__marcelo (__marcelo) wrote,
__marcelo
__marcelo

Things I consider *entirely* for my own fun

Disregarding barriers of fandom, location, plot style, general tone and timelines, I have just realized what the universe is so sorely lacking: a Gotham/New York mashup where both Nero Wolfe and Batman coexist. Because both of them need the competition, dammit. Because a Gotham narrated by Archie would be a thing of utter beauty.

And because I want a long, flirty Archie/Barbara story so much I could almost dare go googling for it. (That's the main reason, I confess. What can I say?)

This might be one of those one-person fandoms I find myself in from time to time, but... The intellectual competition between Wolfe and Batman! Archie running around Gotham! Jim Gordon having to deal with *two* drama queen detectives with overdeveloped egos! Fritz and Alfred's cabal of insanely good cooking!

In a rational universe somebody would have already written the obvious epic stories: "Nero Wolfe's Last Move" (when he moves to Gotham, why, how, and their acquisition of the Clocktower). "Not Enough Murderers" (who killed Rupert Thorne?). "An Identity Problem" (the Murderer storyline, but this time Bruce is saved by Wolfe, pretty much against his will). "Six Murders Before Breakfast" (Harvey Dent is a damned good lawyer, but what he needed was a good detective, so he hired the world's second best. Wolfe... isn't pleased by that observation.) "Flowers for Afternoon" (In a murder involving a rare flower, only three people have enough expertise in them: Batman, Ivy, and Wolfe. Two of them are detectives... and the other is one of the detective's clients).

Things I know for certain: Wolfe and Bruce met -briefly or not- in the past. To pretend that Wolfe doesn't know Batman's secret ID would be beneath both of them. Archie/Dick/Barbara is the Triangle Of Much, Much Flirting, specially if we are talking toonverse here. Bruce has always entered the Clocktower as himself, never as Batman... or as Bruce Wayne. Not that they are friendly as such -gods, no- but it's also true that Bruce loaned him Alfred that time Fritz had to travel for mumblemumble. That's probably why Wolfe really saved him in "An Identity Problem," because a) Archie's observation about the Wayne billions came at a moment when Wolfe had enough money anyway, b) Wolfe knew damn well that Bruce could escape jail and/or solve the case himself if he cared enough to, and Wolfe isn't in the business of saving people from themselves.

Except that time when Archie killed the Joker for what he did to Barbara. But how he did it, how Batman and Gordon reacted, and how Wolfe kept him out of jail despite they knowing that he did it, are matters for another story.
Tags: nero wolfe, stuff i make up, things that should exist
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