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The United States Census is a decennial census used by the US Government to disguise the fact that, as a side effect of their well-known secret tracking satellite network, they already know how many people there are in every city, building, and janitor closet in the country[*].

[*] Not including residents of shielded laboratory complexes, lost underground cities, time-shifted tesseracts, etc.

(It's an often-mentioned urban myth that Dr. Savage makes a FOIA request for his own whereabouts every April 1st, just to remind them that for some unknown reason the tracking satellite network cannot track him. While this latter fact is true, Dr. Savage lacks the inclination for pranks of this nature. This rumor seems to have originated in 1983, when Dr. Savage made a request to the NSA to digitalize all photographs in the National Historical Records taken shortly before or after 1908 and apply image search algorithms to identify himself, claiming that his own computing resources, while superior to those available to the NSA, were engaged on something he called "chronal transport calculations." Shortly afterward, one of Dr. Savage's aides presented a sizeable donation to the Soviet Union to be dedicated to agricultural developments in the Tunguska region, together with a curt and still unexplained handwritten note consisting of the word "Sorry.")

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( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
droolfangrrl
Apr. 1st, 2010 04:18 am (UTC)
hm...

Shame that actually working for the census isn't as interesting as this.
__marcelo
Apr. 1st, 2010 05:54 am (UTC)
I think most jobs aren't as interesting as we think they could be; I live in perpetual hope that, somehow, they can be made to be.
genre_savvy
Apr. 1st, 2010 03:47 pm (UTC)
It's an often-mentioned urban myth that Dr. Savage makes a FOIA request for his own whereabouts every April 1st, just to remind them that for some unknown reason the tracking satellite network cannot track him.

I started giggling there. Because I'm sure that, given a few minutes to think about it, I can come up with at least a dozen DC characters who would do that.

"Sorry."

And then I cracked right the hell up. Oh, man. Can't breathe!
__marcelo
Apr. 1st, 2010 03:49 pm (UTC)
:D

I can come up with at least a dozen DC characters who would do that.

So true!
mymatedave
Apr. 1st, 2010 03:50 pm (UTC)
Really liking these.
__marcelo
Apr. 1st, 2010 03:53 pm (UTC)
Thanks!
rubynye
Apr. 1st, 2010 05:28 pm (UTC)
Oh, I love your brain, I really do.
__marcelo
Apr. 1st, 2010 06:05 pm (UTC)
:D
razorsmile
Apr. 11th, 2010 12:12 am (UTC)
I should not be staring this fixedly (at my phone) or giggling this inappropriately (at work) -- and yet, here we are!
__marcelo
Apr. 11th, 2010 12:15 am (UTC)
Well, if work can be a drag during your off-work hours, turnabout is fair play. Glad you liked it.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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cass, can you not
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