south carolina was fucking amazing. =)
i enjoyed it. it was good to have a break.
i figured out what i'm going to do with my life.
lj has sooo much god damn drama.
i didnt even read any of jessicas or kaytes comments.
i just read grants, kaysi's, and candices,
and i'd have to say, i <3 them the mooooost, they are rad.
and jessica just bcuz you say shit in your journal,
and post a picture,
doesn't make you the shit, and it doesn't even phase me.
Hhhm.. so i've done stuff. yay the end.
at least when i say i'll quit doing things,
i actually follow thru. =)
and your riiight, i did follow trends or whatever you want to say,
but at least now i've found myself,
and i've found out who my true friends really are,
and who's fake and will use you,
until you can't give them what they want,
or you piss them off and they turn their backs,
or people who ignore you for months,yeh real good friends. =)
im just glad that we got that all in the open,
and that were not friends anymore,
cuz i can honestly say,
i am better off without you dragging me down.
and don't say you never followed trends,
or was trendy jessica, or did something to fit in,
bcuz that would be a damn lie, EVERYONES done it.
and don't think your hot shit bcuz you listen to
hardcore music, or because your scene, and you put on an act,
and your completely bipolar and a bitch all the time.
you try to hurt people. but hahaha, you didn't even touch me,
bcuz im above you, and i don't have to sit here anymore,
and call you a skank, slut, cunt, whore, blah blah blah.
cuz thats immature, like you, who run your mouth all the time,
and trys to start drama, you can't get to me,
your not hot shit. your dumb, and immature.
which is why i didn't even read your posts, just deleted them.
your not worth my time.
run your mouth, do whatever you want, i don't care,
you just look like the immature one.
i looooooooooove how people talk shit as soon as i leave tho.
its rad. =)
hahahah. talk it up, i really don't care anymore.
kaysi, grant, candice, jessica burnside,
ashly, arien, megan, lizzie, sean l,
sean t, petey, jaime, anthony,
kayleigh, sara, mk, em, diana, megan w,
katie c, katie ch, you guys are
the best, true friends ever.
anyyyways. SC was amazing,
the marines is amazing,
the discipline, honor, courage,
and commitment all those men have.
it blows your mind, it really does,
just the look they have now,
shows they have made a difference.
and that is really something,
and it finally hit me,
that it doesn't matter what people say about you,
it doesn't matter what you've done in the past,
it matters what you work through, and what you commit to,
and what you accomplish in the future,
life is a journey, your supposed to make mistakes,
as long as you look at them, and change for the better,
and i'm at the point right now,
where theres a few roads i could go,
and its up to me to decide which one to take from here,
and i've decided, no more drinking, or drugs,
bcuz honestly they are dumb, you think they take away what your going thru,
but once your sober its right back to where you were.
theres no point to it. seriously.
no more sex until i'm in a serious relationship,
that goes without saying, cuz the times b4 it wasnt really enjoyed,
i didn't enjoy it every single time, i didnt want to do it everytime,
some of the times i just thought i had to, that it was what
was supposed to happen, i didn't want to disappoint anybody,
i wanted to fit in. but now i really don't care if i fit in,
i'd rather go places with my life, and have respect for my self,
and have people have respect for me.
it will be a big change, but i am ready to make that big change.
before i would play around with it, say i would do it,
but i've neevr had a reason to do it, it was just because that was the right thing, blah blah blah.
but now i have something i want to work for,
somewhere i want to go, and i know i can't get there going down the road i am going, so i changed my path, and i am getting rid of the distractions,
it doesn't mean i won't go to parties, when i get my car,
ill be designated driver, ill drink soda or energy drinks,
while everyone else gets drunk and stupid, like i used to get,
i'd have to admit, i do like the taste of alcohol, and that it was becoming
a problem, bcuz i was drinking more than once a week, i was drinking mabey 3 times a week, which is a bad way to keep going, cuz then you become an alcoholic, these past 3 days, i've finally got some sense knocked into me,
being away from all my friends and other influences,
and seeing what you can accomplish,
makes me want to be better and change,
so i am. and this time its for good.
my last post in this lj. i might make a new one,
if your one of my true friends, ill add you,
ive already deleted people off my friends list,
i don't want to read their ljs, its a waste of time.