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mandapants !!!

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[25 Mar 2004|08:41pm]
[ mood | yayayay ]

tonight was class. it was the first time i went in almost a month. i'm a slacker. but that's okay though! my average is thirty two points over what it's supposed to be to take the test, so next month means i'm getting my GED. & may means i'm going to beauty school. & that means i'm supersupersuper happy. i cannot wait. for serious. i'm finally going to start working on my dreams. it's such a great feeling to be able to say that. no, really.

2 !!!

[24 Mar 2004|05:01pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

today i got woke up at nine. again. but this time it was someone of importance. & not some fuckass who kept calling all fucking day & got pissed when i wouldn't answer the phone. okay so it was one of my moms friends asking if i needed a ride to town to get an application. i went to save a lot, for the third time in hopes of getting an application. but they were only hiring in the meat deptartment & no thanks. that has to be the hardest place to get an application. ever ever. so i sat in her car while she got some medicene filled, singing queen & dancing. i r00l. hands down. on the way home i took back two applications & got one & i'm taking two back tomorrow. hi im in serious need of jobage. i need money to save so i can move out. after fifteen & a half years of living here, i'm ready to gogogo! & so ready to be with him everyday. & be independent. && all that jazz.

post script; i just sat through almost an hour of horrible videos on the steelroots countdown in hopes of seeing the WHOLE beloved video. & i did. & it made me smile.

2 !!!

[24 Mar 2004|04:07am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

here goes another entry about my amazing weekend with the most bestest boy ever.
i went to his house friday & left monday. friday night we went outside in our jammies & watched planes go over. this was the best part of the whole weekend. he's the only person i can totally be myself around. i know i can be super silly & say stupid stuff & he'll think it's cute. we can do nothing at all & still have the best of times. we care most about the little things. this is why i know i'll spend forever loving this boy.
the rest of the weekend was just as great. sghetti o's at one in the am. ghetto lemonaide & actually liking it. cuddling times forever. come get me! the face. i love you on the mirror. finding nemo & ice age. hot pocket on my cheek. naps. smiles that last forever. eighties music & crying. skruffy k & fresh ass rhymesflows. forever holding hands. omg that truck is gonna get me. nigguh we on cops!! making out at the truck stop. again. the last kisses that still linger on my lips.
i miss him sosooosososoo much. & i miss being in bartlett. i love it there. it's such a change from being here. it's so busy & i love it. parts of me want to live around there. like, most of me. but i'd probably miss small town life. but i'm in need of a change. next year needs to hurry up.

2 !!!

[17 Mar 2004|06:51pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

bordem killsCollapse )

2 !!!

[17 Mar 2004|04:33pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

omgggzz the backstreet boys are on oprah.
!!!! oh the memories.
BSB. <333535973.
end teeny bopper moment.

1 !!!

[17 Mar 2004|03:59pm]
[ mood | amused ]

i haven't done much of anything today. but tonight i'm dying my hair. black, of course. i still need a job, so i don't need to do anything too out there. this is a small town in tennessee; they don't exactly welcome anything other than your basics. but whatev. it works.
i hope i can get a job soon. it sucks not having one. or anything to do. but it sucks a tons more not having money.


[14 Mar 2004|03:52pm]
[ mood | excited ]

i've finally decided to do it. i'm gonna paint my room. NO MORE BLACK FOR ME THANKS. kay. i'm gonna paint it a light greenesh color. almost like a light lime green. kind of. & i'm gonna try to find some black fabric with either white hearts or polka dots & maybe make my sheets. thats a big maybe. or maybe one of you know where i could get these type of sheets? or maybe find some pink striped sheets. & a white comforter.
it's gonna take forever to get used to it being bright. i just need a change before i move out. hopefully by the first of next year. it depends on when i finish beauty school; that i'll start in may. i hope.

3 !!!

