__marcelo (__marcelo) wrote,

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Half an hour ago, I was almost mugged by muppets

No, *really*. As in dark corner of the city, "give me all your money or I cut you", etc.

For context: My girlfriend lives in Once, a lively if dangerous neighbordhood of Buenos Aires (plenty of inmigrants, and the local scum who preys and abuses them). It's not an slum by any means -it's as metropolitan as it gets- but it's not a *nice* metropolitan area. But in two years of dinners with my GF and her mother, I had never had problems while walking to Corrientes Av. to get a cab, so I took the same route today.

On the freaking corner of my girlfriend's home there were kids, a boy and a girl of fifteen, maybe sixteen, and a guy of about twenty just goofing around there. I'm a short guy - the kids were a little smaller than me, and the guy was about a head and a half taller). With hindsight perhaps I should have suspected something, but poor kids searching through trash and just running around at night aren't, sadly, unheard of in Buenos Aires. As I tried to turn the corner, the kids (*muppets*) crowd me against the corner and start talking very fast demanding first a coin and half a second later -while I'm still in 'WTF' mode- everything or they'd cut me.

I should had. Because, really, while Once isn't the worst part of town, it was still well in the realm of possibilities for the place and time of day.

I stood very still, scared shitless, and asked them to show me the knife, givemethemoneyshowmetheknifegivemethemoney, we three fastalking (and, now I realize, scared all of us) and the kid started trying to put his hand on my left pocket, where I carry my Palm Pilot. It's not a new one, or a good one, but, fuck, I'm attached (did I say that this isn't a post about one of my finest moments?). And then the girl did some fast movement with one of her hands - she had both on her back, she flashed one to her side and then back, as if showing me her knife.

I thought I saw she had *shit*. I freaked out and ---again, not my finest moment--- I took her by the neck and showed her back as I threw some *very* girlie pseudopunches to the boy. *They* freaked out then.

The twentysomething started walking towards me. The boy threatened me with, I swear, an *old umbrella he got from the trash*. As I was trotting away (too much adrenaline to run) the girl run to the trash, took a bottle, broke it against the floor while running (*damn* impressive, that) and threw it at my face. I raised my arm and it hit here (no cuts, or even a bruise, luckly) and then trotted the fuck harder for five meters. Then I just walked on, while those three just stood on the corner muttering god knows what. Three minutes later I was on a cab going home.

Moral: I was stupid. If they hadn't been the sorriest group of muggers in South America, I could have died.

But then, I was almost mugged by two *muppets* with stuff they lifted from the *trash*.

Freaking city.
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