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Alexa Lily

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(no subject) [Nov. 7th, 2007|11:11 pm]
Alexa Lily
[Music |take my hand -shawn mcdonald]

it's been insanely long i believe and i'm also quite sure no one checks these anymore.. hah.
so much has changed.  myself, friends, school, boy.
i have another tattoo (another dove, though more white), that i got about a month or so ago.  i'm going to get my tragus pierced fri.  i'm excited but i have a little feeling it might hurt more than my industrial bc it's so thick.  yikes.  claire's gonna be piiiiiissed.
college.. cod.. is alright.  i feel like i'm standing still because i said i was going to cod to figure out what i want to do and i still have no ducking clue what i want.  i'm exactly where i was when i began.  i am leaning towards something with english but i don't really know.  just a thought.
going along with that, i seriously need another job.  i can't exactly leave the pd because i told them i would be available for more hrs december,  and more so, i love nearly everyone i work with. but really.. i think i get about five a ducking week.  not going to cut it, esp since i stayed home to make money.
i miss everyone like crazy.  in a way i love being home because well, it's home.  and yet i'm so jealous that others are away having great times and hey, i'm stuck in dg.  who knows though.
this sounds quite pessimistic, but i'm feeling pretty great.  really.

make a  wish.
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(no subject) [Jun. 7th, 2007|05:37 pm]
Alexa Lily
[Mood |gratefulgrateful]
[Music |freshmen -verve pipe]

I can't believe we're graduating tomorrow. Walking in as a freshman, I remember wondering just how long the past four years would be. They've really flown by. I know everyone says they would, but until I went through it myself, I didn't believe it. Six flags with all you guys.. raptor anyone? haha.. all the sweet sixteens sophomore year.. new years eve, yikes.. rise against.. fob..  junior year, feeling some of those growing pains in friendships.. act's.. realizing we're more than halfway through.. and this year.. our last taste of highschool.. prom and galena, oh man.. deciding where we'll end up next year.. From freshmen to senior year, we've grown so much...  Things and people have changed, whether for better or worse, I hope and think that in the end, we will see the good in all that's happened to us the past four years.
To my friends, acquaintances, etc.. High school really would not have been the same without you.

Thanks for everything guys.
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(no subject) [May. 9th, 2007|10:29 pm]
Alexa Lily
[Mood |envious??]
[Music |apologize -onerepublic]

Prom and the weekend...  a ton of fun.  I lost my voice and I'm kind of sick from it all, but oh well.  Worth it.

Maple Hill : Guarding. Probably coaching but I haven't been told yes/no yet.  I've already decided a few things about the pool..  As much as I love it, I want this to be my last year there.  And I'm going to try my hardest to not get suckered into that damn pool like I have every other summer for a while now.  I need everyone, and it's basically my "last summer" where I know everyone will be around.
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(no subject) [May. 1st, 2007|08:16 pm]
Alexa Lily
[Music |anyway -martina mcbride]

I'm back at square one.

Prom is in just a few days! I'm so excited for it. Galena is going to be crazy

I'm coaching again this summer, guarding, and possibly managing all up at the hill.

Highschool is nearly over. It's really hard to believe. A month and one week til we're graduating. Just thinking back to eighth grade, wondering how much was going to change, who we would meet, what we would decide to do with our lives.. And now to think, that's where I am. I've changed and grown so much. I've met some of my closest friends in highschool.
There's more to say, but I need to do some notes.

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(no subject) [Apr. 17th, 2007|04:41 pm]
Alexa Lily
[Mood |tiredtired]

18 days until prom. I have no dress, no hair appt, no garter, no flowers.. Real sweet.
I  hope I did the right thing.
All my mom does any more is bark at me about anything she sees as wrong.
Nick is leaving for the marines Monday.
I still can't believe we're almost done with high school. So much has changed.
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(no subject) [Mar. 18th, 2007|07:40 pm]
Alexa Lily
[Music |cowboy take me away -dixie chicks]

Florida in one week.
I'm excited for the beach and warm weather. Mostly just for the beach.

I almost want to get sick so that I don't have a full week, but then I'm like oh wait, I really don't want to be sick though.

Friday was #4's bday. Haha, I can't wait til #2.

I watched Garden State last night..goood movie.
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(no subject) [Mar. 11th, 2007|10:06 pm]
Alexa Lily
[Mood |uncomfortablewxedcrftgv]
[Music |the little things -colbie caillat]

For sure.

I'm nervous.

