Tags: fantastic four

cass, can you not

Wherein the Joker disturbs me, but not as much as the Richards-Storm.

I haven't been following the "New 52" much, particularly on the Metropolis-Gotham axis (I don't care much for the Owls thing, I miss Oracle, and the new Superman doesn't feel right), and the Joker's new look... Nah. Definitely nah.

But, that said, there are one or two ideas in this week's "Death of the Family" (the Big Two's nostalgia compulsion is almost sickening, by the way) issues that feel definitely like good, high-grade Joker stuff. Not the way he talks (he's too preachy, I think), but the calling card thing... and the Arkham thing... Yeah. Those were good, subtle creepy.

I swear, if we got single-issue stories with one moment like that per issue instead of huge sprawling universe-changing multi-month storylines every frakking week, I'd read and love the hell out of it.

As an unrelated aside: if Sue doesn't divorce from Reed with extreme prejudice after what he's pulling in the current FF storyline, my (Watsonian) bet is that he has a few hypercomputers somewhere constantly running his psychohistory equations focused what he needs to do to keep her with him without him having to behave like an adult or anything like that. (Which I'd classify as spousal abuse, mind you.)

That, or Sue's as psychologically and emotionally damaged as he obviously is, and they get off in this eternal cycle of Reed being criminally reckless and her psychically (or telekinetically) beating the shit out of him.

And now I've got a couple of very depressing hopefully AU FF scenarios in my head. I need to learn to stop thinking while I'm ahead.
cass, can you not

FF #22

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On the other hand, the idea of REED RICHARDS running a private school for dangerously hyperintelligent kids continues to be terrifying and hilarious. It's like the Charles Xavier School of Telepath Ethics, the Anthony Stark Open Innovation Institute, or Bruce Wayne's Home and Counseling Center for Children Victims of Violence. I don't think I'll ever going to get over the fact that it's canon that Reed's parenting skills worry Galactus.
cass, can you not

FF #21, pg 13, no spoilers.

I can see why pretty much all the major empires in the galaxy consider Earth to be Reed's planet (Reed and Galactus basically have each other on speed dial, not to mention the Negative Zone, his alternates' habits of taking over everything, his Celestials-killing son and post-hypergenius daughter, Johnny Storm-who-once-ruled-the-Negative-Zone-for-a-while, Sue's habit of collecting kingdoms, and so on and so forth), but that could make for some funny moments when Reed Richards has to explain to the United Nations that, due to some cultural differences and most civilizations' assumptions about people with ultimate nullifers and pocket universes in their home offices, the galaxy is under the impression that he owns Earth (not that they think he's doing a very good job of keeping it organized, what with hyperpowered megalomaniacs, the Phoenix, the way the Infinity Gauntlet keeps being unlost, and so on, but what can you expect of scientists).

I just want be there when Doom hears that, as far as most of the universe is concerned, he's "that guy who keeps pestering Reed Richards, I think?"
cass, can you not

A Council of Dooms, by the way, would be an impossibility

I'm kind of disappointed with Hickman's FF #8. I mean, it's not bad, but you'd think that a Doom-led collection of hypersmart villains would be more... creative in their approach (although Doom's rather amusing physicality was probably deliberate).

That said, and I have to ask you to excuse my descent into shallowness, Sue Storm getting pissed off hits all kind of hotness spots. I wonder if that might explain part of Reed's general missing-the-point-ness – his hindbrain keeps getting rewarded every time he messes up.
cass, can you not

Based on last week's comics...

A few ways in which (different versions of) Reed Richards endanger universes (no spoilers for anything recent):

  • Becoming evil

  • Trying to fix everything

  • Trying to fix everything everywhere

  • Hands-off parenting

Note that when your daughter has a Richards-level intellect and your son has potentially godlike reality-altering powers, hands-off parenting is arguably the most dangerous item in this list.