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Inferiority Complex - Cassandra, PG13

Fandom: DC Comics
Title: Trébuchet
Characters: Cassandra, Riddler
Rating: PG13
Prompt: #6, Inferiority Complex
Word Count: Almost four hundred words.
Spoilers: None
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: Don't own.
A/N: None.


The Riddler rubbed his temples in frustration.

"Look, kid, can't you call Batman for backup?"

Batgirl shook her head and remained where she was. "He is away."

She couldn't attack the Riddler directly, as there were hostages visible thorough some sort of video system, but the Riddler's body language told her that the hostages weren't in immediate danger. The Riddler just wanted somebody to work on his puzzles.

The puzzles he had written in green ink in the piece of paper she was holding in one hand.

Riddler put a hand under his chin, thinking. "I know! You could ask that artificial intelligence you are all linked to, the Oracle, to read the puzzle to you. What do you think?"

Batgirl shook her head again and signaled to her right ear. Riddler snapped his fingers. "Right, the jamming devices I installed so Batman couldn't get one of you to rescue the hostages while he was in here. And I assume that if I disconnect the devices you will just get Oracle to route somebody to save the hostages and then you will kick the crap out of me."

Batgirl shrugged.

"I'll be damned! I can't believe he, the only person in Gotham besides me with a half-decent mind, works with somebody who can't even read!" Despite herself, Batgirl hunched a little. Few people could hurt her... physically, but some punches were impossible to avoid even for her.

Riddler noticed at once. "I mean," he stammered, "it's obvious that you have plenty of skills, of course, you are a most impressive young girl, it's not your fault that..." Batgirl crossed her arms in annoyance, making him stop.

"Hey, listen to this. I can't read you the puzzle, that'd be obviously against the rules, but what if I taught you enough so you could read a puzzle, and I write one that doesn't assume any references you haven't read? I know it's not the ideal arrangement for either of us, but at least we'd both get a way out of this impasse. What do you say?"

She accepted.

Batman found them hours later, still working on her basic vocabulary.

.finis.

Comments

( 33 comments — Leave a comment )
chevauchee
Jul. 9th, 2006 12:20 am (UTC)
Oh Eddie. You really can't cope with dastardly plans without puzzles.
__marcelo
Jul. 9th, 2006 08:34 pm (UTC)
Oh Eddie. You really can't cope with dastardly plans without puzzles.

Hehehe. No, he can't.
jarodrussell
Jul. 9th, 2006 12:28 am (UTC)
Brilliant! Fucking brilliant!
__marcelo
Jul. 9th, 2006 08:37 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Actually, I was thinking about Eddie -and in those terms- because of your recent fic about him.
odditycollector
Jul. 9th, 2006 12:33 am (UTC)
Ahahaha! Perfect.

(*imagines the Bat-facepalm*)
__marcelo
Jul. 9th, 2006 08:42 pm (UTC)
(*imagines the Bat-facepalm*) Hehehe. And probably Riddler will be badmouthing him all the way to Arkham about how he has neglected Cass'education.
(no subject) - liquidengineer0 - Mar. 29th, 2008 03:44 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - __marcelo - Mar. 29th, 2008 12:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
razorsmile
Jul. 9th, 2006 12:43 am (UTC)
Bwahahahahaha!
__marcelo
Jul. 9th, 2006 08:44 pm (UTC)
*wins*
katarik
Jul. 9th, 2006 12:45 am (UTC)
BRILLIANT.

<3

I just... no, <3 says it best, I think.
__marcelo
Jul. 9th, 2006 09:11 pm (UTC)
:D :D :D Thanks!
arch_schatten
Jul. 9th, 2006 01:05 am (UTC)
*Gleeeeee* Heya Eddie!! Awww, God, how wrong is it that Edie is teaching her to read and Bruce and Babs have not? Wrong-o, that's what it is. Even if it's canon, it seems implausible to me. Reading is basic skill for Batman. He wouldn't suck so much. Maybe he's not that grea a father figure, but he's a better mentor than that, DC! Damn you, canon.

Still, this is funny and awesome and I adore Eddie. Woo!
__marcelo
Jul. 9th, 2006 09:13 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I know what you mean. He has Robins do an insane amount of theoretical training (criminology, forensics, languages, biology...), but not Cass. Makes no sense at all!
caiusmajor
Jul. 9th, 2006 01:21 am (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHA. Clearly the perfect solution to Cass's illiteracy. :D
__marcelo
Jul. 9th, 2006 09:14 pm (UTC)
*g* Well, somebody has to.
brown_betty
Jul. 9th, 2006 01:40 am (UTC)
Bweeeheehee! Oh, man. I like to think Cass would visit him in Arkham, and bring picture books. And then he would sulk, because there were no riddles in them.
jarodrussell
Jul. 9th, 2006 03:31 am (UTC)
She'd probably bring him the daily Cryptoquote or Jumble.
(no subject) - __marcelo - Jul. 9th, 2006 09:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
amarin_rose
Jul. 10th, 2006 09:34 am (UTC)
*snorfle* Oh, this is so very toonverse. Or at least Eddie from Cat Tales.
__marcelo
Jul. 10th, 2006 01:10 pm (UTC)
*g* My inner Eddie, I guess, has been much influenced by them.
(no subject) - liquidengineer0 - Mar. 29th, 2008 03:45 am (UTC) - Expand
jij
Jul. 10th, 2006 03:49 pm (UTC)
Oh, what a lovely Eddie! He's perfect, and so is Cassie. I can just see his exasperation--"this is no fun if you can't answer the riddles!"
__marcelo
Jul. 12th, 2006 03:40 am (UTC)
*hahaha* Thanks!
batfan_sarah
Jul. 17th, 2006 12:13 am (UTC)
awwww, that's just so cute. see, i always thought that eddie, harley, and selina (who has proven my point now) are actually not bad people one on one - they're just kinda crazy sometimes.

i am totally grinning like an idiot at this one. ^_^
__marcelo
Jul. 17th, 2006 02:06 am (UTC)
:D Glad you liked it! I agree with you, some of the Gotham rogues feel less evil than the rest. Just - poorly adjusted, that's all.

The same thing could be said about Bruce, of course.
dessieoctavia
Feb. 19th, 2008 06:51 am (UTC)
LOL! This is delightful. And I love how Riddler assumes Oracle is an "artificial intelligence".
__marcelo
Feb. 19th, 2008 10:52 pm (UTC)
:D Back in the time, Oracle's very existence was a rumor. That was really cool.
(no subject) - evercharmer - Feb. 11th, 2010 04:09 am (UTC) - Expand
__marcelo
Feb. 12th, 2010 12:05 am (UTC)
True. As obsessive compulsions in Gotham go, his isn't one of the bad one.
(no subject) - evercharmer - Feb. 13th, 2010 04:52 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - __marcelo - Feb. 13th, 2010 01:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - evercharmer - Feb. 13th, 2010 04:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
( 33 comments — Leave a comment )

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