[12 Mar 2004|06:05pm]
[ mood | annoyed but happy. ]

i clicked the update thingy with the intentions of having a big rant about ex boyfriends & old friends. how i wish ninety percent of the douche bags here would eat aids & die. all theyre worried about is what theyre gonna wear to their lameass prom, getting shitfaced, small town drama, & being stuck up whatever scene we haves ass. why i'm so anti social. & why i only enjoy the company of my love as of late. but instead it's going to be one of those omg i'm going to talk about my amazing boyfriend & how much i adore him & make you puke your ass out rants. why? cus my head fucking hurts to no end & i don't feel like typing all of that out. & i'm sure no one would read it anyway.
i wish it was next friday already. i can't wait to see him. & i can't wait until the day i don't have to wait to see him anymore. he fucking owns your face. & my heart. for always. other boys don't come close to how fucking amazing this boy is. for serious. i know his love for me is pure. i know he'll always be there for me & murder anyones face that tries to harm me in any way.

i love this boy with everything i have.
&& i love the way he never fails to bring a smile to my face every day.

1 !!!

[10 Mar 2004|11:40am]
[ mood | good ]

i took my application back to e.w. james yesterday. i really wanna work at a grocery store. it beats fast food by like forever. while i was there i got some groceries, so i finally started my diet today.
i dyed my moms hair last night. & there was some left over, so i tried to put some lightesh brown in my hair. but it didn't work. & it made me super sad. i really want some brown or auburn in my hair. i guess i'll have to go to the pros. or use my hair dryer on it. which would have been smart to do last night. duh.


[09 Mar 2004|10:51am]
Get to know the REAL you by crash_and_burn
Your Name
You Are A:Thug
Your Favorite Band/SongLe Tigre - Deceptacon
You Like To Read:Anything political
You Firmly Believe In:Sex at first sight
Everyone Thinks You Are:The coolest person in history
You Were Conceived:Backstage at a Queen concert
You Will Marry:Fidel Castro
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

baby cus i'm a thug.
4 !!!

[09 Mar 2004|10:18am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

so for the billionth time, i'm sitting here watching the true life about kids 'coming out.' & for the billionth time, i'm liking it. it's cute how the one girl won't tell her dad. & makes the weird noises.
& i've been thinking about a ton of stuff lately. like, how i want a girl best friend. it's sucks when they live an hour away & your plans always fall through. & then you feel bad. but what can you do?
i want someone who i can leave my door unlocked for in the afternoon, cus i know i'll still be sleeping. & she would come in & sleep with me. & she'd know me like the back of her hand. & the same with her. & we'd keep each others secrets religiously. & make cupcakes for each other out of random. & she could call at all hours of the night to talk about a cute boy or something stupid & i'd still be giddy to talk to her. & have silly singalongs to eighties songs or the latest pop sensation. & we would never get tired of each other. & zero drama.
granted, i have the best friend ever; my boyfriend. but i need someone to talk about girly stuff with & make clothes with &&& ect.
i have 23949.7597-098 things on my mind. thats just one of them. & it kind of makes me sad. whatev.

16 !!!

[07 Mar 2004|10:12am]
[ mood | weird ]

yesterday i made muffins & watched the chappelle show. i watched the one where he made fun of lil jon. & i was in tears. it was awesome. that man gets a thumbs up.
& yesterday i found out that one of my best friends got married friday?! weird.
&& i fell in love with brand new all over again. <3.

4 !!!

[06 Mar 2004|10:46am]
[ mood | amused ]

101 rules of hardxcore.

I beg of everyone that reads this to print it out and give it to a scene kid, because hardcore is no laughing matter.

