Tags: fast and furious

cass, can you not

(no subject)

In a move of mind-boggling Hollywoodness, there's now a Hobbs & Shaw (yes, that's the frakking title) trailer for a buddy spy semi-comedic movie where the both of them have to take on an Idris Elba that has seen Cipher's super-hacker-with-a-flying-base move and raises with a classic bio-enhanced superhuman (exoskeleton and/or biotech, it's not clear from the trailer).

I think the most significant clue about the movie is that the background song for the trailer is Why can't we be friends.

Seriously, the way this franchise turns antagonists into allies is relentless, and near Dragon Ball or Rurouni Kenshin levels, and perhaps part of what keeps it ticking, but it does demand quite a bit of suspension of moral disbelief. I mean, just a couple of movies ago, Shaw mailed a literal bomb to Brian and Mia's house, missing killing them and their kid by, like five minutes; true, the next movie he helped rescue Dom's son, and was forced-cute about it in an Uncanny Trench way, but that was in exchange for his brother, and besides... again, suspension of moral disbelief, at least when it comes to people who not just tried to kill you, but didn't take care not to kill kids.

The jury is still out on my prediction for FF9 — Singularity meets Space Cowboys meets the Death Star trench run — but I have to say that now that we have literal supervillains in that universe, I'm feeling better about it.
cass, can you not

I'm bored and/or prophetic

In Fast and Furious 9: Furious Night, Cipher performs on herself a destructive brain uploading process that injects her mind into the Deep Shadow Net, taking control of every advanced military device and facility in the Western world. She secretly builds and launches a miles-long space station housing her program and armed with advanced orbital and defense weapons. World governments not feeling like acceding to her demands, WWIII looms.

So Mr. Nobody, barely escaping an attack from a Seal strike team following a phony order planted by Cipher 2.0, warns Dom and the gang just in time for them to weave a narrow path through an entire platoon of urban combat systems in LA. During the next hour and a half or so they have to build from scratch a fleet of combat vehicles outside Cipher 2.0's control and travel through the world collecting favors until they can build a giant linear rail gun hooked into the Hoover Dam and, while the gang fights a hopeless stalling battle against Cipher 2.0's robots, shoot Dom and his pressurized car on the least defended end of Cipher's space station.

The climatic race is then Dom driving is car on the outside of a space station, car pressed again the surface by extra nitro rockets, so far and so fast that he can evade Cipher's defense weapons, reach the central core, and put inside it a mini-nuke they stole from a French arms dealer's submarine mansion twenty movie minutes before during the heist part. The bomb explodes, but Dom survives by diving through his back seat into the car's lead-reinforced trunk, which falls somewhere in the Pacific. They find him three days later on a beach, drinking from a coconut in the porch of the cabin he built for himself.