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Snowball. [Mar. 4th, 2007|11:45 am]
Alexa Lily
[Mood |calmcalm]

I went into it pretty excited and a little nervous, because I didn't really know what all we would be doing.
Thursday, got up at 530 so I could be there by 630 (I'm slow...don't you know this?). Right before I was getting on the bus Caleb goes "where's your sleeping bag?" ... awesome.. still in my car with my dad, now at home.. Anyway. Bus ride there we were pretty much not too talkative, tired..etc.
We got there, met our groups, went to our sleeping cabins. I set all my stuff down and we were all talking to each other, and I asked the cabin if anyone had any extra blankets or anything I could use since I forgot my sleeping bag, and this girl, Ashley, the leader of All-American, who I had never met before, was like "don't worry! you can use my sleeping bag!" This girl, I knew for five minutes, was willing to give up her comfort for mine? Wow.
We had a speaker, and he talked about the Ripple Effect. How everyone is effected by the ripple effect, how it can be positive or negative and how more often than not it's negative. But then he went on to say that we control the ripple effect, that we can stop a negative ripple effect or change it into a positive one. A really cool concept, one that I def. plan on using.
We went through all our different activities, got closer with our groups- I have never ever been so open with strangers. But that's the other thing, we went into it nearly complete strangers and I feel like I left with 10 or so more close friends. The things we've all experienced, it was amazing. I felt like their stories reached out and grabbed at my heart strings. Maybe because I'm a little sap, or maybe just because that's how it works. I shared my own stories with these people, broke down and cried in front of them, and was comforted and helped by them. We all got especially close after the skits. Wow. The last one really got to me.
The second day, I got up early so I could go to Sunrise Sharing. More group activities and another speaker (my group missed the first 10 minutes or so because we were having a discussion and didn't realize..). This speech was really powerful too, about what you can say without saying, about what we tend to focus on.. etc. The last two things with everyone were so powerful. I can't even begin to explain what I felt. At the very very end.. I was crying so much but it felt great.
The bus ride home was much more different. We were calling each other out, laughing, dancing, taking pictures, just being more open with everyone we had just met.
I really do feel like I have the power to change where I'm going, to control it, and more importantly, to help and change and reach out to others. I'm going to use it. I'm going to apply what I've learned here. I'm going to try to be more confident, more appreciative, more optimistic and open.
This is getting pretty cheesy but...

I am going to do whatever it takes to paint my perfect picture.
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(no subject) [Feb. 26th, 2007|06:23 pm]
Alexa Lily
[Mood |contentcontent]
[Music |just to see you smile -tim]

Three things:
a) I talked to my mom about WIU and it's basically a green light. I have to talk to her a bit more, but we already talked about housing and such..
b) My mom and I were talking about all sorts of things, and I found out that when I was little, people thought I was jamaican. I was almost crying because I was laughing so hard.
c) Turnabout was great. The dance was a lot of fun. It just felt really long and we either missed the slow songs or they didn't play them.. donnnnn't know. We left early- at 930 or so. We were going to go to Maggiano's but we started driving there and roads were just way too bad so we went back to Kim's and ordered pizza. Kim's was hilarious and awesome. I think I had the best time after as compared to after other dances. I already got some pictures on facebook. :)

I have to work on my psych project.
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(no subject) [Feb. 14th, 2007|10:07 pm]
Alexa Lily
[Mood |frustratedfrustrated]
[Music |alk3]

After all of this shit I've basically made up my mind that I'm going away to school.
Most likely to Western and most likely for elementary education.

Get me the hell out of here.
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(no subject) [Feb. 11th, 2007|09:35 pm]
Alexa Lily
[Mood |calmcalm]
[Music |hallelujah -rufus wainwright]

1. I miss you so much. We talk but it's not the same anymore. I just don't know what to do, because we have clearly gone our separate ways, and I feel so different/separated from you, and I just wish we could hang out again. We had some absolutely hilarious times....Cops and you tweaking out and coming home late.. With our boy situations... I miss you. I'll always be here for you, trust me on that.

2. You and I don't hang out nearly as much as I'd like us to, but whenever we do, I have so much fun, and I wish it would happen all the time. We've gone through some rediculous things together, and we've been together for such a long time. We have our own things to do though, so I get why we don't see eachother. I just love when we hang out, regardless of what we do. I'm here no matter what the hell happens. Even though we don't talk as much, I still feel like I can tell you anything. You're like another sister of mine.

3. You're absolutely hilarious. Our rides to school are pretty funny. I feel like we're more alike than we think. I tell you everything, when I have a problem or just need someone to listen to me, you're the first person I go to. You have such a good heart and you know what you want and you don't take the bullshit. I love that. You're also like another sister to me. Once again, I'm here no matter what happens or where we go in life.