1) Be tough at all times.
2) Never cheer after a show... only clap.
3) Be open minded in a "punch people" kind of way.
4) Only the good hardcore bands have names that are sentences with bad grammar. Ex: Boy Hits Car, Boy Sets Fire, Skycamefalling, Boy Sets Car-fire.
5) Ankles are tough so bring your socks down into your shoes so we can see them.
6) Tattoos are tough especially when they are on your calves. See rule #5 on how to see said tattoo more clearly.
7) Wear your hoodie in the mosh pit because sweating like a wild pig makes you look tough.
8) Don't admit you listen to heavy metal.
9) Exception to rule #8: only admit you listen to heavy metal if you think it is ironic and you wear 80's cheese metal shirts.
10) Be a non-conformist, just like all your friends.
11) Practice hardcore dancing in front of your mirror and then try them out the next time Atreyu comes to town.
12) A hardcore band is only original if you call it something-core. Ex: screamcore, emocore, screamocore, mathcore, or medio-core.
13) Remember, it's fun to punch and kick kung fu style.
14) Keep it in the do-jo.
15) Real hardcore fans are called kids.
16) Complain how hardcore bands are playing with metal bands at all costs!
17) Have your own zine, website, production company or be in a band. Claim you are friends with the singer from Shai Halud.
18) Tell people you work in the music industry.
19) More ankles people!
20) Embrace everybody in the scene except for those people who are not you.
21) Refer to bands as old school or new school and then act tough again.
22) Pretend that you get Dillinger Escape Plan.
23) Shop at second hand stores and then go buy expensive shoes.
24) Beat people up and then go to bible study class.
25) Smoking, drinking, and having sex before marriage is too trendy. Real hardcore tough guys abstain.
26) Whatever you do, don't let the singer on stage ever sing in the mic. Make sure you grab it from him and sing in it yourself. After all, you do a better job singing than him. It's a wonder they didn't put you on the album.
27) Start your own hardcore band.
28) Have your logo resemble some random 80's product for nostalgia.
29) Talk about the scene any chance you get. Say as many obscure hardcore bands from NJ as possible.
30) If you are shy, start an emo band so you don't have to look at the audience.
31) People who know more bands than you are better than you.
32) Add the letter X before and after important words. Ex: XhardcorekidX, XmoshfuckX
33) Never say, "id you hear the new Strung Out?" unless you are attempting to be funny in which case stop it because hardcore kids are tough not funny.
34) It's merch not merchandise.
35) Hardcore girls must wear head bands at all times.
36) Stretch your ears out to look more intimidating.
37) The bigger you stretch your ears out, the more hardcore you are.
38) Your ears should be stretched out enough to accommodate a block of wood, a hubcap, or a penis.
39) People in the front row are best used as a ladder/staircase to reach your goal... steal the mic away from the singer.
40) When people ask you if you like a band always say, "I only like the old stuff" or "I haven't really gotten into the new stuff."
41) Buy all of that band's merch.
42) Wear your new merch at the next hardcore show.
43) Repeat #41 and #42
44) If you have to wear glasses, make sure they are thick, black framed ones.
45) Don't tell anybody, but make sure you try on your new vintage clothes and stud belt before heading out to see Poison the Well.
46) Never admit you don't like Hatebreed and go see them live 12 times a year.
47) Complain that they are playing with Slayer, but don't admit you actually like Slayer.
48) Complain at all costs.
49) Tag team hardcore dancing is cool.
50) Real hardcore kids are really struggling photographers.
51) You don't go to hardcore concerts, you go to hardcore shows. BIG difference.
52) Name your hardcore dance moves things like "The Mother Fuck" or "Kick That Guy's Ass Move" or better yet... stay home and cry.
53) Protect your body from swinging limbs by sacrificing your two arms.
54) Scream about love.
55) All age venues are important so you are not tempted to drink.
56) Claim you know a guy who knows a guy whose best friend was standing next to the guy who got his ass kicked during Converge. Bash the hardcore scene and then go see The Get Up Kids.
57) Anytime somebody mentions a band always say you know somebody in the band.
58) Wear your pins with honor! Shai Halud, American Nightmare, Minor Threat are the purple heart of valour.
59) Velcro shoes are cool.
60) Don't admit that you have a crush on the singer from Walls of Jericho. If somebody asks, say you respect her as a musician only.
61) Your band name should contain one of the following words: blood, murder, kill, victim and/or butterfly.
62) Print your band name as if it was on a bad printing press. Actual graphics are for posers.
63) Sleep on a portrait painted prettier then everyone.
64) 100 bands from around the world are to play in your city. All of them are the world's best hardcore bands. Every label represented, every hardcore subgenre present. The venue is the best all-ages venue in the world. Tickets are $1.00. It is your job to go around saying the festival should be free.
65) Record producers must make sure to pump the mid because mid is tough.
66) Re-issue your demos after every album.
67) When the band starts playing, everybody join hands and make a big circle so we can watch the big kids play.
68) Crying on stage makes you a professional.
69) Complain some more.
70) Album covers must be made at home on Photoshop by your good friend.
71) If you are from New York, NEVER smile in a promo pic. In fact, always try to cross your arms and look into the camera as if you are going to beat up who ever is looking.
72) If you are from New Jersey, NEVER smile in a promo pic either. In fact, try to look like you just lost your girl friend to the hardcore band from New York.
73) Never admit that emo is country music lyrics mixed with pop rock riffs and marketed by 17 year olds trying to make their friend be the next Dashboard Confessional.
74) American Idol is your worst enemy (but you voted for Ruben).
75) You can get away with glitter on your face as long as your stretched ear plugs are clear.
76) Fuck beer; got breast milk?
77) Bandanas are cool.
78) Bandanas with big X on them are cooler.
79) Bandanas with big X on them were cool last week, you poser.
80) Your best friend is a guy named XattackX from Jersey who you chat with on MSN everyday. He is coming to see you one day. Really.
81) Chunky breakdowns in your songs are original and you should continue to do them despite every other band doing them which is clearly a rip off of your band.
82) Judge other bands and always compare them to the socio-cultural effects of the band Integrity.
83) Look up socio-cultural in the dictionary and then get offended.
84) Green Day is the real reason you are still alive.
85) Describe your group of friends as "The Scene."
86) Obey the laws of the hardcore scene or forever be banished from the circle.
87) When somebody asks you what is hardcore respond with, "I am hardcore" then punch somebody in the face for looking at you wrong.
88) Keep punching.
89) Kick a little, too.
90) Punch.
91) Add a threat about their mother for good measure.
92) Pretend you won the fight then pickup your dismembered left arm.
93) You are wearing the same thing as the 40-year old gas pump attendant, but for some strange mystical reason you are cooler than he is.
94) Tell everybody that Trustkill Records is too trendy.
95) Did you stop acting tough? I saw you hug that teddy bear.
96) Pierce you tits and tattoo your body.
97) Straight bangs mean straightedge
98) Being vegan means you can't swallow sperm.
99) When in doubt, mock everything.
100) Take everything personally.
101) Assume this list is about you!

