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a mushy gushy probably wouldn't want to read kind of post [Feb. 5th, 2007|09:06 pm]
[Current Mood |contemplativecontemplative]

I think I grow more in love with him each day I'm with him. I can't describe it. It's this feeling that just consumes and engulfs me. I can't believe Sunday will be six months. Can't believe that it's been this long and can't believe it's only been this long. I feel like we've been together forever. This afternoon I was in such a weird mood and just being with him pulled me out of my funk. I wanted him to hold me forever in his arms.

We were sitting on the steps next to the Goat today talking about us and what is going to happen when I leave. And I was starting to get pretty emotional and this woman got out of her car, went into the goat, and then stopped to say something to us when she came back out. She told us that she had to just a take a minute before she got out of her car because she was so amazed at what she had seen before her. She said it was so powerful to watch the two of us. I thought it was one of the nicest things I'd ever heard. It in effect just made me cry harder, but it was so nice that a perfect stranger said that. Langston was weirded out and thought it was really strange, but I thought she was so nice.

I don't know what really prompted this rambling. Really just that I needed a place to let these feelings out. I feel weird if I talk about it too much because I don't want to bore those around me or become somewhat annoying with my jabber. But I really feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have such an amazing boyfriend. I know that sounds so cliche and day old, but it's true. We just click so perfectly. And despite the fact that I'm sad about leaving I'm really really happy with the place I am in.
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(no subject) [Jan. 24th, 2007|07:46 am]
[Current Mood |tiredtired]

things are strange.

worrying about those you no longer trust.
too tired to get out of bed in the morning.
too sick to want to think about the fact that you should be using my last fifteen minutes at home to study for finals.
realizing a close friend is gone, probably forever.
betrayed by one you tried to help. one who asked for help. one who is back to old habits.
feeling unsteady.

only a few things are certain right now, and I find myself clawing madly at them to hold on while everything else whirls around me.
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going on two cups of coffee... [Jan. 19th, 2007|08:02 am]
[Current Mood |excitedexcited]
[Current Music |billie holliday-body and soul]

so tonight is opening night! you guys should come, because it promises to be loads of fun. 7pm at the Raven, tonight, Saturday, and Sunday and then next Friday.

Tonight is pay what you can!!!!

Plus it's fun because I get to wear lots of red lipstick and yell at people and smack them with my large purse. Oh and you can see caitlin as a sexy blonde dancer!!!!

that's it.
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ARG. [Nov. 12th, 2006|07:40 pm]
[Current Music |regina spektor-loveology]

I realized today how incapable I am of letting someone tell me something nice. I cry when Mrs. Todd tells me how amazing she thinks I am. I cried when I read the letter of reccomendation Mr. Shroeder wrote for me. I cried just now when langston told me I was "beautiful, inspiring, intelligent, and awesome".

I don't understand why it hurts me so much to hear things like that.

God I feel so rotten right now. I just want to throw something or scream or take it out on someone. Unfortunately it seems like Langston got the brunt of that one...like he always does. WHY am I so horrid. I need to stop being such a terrible girlfriend. Why do we always take our hurts out on the ones we love the most?

you-ology, me-ology
love-ology, kiss-ology, stay-ology, please-ology..
love-ology, love-ology, I'm sorry-ology, forgive me-ology
oh, an incurable humanist you are
oh, forgive me, forgive me-ology
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(no subject) [Apr. 25th, 2006|09:52 pm]
[Current Mood |amusedamused]

oh and one more thing. In the words of Justin: "we=gods"

I just found where he wrote that on my paper. It made me laugh.
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(no subject) [Sep. 24th, 2005|11:18 am]
I felt it was time to start afresh.

Friends only though. Comment and I'll add you.
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