4. I miss you a lot. I don't really know what to do about the situation.

5. We aren't too close, and I know you being away at school kind of changes things, but I want us to be closer. You give an honest answer, which I always appreciate. We're a lot alike. I remember parts of that night and I'm not sure if I every truly told you just how much I appreciated it. You're such a gentle & pure hearted person and you're so talented too. I miss you a lot, and I can't wait to visit. I would really like to. Again.. I'm here (or there) for you no matter what happens.

6. We're so much alike, and we've been on and off close. Your mom sometimes makes me feel guilty about it but I almost feel like I deserve it. We've kind of gone our separate ways and again, I understand why we don't hang out, I just want things to be a little different. We had such great times together, and I miss that. I want to hang out with you but time is never in our favor. You're so open, and I know it doesn't really show, but I need you, at least a little bit.. I want to go watch Moulin Rouge and just have a fun night with you.

I'm stopping there for tonight. These are pretty obvious, but that's okay. You all mean so much to me, and I don't show that nearly enough. I find it interesting how a lot of this is "I wish".. or "I want"... I don't know. I'm not sure how to change my/our cycles.
I like to think I'm getting a little better with managing my time. I hope so. I really do.
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(no subject) [Feb. 11th, 2007|02:15 pm]
Alexa Lily
[Mood |happyhappy]
[Music |yours isnt first -self against city]

I finally ordered a new digital camera since mine died 203498290348098 jillion years ago. I'm pretty excited for that.
Now I need to get a new cell phone, which is going to suuuck since it's going to be expensive, but mine is a POS and I'm sick of it.

Things to be excited for:
New shoes (no more mocs :( RIP)
Arrival of camera
Snowball :D
Spring break (FL!!! w/Emma & parents, and Sara)

SIU/Conference: Casey did pretty well. She placed 10th for 100 back, and 8th for 200 back; got her best times. I had fun. :)

And now.. time to be sneaky!
:D :D
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(no subject) [Feb. 1st, 2007|09:20 pm]
Alexa Lily
[Mood |confusedconfused]
[Music |what if you -joshua radin]

I want to go to COD.
I don't want to go to COD.
I want to go to Western.
I don't want to go to Western (ISU? UIC?).
I want to be a teacher (elementary? hs?).
I don't know what I want to do at all.

Uuuuuughhh..I want other options.

.. I don't know what I want.
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(no subject) [Jan. 25th, 2007|09:34 pm]
Alexa Lily
[Mood |tiredtired]
[Music |crashed -chris daughtry]

Got it done Tuesday after school by Jason at Tomato Tattoo. He was hilarious, makin jokes because half of my ass was just out there and just stuff like that. Kim and Becky (thank fuckin goodness) went with me and I was def. holding their hands the entire time, and they were talkin me through it. It hurt like a bitch and I kept tensing up my muscles.. but in my opinion the shading hurt more than the outline, but I did a little better with the shading because I was more used to it. I'll be honest: I'm really surprised I didn't cry, and it looks pretty bad ass. :) It's a dove, shaded with gray and a little white. Yesterday it hurt like a rediculously bad sunburn and was sticking to my clothes (that hurt so bad), and today wasn't as tedious/painful, but it still hurts, and I really wish clothes weren't a necessity, ha, it would make things a lot less painful.
This is a small picture of it, but oh well..
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Tonight, I had to sit through a three hour CPR/AED course to get recertified, only to find out when we were done that Rachel and I who need it for Lifeguard ("professional rescuer"), need to take a different test, and quite possibly sit a different course...For real? That would suck. Three hours (which I'm unsure if I even get paid for) for being rediculously bored? Ha. Plus Red Cross changed CPR and rescue breathing; who does that? GSKKLSJGlkjsljkslksfkllkslkjZLWdfxvmniOPEBGWPophaS.

My classes so far this semester aren't bad. Composition seems alright, a little boring esp. first, but I'll deal. Then Psych 2 with Ms. Kenny which thus far hasn't been anything new. Photo 2, Ms. Lynn, I'm so excited to be back in photo, and I'm really surprised I remember how to work almost everything with the enlarger, etc. Then 3 period of nothing- lifeguarding (we have one class this quarter, but not for another 2ish weeks?), lunch, study hall, it kind of sucks having them all in a row, nothing I can do about it though. Then Calc and Physics.
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(no subject) [Jan. 23rd, 2007|03:53 pm]
Alexa Lily
[Mood |scaredscared]


:\ :\!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SDFKLJSDFKLJVXC
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