April 14th, 2017

cass, can you not

The Fate of the Furious

To complain that this movie lacks logic, believable character arcs, recognizable physics, dialogue even remotely related to what a human being not under the effect of psychoactive compounds would say, or an engaging plot would, I've been telling myself all day, a category error.

It doesn't even try to be recognizably different from the last few movies. Every FF movie is actually closer to the one before than that one was to the one before to it, a sequence that will eventually converge to a platonic, ideal Fast and Furious movie that will be shown for a few months every year, nobody recognizing or caring that it's the same one down to the last absolutely unnecessary car stunt.

It is what it is, like a Bond movie is what it is. I'm sure movie producers are currently trying to figure out both when Vin Diesel will get tired of the sound of the money trucks backing down his driveway, and how long it'll be tasteful to wait before they reboot the series.

Anyway. I went, I watched, I had the vague pseudofun I expected to have.