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Disregarding barriers of fandom, location, plot style, general tone and timelines, I have just realized what the universe is so sorely lacking: a Gotham/New York mashup where both Nero Wolfe and Batman coexist. Because both of them need the competition, dammit. Because a Gotham narrated by Archie would be a thing of utter beauty.

And because I want a long, flirty Archie/Barbara story so much I could almost dare go googling for it. (That's the main reason, I confess. What can I say?)

This might be one of those one-person fandoms I find myself in from time to time, but... The intellectual competition between Wolfe and Batman! Archie running around Gotham! Jim Gordon having to deal with *two* drama queen detectives with overdeveloped egos! Fritz and Alfred's cabal of insanely good cooking!

In a rational universe somebody would have already written the obvious epic stories: "Nero Wolfe's Last Move" (when he moves to Gotham, why, how, and their acquisition of the Clocktower). "Not Enough Murderers" (who killed Rupert Thorne?). "An Identity Problem" (the Murderer storyline, but this time Bruce is saved by Wolfe, pretty much against his will). "Six Murders Before Breakfast" (Harvey Dent is a damned good lawyer, but what he needed was a good detective, so he hired the world's second best. Wolfe... isn't pleased by that observation.) "Flowers for Afternoon" (In a murder involving a rare flower, only three people have enough expertise in them: Batman, Ivy, and Wolfe. Two of them are detectives... and the other is one of the detective's clients).

Things I know for certain: Wolfe and Bruce met -briefly or not- in the past. To pretend that Wolfe doesn't know Batman's secret ID would be beneath both of them. Archie/Dick/Barbara is the Triangle Of Much, Much Flirting, specially if we are talking toonverse here. Bruce has always entered the Clocktower as himself, never as Batman... or as Bruce Wayne. Not that they are friendly as such -gods, no- but it's also true that Bruce loaned him Alfred that time Fritz had to travel for mumblemumble. That's probably why Wolfe really saved him in "An Identity Problem," because a) Archie's observation about the Wayne billions came at a moment when Wolfe had enough money anyway, b) Wolfe knew damn well that Bruce could escape jail and/or solve the case himself if he cared enough to, and Wolfe isn't in the business of saving people from themselves.

Except that time when Archie killed the Joker for what he did to Barbara. But how he did it, how Batman and Gordon reacted, and how Wolfe kept him out of jail despite they knowing that he did it, are matters for another story.

Comments

( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
wabbitseason
Nov. 19th, 2006 03:50 am (UTC)
And now you want me either a) wanting the fic b) rereading the books. I'm presume it's book Nero Wolfe as opposed to the A&E version?
milkshake_b
Nov. 20th, 2006 01:26 am (UTC)
The A&E version is one of the tightest book adaptions I've ever seen done, so....
__marcelo
Nov. 20th, 2006 01:31 am (UTC)
I've only read the books so far, so that's what I had in mind. But I've heard the series is great.
tigerbright
Nov. 20th, 2006 02:13 am (UTC)
The series is fantastic, especially Archie.
marag
Nov. 19th, 2006 03:52 am (UTC)
Have I ever mentioned how very much I love your brain? Can I bake it cookies or something? 'Cause this post is a thing of beauty.

I want these fics. Badly.

Unfortunately, I don't know Nero or Archie anywhere near well enough to write them. ::sniff:: Besides, I have more than enough crack-addled crossovers in the works!

::stares at Batman/CSI, DW/Atlantis, X-Men/House, DCU/Smallville fics::
__marcelo
Nov. 20th, 2006 01:34 am (UTC)
::stares at Batman/CSI, DW/Atlantis, X-Men/House, DCU/Smallville fics::

You are the queen of crack-addled crossovers - and after reading your stories, they actually make lots of sense! (I'd say "more sense than canon," but that's not a very hard thing to do in most of those fandoms...)
marag
Nov. 20th, 2006 01:56 am (UTC)
::snicker:: Yeah, more sense than canon isn't exactly a big deal when you're dealing with, say, the DCU. It wouldn't take more than a dozen or so typing monkeys to make more sense than DC canon!

I thank you for the title of queen of crack-addled crossovers, however, and I shall endeavor to live up to it.
rubynye
Nov. 19th, 2006 04:20 am (UTC)
It's a fandom of at least two: both you and my roommate would ADORE this.

You make me want to be a better writer, because I want to write it for you two. You had me at: a Gotham narrated by Archie would be a thing of utter beauty. because yes, it so would.
__marcelo
Nov. 20th, 2006 01:36 am (UTC)
If I had my way, I'd also send him to Metropolis now and then. Pre-marriage Archie/Lois (toonverse comes to mind here)... yay.
tigerbright
Nov. 19th, 2006 12:37 pm (UTC)
Oh my. WANT. :)

(Here via my roommate rubynye.)
__marcelo
Nov. 20th, 2006 01:37 am (UTC)
Hi! Nice to meet you :).
thefourthvine
Nov. 19th, 2006 02:13 pm (UTC)
*wistful*

Now I want to read that. Like, a lot. This is very unfair.
__marcelo
Nov. 20th, 2006 01:39 am (UTC)
I know. I thought capitalism meant people came up with things for us to want before we wanted them... (there's an observation in there about current copyright rules being sub-optimal in the Pareto sense, but I need to go to sleep and besides everybody has already said the same thing).
rydra_wong
Nov. 19th, 2006 02:54 pm (UTC)
See, I don't know the DCU well enough to appreciate this fully ... but I'd still read it.

(You know Lily Rowan is either a covert superhero, or the secret patron of one, right? And Lily/Barbara is the femslash OTP of this 'verse.)
__marcelo
Nov. 20th, 2006 01:42 am (UTC)
Hee! Miss Rowan backing up a superhero or two would *rule*. And Lily/Barbara... goodness, yes. Awesome idea.
rydra_wong
Nov. 20th, 2006 11:28 am (UTC)
Miss Rowan backing up a superhero or two would *rule*.

And, on reflection, I feel she would prefer this to actual superhero-ing herself, as that would require far too much effort.

The Lily/Barbara is just inevitable.
milkshake_b
Nov. 20th, 2006 01:26 am (UTC)
Tragically, I know from experience that writing Nero Wolfe fic is hard.
__marcelo
Nov. 20th, 2006 01:45 am (UTC)
*nods* I assumed it would be.

Not that it won't stop me from some day trying and making a mess in public :).
dessieoctavia
Dec. 1st, 2007 06:38 am (UTC)
If you, or someone, wrote these, I would be very happy.
__marcelo
Dec. 1st, 2007 06:42 am (UTC)
I wish I could, but I think the Wolfe novels are beyond my ficcing range so far. I'm not losing hope somebody will at some point.
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )

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