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Torchwood. So.

The most incompetent, dysfunctional M.I.B.-wannabes in the multiverse, or the most incompetent, dysfunctional M.I.B.-wannabes in the multiverse?

Without having seen a single Doctor Who ep in my entire life (I will, I will, I promise - I can't even keep up with the fandoms I have now)... I have a theory. It has exactly zero percent chance of being true, but when has that ever stopped me?

A PG13, short theory that spoils everything up to Ep 3 and then totally ignores it.


She should have seen it earlier.

"C'mon, Gwen. You know that gun won't kill me."

"I know it won't, you bastard... sodding... alien."

"Took you a bit to figure out that the indestructible guy that doesn't sleep is an alien, didn't it?"

"Don't make fun of me!"

"I'm not making fun of you. I'm an alien, yes. So what? Mankind needs all the help they can get. The twenty-first century is"

"When everything changes. I heard you the first twenty times, Jack. But I just figured out what you are doing. You aren't getting mankind ready for what's coming. You keep everything secret! You are keeping us from being ready!"

"And you are still doing that 'you' thing. We are, Gwen. You think I'm the only one in Torchwood who isn't from around here?"

"Oh my god..."

"Everybody here is from somewhere else."

"No..."

"Including you."

"No!"

"Chemical amnesia isn't reversible in humans, Gwen."

"No! I... I..."

"Yes."

"I remember."

"Yes."

.finis.


ETA: Just saw Ep. 4. Worst. "Team". Ever. But it was a blast to watch, even if the end let me wondering what the *hell*.

Comments

( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
brown_betty
Nov. 12th, 2006 12:33 am (UTC)
ahaahaa!

Yes. They're just so completely incompetant aren't they? And the writing's a bit unsubltle. But on the other hand, Episode 4 features SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER which is awesome enough for me to forgive a lot.
__marcelo
Nov. 12th, 2006 12:44 am (UTC)
*goes off to watch it, on account of being easily influenced*
__marcelo
Nov. 12th, 2006 01:38 am (UTC)
*ahahahahaha* Oh, god. SPOILER fighting SPOILER was awesome on its own way, and can this "team" be more of a fuck-up... I mean. *That*. *There*. All That Time. And Jack channeling Picard, and the thing, and then the *end*, which was... *wibbles*.

Everybody being aliens, at this point, would be the *neat* solution.
brown_betty
Nov. 12th, 2006 01:40 am (UTC)
While covered in SPOILER and wearing chrome plated SPOILER!
__marcelo
Nov. 12th, 2006 01:48 am (UTC)
And then the SPOILER girl at the end with the red SPOILER around her head!!! Just in case you didn't catch the drift!

This show is making me use a disturbingly high number of exclamation points.
comixologist
Nov. 12th, 2006 03:55 am (UTC)
YAY TORCHWOOD. Yes, it's bad. And yes, I love Ianto. He is my favoritest ever.

And if you haven't seen any Doctor Who, you won't understand why Jack is SO DESERVING of his own spinoff (however hilarious it may be).

... I have all the Jack episodes. I could, you know. Share them. If you wanted.
__marcelo
Nov. 12th, 2006 09:50 am (UTC)
I... can't really say 'no'. Ever. Just when I'll be able to watch them, of course, is a matter best left to cosmologists and people with time machines.
razorsmile
Nov. 13th, 2006 04:40 am (UTC)
Blessed be Youtube, for it keeps me out of bittorrent jail.
Both the Eccleston and Tennant Doctor Who seasons (2005 and 2006 respectively) are on youtube.

Amen.
__marcelo
Nov. 13th, 2006 09:40 am (UTC)
Re: Blessed be Youtube, for it keeps me out of bittorrent jail.
Cool! Now I only have to find the time to watch them before the BBC pulls a Comedy Central on them.
milkshake_b
Nov. 13th, 2006 07:34 am (UTC)
Say yes, say yes!

I admit this is mostly because we desperately need company in the brigades of, "...*headscritch* Jack? Why aren't you a cheerful manho anymore?"
comixologist
Nov. 13th, 2006 02:43 pm (UTC)
Pffft, he's not a cheerful manho anymore because his DOCTOR is missing! Poor Jack, how is he supposed to satisfy himself with only a hand? He had to go and get attached to that one, but nooooooo, he couldn't drag HIM into the TARDIS along with Rose, noooo.

In the Doctor's defense, he didn't necessarily know that Jack was in a position to BE hopping around in the TARDIS - sorry 'bout that, Jack, my goodness!

In the meantime, he has to content himself with Ianto. And Gwen. And probably Owen, too. And Tosh, 'cause, well, why not? And anybody else he just happens to meet on the street.

.... But especially Ianto. ::cough::

No, I wasn't full of glee about what happened in 104, why? ;D
jamjar
Nov. 12th, 2006 10:49 am (UTC)
Well, not exactly alien, but not exactly *not*.

Jack really isn't from around here.
__marcelo
Nov. 12th, 2006 11:06 am (UTC)
So I gathered, but lacking Doctor Who background, it's all new to me...
razorsmile
Nov. 13th, 2006 04:38 am (UTC)
Well, he is from around "here", he's just not from around ... now, if you catch my drift.
milkshake_b
Nov. 13th, 2006 07:35 am (UTC)
I have a strange yearning for him to be from Iowa.
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )

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