hahhahha. that's so silly.

4 !!!

[05 Mar 2004|06:36pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

my mom is a fucking jerkface. i'm supposed to go to kates tomorrow. but my mom isn't home. & i doubt she'll come home before twelve tomorrow. she hasn't been home since this morning. her car is in the drive way. but i have no fucking clue as to where she is. it's cool how she never tells me where she's going & always has her phone off. that's really awesome.
so kateface; if i'm not there, do you wanna hang next weekend or something? & i'm soososo sorry. ;/


[05 Mar 2004|02:01am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

if you read this, you win my life.Collapse )

1 !!!

[03 Mar 2004|07:26pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

my lips are chapped.
today i got more applications; pizza hut & taco bell. there were only like two people working at taco bell. so maybe that'll work. but then i'd get super fat, cus i love taco bell.

7 !!!

[03 Mar 2004|10:16am]
[ mood | good ]

richard came this weekend. & it was the best. like always.
he came friday & got to stay til tuesday. !!!. his mom was sick monday & so was he, which kind of sucked. but they got better & he got to stay an extra day; our anniversery.
we got to go grocery shopping together. i was so excited, cus i'm a dork. & we wrassled. & everyone knows i owned his face. & we found one of my old ken dolls & turned him fashionxcore/homo/suicidexking/wrestler. & richard wrestled with him. & it was the funniest. & we made out at a truck stop. &&&! he gave me a promise ring. &&&! i'm the happiest girl ever.
ohh. & yesterday i had an interview at lee's. it's a chicken place. i don't think i'll get the job. i don't have that small town girl look going on. & i guess that's what they want. so whatever. i'll just keep looking.

10 !!!

[28 Feb 2004|02:15pm]
[ mood | good ]

happy birthday kateface. <3.

1 !!!

[27 Feb 2004|12:44am]
[ mood | excited ]

today. today. today.
i cannot wait. <3.


[25 Feb 2004|06:47pm]
[ mood | cold ]

i took my applications back. cross your fingers for me guys.
then me & my mom went to some stores in downtown milan.
one was total oldschool; she went to it when she was younger. i got a white button up shirt & a brown trucker hat for richard. i was going to get this cute red jacket. but i didn't think i really needed it, so i didn't. but i wish i would have. & on my way out i found the cutest belts ever ever.
sigh. coheed is in memphis tonight. & i'm not there.
suckage times 29348258.28d.472349.


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