Lady Godiva's room..
Lady Godiva's room.. [entries|friends|calendar]

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[17 Oct 2017|09:20pm]

[06 Mar 2017|06:42pm]
i'm going to chile next thursday HAHA. My travel rewards card came and i get paid friday and we had already budgeted it in and i found a great price sooooooooo i just did it. I'm really anxious to fly, as i always am, but excited to go back to chile in a much healthier state than how i left it. and stay with pamela and her family in playa ancha and visit my old loft and eat all my foods and honestly it will be satisfying for me knowing that fernandos family will see me traveling to chile on my own. and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

[12 Jan 2016|05:20pm]
hoy hice yoga, pase el dia en cama con ganas por un milkshake. voy a hablar con la mujer manana pero no creo que va a resultar, parece desorganizada. creo que voy a hacer afiches para tutoria de ingles y intentar hacer un poco de plata con eso. Voy bien con mi budget por ahora. Subi para comprar y estuvo cerrada la tienda, pero sonaba el piano arriba y una voz de opera hermosisima. me sente en las escaleras y mire al mar y la vista escuchandola en el sol. despues baje y compre un pastelito en vez de helado y un pan para once. being here is ten times better for my SER than i ever imagined. i was crying in the airport bathroom before i came. but now i know why my soul was pulling towards here all year.

[10 Oct 2015|05:54pm]
pushing it back to train and rest and give time
UN said i could contribute to HOMY.
sobbed all day. i start psychotherapy monday to exorcise my mother's impact

[12 May 2015|07:59pm]
things i value:

nature, the idea of a family, love, balance in life, balance in life, balance in life. few needs and wants, health, taking care of my body and mind, supporting loved ones.

things i don’t value: doing things for prestige, ego, pressure to do what i ‘should’ do, unsustainable living.

hm. i guess this decision should be easier and regret-free than i imagine it to be.

for a minute there, i lost myself
1 __ |_♥♥

[06 May 2015|03:44pm]
glad i went to the doctor. bloodwork shows low platelets again and clumping. referring me to another hematologist.
scared. tired.
fernando doesn't feel anything and it ruins me. im crying a lot the past 24 hours. nothing makes any sense.

[19 Apr 2015|07:43pm]
i should have never stopped learning violeta songs on the guitar

[03 Mar 2015|12:16pm]
estoy viendo documentales chilenos sobre gustavo y viendo los comentario de una prima de fern que vive en iqique quien siempre queria conocer mejor por que es super piola y tiene actitud como yo y estoy escuchando a las voces y recorriendo la vida ahi en mi cabeza y ahora solo tengo ganas de volver a chile o argentina. QUE ES CHISTOSA LA VIDA.

[26 Jan 2015|10:09pm]

[10 Apr 2014|02:44pm]
I get up in the evening
and I ain't got nothing to say
I come home in the morning
I go to bed feeling the same way
I ain't nothing but tired
Man I'm just tired and bored with myself
Hey there baby, I could use just a little help

You can't start a fire
You can't start a fire without a spark
This gun's for hire
even if we're just dancing in the dark

Message keeps getting clearer
radio's on and I'm moving 'round the place
I check my look in the mirror
I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face
Man I ain't getting nowhere
I'm just living in a dump like this
There's something happening somewhere
baby I just know that there is

You can't start a fire
you can't start a fire without a spark
This gun's for hire
even if we're just dancing in the dark

You sit around getting older
there's a joke here somewhere and it's on me
I'll shake this world off my shoulders
come on baby this laugh's on me

Stay on the streets of this town
and they'll be carving you up alright
They say you gotta stay hungry
hey baby I'm just about starving tonight
I'm dying for some action
I'm sick of sitting 'round here trying to write this book
I need a love reaction
come on now baby gimme just one look

You can't start a fire sitting 'round crying over a broken heart
This gun's for hire
Even if we're just dancing in the dark
You can't start a fire worrying about your little world falling apart
This gun's for hire
Even if we're just dancing in the dark

[03 Apr 2014|05:06pm]
"and I am out with lanterns, looking for myself."

