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Fic: Amok (ST:TOS, PG13)

This isn't what I should be doing. Not not_sally's fault.

Title: Amok
Fandom: ST:TOS (AU, with any luck)
Rating: PG13 or higher, depending on how much you read between the lines.
Summary: It's a grim joke between crew members. Kirk doesn't find it funny at all.
Notes: This will make a tiny bit more sense if you have seen or heard about the Amok Time ST:TOS episode.

Captain's log. Stardate... Kirk paused the recording device. He had a very clear mental picture of the chain of events that he had to report. Clearer, in fact, than what had actually happened. Spock had guaranteed that it would prevent casual telepathic scans from digging up those memories, and in all those years, as in with many other things, his First Officer had yet to be proven wrong.

But below the narrative Spock had planted on his mind, Kirk could still remember the security officer's eyes. All of their eyes. They usually looked at him right before dying, as if his betrayal hurt them more than the hands choking the life out of them.

He never picked good people as security officers, and he always chose the worst of them during away missions. It was the most he could do to protect his soul. Needless to say, Spock found the procedure illogical.

But not more illogical, and no less necessary, than what Spock had found about himself when he thought he had killed his friend and Captain. Shame, shock... and a pleasure that shook him out of his pon farr. It was not unheard out among Vulcans, it seemed. Just another of the deeply hidden secrets behind their iron discipline of logic and the psychological and social compulsion of the pon farr.

Kirk hadn't asked his friend how many vulcans went on killing even in this 'civilized' era. They had already too many secrets between the two of them. Spock's carefully managed compulsions as well as his own, not always as discrete. More than once it had fallen to Spock's skills, his telepathic abilities not the least among them, to smooth over an incident that could have damaged his own career or, infinitely worse, the Federation.

Better this way. The Federation needed the Enterprise. The Enterprise needed him. He needed Spock. And Spock needed.

Deep in his gut, he could feel the cold logic of it all.



( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 3rd, 2009 09:32 am (UTC)
This is great.

And it plays into my AU - Batman:Love Machine, where Bruce comes to believe that sexual dysfuntion = crime. Maybe my Bruce can read this story and have his sudden realization that sexual repression causes serial murder?
Jun. 3rd, 2009 09:43 am (UTC)
Oh... God, now I'm scared.
Jun. 3rd, 2009 11:10 am (UTC)
Auuuuuuuuuuugh AUGH AUGH

As usual, you are AMAZING.
Jun. 3rd, 2009 11:24 am (UTC)
*dances on his chair* Thanks so much!
Jun. 3rd, 2009 04:11 pm (UTC)
Deep in his gut, he could feel the cold logic of it all.

Me too. *eep* Nicely done.
Jun. 3rd, 2009 04:23 pm (UTC)
Re: amok
Jun. 3rd, 2009 04:35 pm (UTC)
Gaaah! dkjhdsjk Kirk!
Jun. 3rd, 2009 09:16 pm (UTC)
a tentative *wins*?
Jun. 3rd, 2009 10:21 pm (UTC)
I sort of tried for a more coherent comment, but you've caught me in finals so that's what came out.
Jun. 3rd, 2009 05:25 pm (UTC)

Oh no you didn't.

Oh NO you didn't.

You're lucky I adore you.
Jun. 3rd, 2009 09:16 pm (UTC)
You're lucky I adore you.

For more than one reason.
Jun. 3rd, 2009 05:45 pm (UTC)

Oh, God, that's horrible. Really, really horrible. But still very compelling and well-written.

It explains Vulcan xenophobia quite well. And I shudder to think of what Spock needs to cover up for Kirk.
Jun. 3rd, 2009 09:16 pm (UTC)
And I shudder to think of what Spock needs to cover up for Kirk.

In some way, that side of it scared me the most.
Jun. 4th, 2009 12:27 am (UTC)
Kirk's daring, ruthlessness, charisma, narcissism, independence, need for attention, disregard of rules and convention...and something so horrible that covering it up requires complicity in the serial murder of his own crewmen. Yeah, that paints a bad, bad picture.
Jun. 4th, 2009 02:04 am (UTC)
Yes. You put it better than I could.
Jun. 10th, 2009 11:58 pm (UTC)
Kirk has been commiting redshirt-genocide this whole time? Yikes. It all makes sense now.
Jun. 11th, 2009 02:01 am (UTC)
I thought that, too. Not even the Borg are so callous with their drones.
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )


cass, can you not

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