let me break the ice

the nights is black, black as its ever been

It's pouring out.
It's depressing.

Today was uneventful, math homework, fixed my LJ up, dinner at my grandma's house at 530, chilled at my aunt's house with my lil cousins til 9:15, starbucks with Alyssa, picked up clock tower and went to get him his milkshake and then I came home.

Been sitting here ever since downloading music..

♥ C
let me break the ice

One Look Could Kill, My Pain Your Thrill.

Today i've been so depressed.. I can't help it.

I talked to D again, I was happy for a few minutes.. Hung up and reality sunk back in.. He doesn't want me like I want him, apparently.

Once I get gastric bypass I know i'll be happier. It's inevitable, I have to. I can't live like this, not anymore.

I've had it with everything & everyone.

♥ C
  • Current Music
    Poison - Alice Cooper
  • Tags
    ,
let me break the ice

i fuck like a porn starrr

Okay so this week has been amazingly gay. I've been extremely sick and dying all week, tired and other shit.. I skipped my first class of the semester this week which was annoying because i wasn't planning on skipping any this semester unless it was an emergency.. but oh well, I didn't feel like taking the shuttle in the rain when I was already exhausted and I went to my first class of that day and then I just didn't go to criminal justice.. but I went today so thats fine..

Tomorrow i'm going to buy a new sidekick because mine is a piece of shit and I cant stand it anymore. I dropped it like 1020123 times and now I lost one of the sides on it and I still don't get some of my calls which happened last time all the time before I got a new sim card..

But yeah life really sucks right about now because i'm still single.. Someone asked me out yesterday, we'll call him JB.. but i'm not too sure I want to be with him because I like someone else.. and he seems like a player.. so I really don't know what to do. This kid C i've been talking to sounds like a really great guy and he's single also, so I don't know what may happen.

Okay so M has been pissing me off lately, pouting and crying over everything.. She needs to get the fuck over shit and I swear to god if she leaves the TV on one more time when i'm trying to do homework the fucking TV is going out the god damned window because I can't do homework with the motherfuckin' tv on. It's so god damned annoying and I specifically pointed it out 444995 times that I can't do shit with the TV on all fucking day long.. it's literally on 24/7. UGHHHHH shes literally been on my last NERVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats all for now before I get even more aggrivated.

♥ C
  • Current Music
    Random TV noise
  • Tags
    , ,
let me break the ice

i'm guessing the giants won the superbowl?

So I am assuming that information because a line of about 50 cars just drove by my dorm holding down their horns screaming "hell yeah G-MEN!!". Hmm, so I guess it was an interesting game that I had missed.

Alot of shit has happened this week, tons of homework.. I'm sick again.. and on Wednesday i hung out with C & Mac.. It was interesting.. Who knows what may happen..

Thursday I went to all my ridiculous classes, sociology 11-1215, criminal justice 230-345 and then abnormal psych 525-755.. After that I came back to the dorm and got ready for the club and left the dorm around 10 pm with my friend Noelle and we drove to the club.. We get there and decide to go to Tuxedos & we go in and there is absolutely no one there.. but low and behold who do I see? D.. So i'm like great, this is just great.. so we sit down at the table and talk for a while and stuff and around 11 we decide to leave there and go to Horizons which is across the street.. so meanwhile we are both wearing skimpy shirts and no jackets.. so we wait outside the club waiting to get in and finally get in and we had to pay $5 because it was past 11 but it was totally worth it because i saw D's roommate E there and I always thought he was sexier than D by a long shot anyway... So we go in and we're getting into the music and dancing and shit.. I liked that club a lot more than the clubs I used to go to in New Haven because it wasn't as crowded and there wasn't scummy looking people there.. So we're dancing and like 15 minutes in some guy comes up and starts dancing with me and then around 5 minutes after that someone comes up and dances with Noelle so we had a fun time.. but once i got out of there my body ached so bad and I couldn't hear anything. So that night I slept pretty well once I finally got back to the dorm..

Friday morning around 945-ish I started the trek home and it was raining & hailing.. it was an intense drive and it took forever because of all the ice and the rain.. it took me around an hour and a half to get home when it normally takes around a half hour.. so it was quite annoying.. I then hung out with Alyssa after i took a long ass nap and we went over my uncles house.. went to the mall and got more belly rings and stuff.. then we slept at southern.. nothing that exciting and the next morning i went home..

Saturday me & Alyssa got into a fight.. long story don't feel like typing it all out but it's all resolved now.. today I went to my uncle's house with my cousin Candace for the superbowl.. but i feel like absolute shit so I left early and drove back to school.. which is where I reside right now..

and Wednesday I have to drive all the way home to go to the doctor's to see what requirements I need to meet to get the gastric bypass surgery.. I hope I meet all the requirements because I want the surgery ASAP hopefully i'll be done with all the tests by June and then i'll be able to get it and be all set with everything.. Because yeah, that would be bangin.. oh yeah and then Wednesday i'm going to the mall to get clothes to wear to the club and then getting a fake ID downtown & coming back up to school later that night.. and Thursday i'm going to the club again, Alyssa is coming up and maybe Noelle will wanna go too. so who knows.

People in my dorm building are really annoying running up and down the halls screaming and shit.. Jesus Christ shut up already.

♥ C
let me break the ice

I Hear Your Voices, When You Call.. I Am Your Angel.

So, i'm sitting here talking to my friend C from facebook, he goes to my school & he seems really cool. We made plans to hang out tomorrow, I can't wait to see how that goes. It should be good to get my mind off of certain people and I really do think we'll connect because we like a lot of the same stuff.

I saw D once today and I didn't really feel much of anything, although I did smoke with him last night and we took a walk around the school and stuff. It was fun, ya know. But I really don't think there will ever be anything between us after what he did to me, I will never fully be able to trust him, ever. Yes, I did like him a lot but thats the past, and I need to focus on the future and the well being for myself.

I really hope that something can happen for me soon, I really do want a relationship, I truly think i'm ready to commit to a relationship again, I miss feeling loved and wanted and being able to share my thoughts and feelings with someone who will never judge me.

I've just been so down lately, I can't help it.

♥ C
let me break the ice

get loww loww lowww

Okay so this is going to be a short entry since i'm currently in the computer lab over on westside waiting for my Criminal Justice class to start.

bahh it sucks i'm bored and I hate this key board it hurts my fingers to type with its way to hard to push the buttons. god damn.

theres like a few people in here and im just chillen here listing to SKSK.dying of boredom and carpul tunnel from this keyboard.. but i guess i shall get going now because its 2:15 and thats when the other class before us gets out so i can actually get a seat i want to sit in.

♥ C