—Emily Dickinson

[24 Mar 2014|10:46pm]
“Time to leave now, get out of this room, go somewhere, anywhere; sharpen this feeling of happiness and freedom, stretch your limbs, fill your eyes, be awake, wider awake, vividly awake in every sense and every pore.”

perfect morning after bad day song [03 Jan 2014|09:47am]

elegy [04 Jul 2013|04:44pm]
To know love as having merely to look upon it
is as much a curse as blessing, for certain knowing
we will mourn its presence, its loss before the fact.
That we reminisce about the present and suffer gladly
the grief to come, inescapable as a foreshadowing,
is why those already grieving have so much power over us:
how they preside, how they utterly know our names.
Would it be much to offer a few words as comfort,
to give voice to our longings, and like the prayer
offered silently in the presence of suffering, betray
ourselves the fear and reverence we hold them in.
Would it be as much or not nearly enough to learn
grief through anticipation, pain in its absence, thirst
before the well, hunger amid plenty, just as we know
love when we are most alone, and loss when at last
we have but to look upon what we have yet to mourn

[26 Jun 2013|06:25pm]

elena wrote this in our journal a long time ago. relevent right now. [06 Apr 2013|11:18pm]
"i understand that people grow and change. and i also understand that there is a definite tendency to grow with the things that are closest to you. its less work and its easier. instead of holding onto something that can't always be there right when you need it, you have something available the second you snap your fingers. and its all so logical. and logics of course means there's no one to blame. and you think you can have both. and perhaps there is a way to do so, for a while. but as time goes by you realize that its impossible. because tendencies just won't allow it.
unless of course, you feel that there is nothing close to you worth the time and effort. and it isnt that you dont want to have that one thing that you can have whenever you need it, its just that nothing really seems right. and whether its by your own subconciously driven behavior or logic, it begins to seem as though you don't have much of anything. because youve deemed the things closest to you inadequate, and the relationships you were holding onto, have worn thin. because of tendencies, of course. "

[06 Apr 2013|10:58pm]
Grow | Amanda Bass

I’ve felt the world turning
But never quite this slow
I can feel my heart burning
God it hurts to grow

[10 Oct 2012|11:51am]
i need elena.

[30 Sep 2012|10:16pm]

Vi mi vida desplegándose ante mí,mi vida como las ramas de la higuera verde.
En la punta de cada rama como un grueso higo morado,me hacía señas y me llamaba un futuro maravilloso.Un higo era un marido y un hogar feliz e hijos y otro higo era una famosa poeta y otro higo era una brillante profesora y otro higo era Europa y Africa y Sudamérica,y otro higo era un montón de amantes con nombres extraños y otro higo era una campeona del equipo olímpico.
Me veía sentada en la horquilla de la higuera muriéndome de hambre,sólo porque no sabía que higo elegir. Los quería todos y cada uno,pero escoger uno significaba perder todos los demás.

[20 Sep 2012|10:13pm]
We walk in the cedar groves
intending love, no one is here

but the suicides, returned
in the shapes of birds
with their razor-blue
feathers, their beaks like stabs, their eyes
red as the food of the dead, their single
iridescent note,
complaint or warning:

Everything dies, they say,
Everything dies.
Their colours pierce the branches.

Ignore them. Lie on the ground
like this, like the season
which is full and not theirs;

our bodies hurt them,
our mouths tasting of pears, grease,
onions, earth we eat
which was not enough for them,
the pulse under the skin, their eyes
radiate anger, they are thirsty:

Die, they whisper, Die,
their eyes consuming
themselves like stars, impersonal:

they do not care whose
blood fills the sharp trenches
where they were buried, stake through
the heart; as long
as there is blood.
--Margaret Atwood

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