alicia collision. (__liliaceae) wrote,
alicia collision.

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Lately, all I do is complain. Either I'm complaining about my friends, my lack of friends, or my ridiculous love life. I thought flying down to Savannah might change something, or even help, but all I got out of it were some new clothes and tonsillitis, which I am going to the doctor's for in a half an hour.
Recently, I have realized that I just bore everyone, even myself. Most of my break has been spent with me at home, watching my mom's TiVoed television series, waiting around for something to happen. Phone calls are a rarity, and when I do get them, they're either from my mom, my dad, or Sean. The only friend I really have left is Renee, but she moved to Columbia when school started, so she's not so close anymore. I usually have to beg Sean to come over when I've been sick, and even more so when I'm not. When I complain, all I hear are the empty, "I would have been there in a second," from other boys who just say things to sound better. It temporarily eases my hurt. Only temporarily. But sooner or later, those who feign interest in me find someone or something else more engaging than me and I never really hear from them again.
There's no point in me wishing to go back to school, because I have less friends there than I do here at home. There's less to do and colder weather, which leads me to attaching myself to Sean and his friends until the summer, which I will devote to a job so I don't have to worry about free time and friends.

This is basically what I've become.
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