(no subject)

You know, I used to admire you guys. Looked up to you. Possibly even idolized you. But, lately, when I look back on it, I honestly cannot find reason enough to do so. Now, I won't say that the short time I spent with you was always a bad time, but it certainly wasn't always good. You pinpointed my vision toward your little group so that everyone outside of it seemed inferior and inadequate for me to love, ever.

I always thought that you were taking me down the right road. The "Fun" road. One that would make me feel like something, rather than be something. And, nowadays, I can't see why I ever wanted that in the first place. Now, instead of idolizing, I simply pity your souls.

I wish you could see what wonderful lives you're wasting. Drugs, alcohol, it's all a dead-end road, whether you want to admit it or not. And even if it weren't for my new Christian beliefs, I would feel the same way. I can only thank God that I made it out of your vicious cycle alive. It sucks what you guys are doing. Your relationships with eachother are co-dependent and your lives are based upon a feeling. A high. On tearing other people down, to make yourselves seem superior. The "love" you pour out on a select few, and on eachother, is based upon a feeling. And, that, my friends, isn't true love. Feelings are a rollercoaster ride, therefore your "love" can change from minute to minute.

I will always love you guys, despite the hurt that you've caused in my life, and the lives of others. You are constantly in my prayers, and I hope that one day I will be able to see you in Heaven.
You're great people, but I can't continue to sit back and watch you throw your lives away. If you ever go into rehab, if you ever repent, if you ever find yourself back in the light of everything that's good, give me a call.
I'll be waiting.

I'm making a new livejournal, and if you want to know it, leave me a comment and I'll add you.
  • Current Music
    something corporate


I know most of you don't approve of my going to church, and believing in God.
Or maybe it just annoys you or something.
But I've found something solid to set my feet in, and I've never been this happy.
Today I was baptized.
Today was the first time I've ever felt love.
Overflowing, and consuming me.
So I don't know about you guys, but I think it's the coolest thing in the world that my friends get excited about baptism, and not worldy things.
I belong.
I am Christ's.

  • Current Mood
    ecstatic ecstatic

The blood of Jesus can wash your pain away.


I don't care what you say.
He saved me.
& that's all that matters to me.
Oh you of little faith, can't you see?
Your Father loves you.

Searching for more than mere lies disguised as dogma, tired eyes tend to wander, seek the light.
Create in me a sense of awe that sees Your beauty, let Your splendor flash with blinding light.
Standing tall all the aspen trees drink water as the rain falls down like laughter from the sky.

Gently lifting hands to heaven,
softened by the sweetest hush,
a Father sings over his children,
loving them so very much.
More than words could warrant,
deeper than the darkest blue,
more than sacrifice could merit,
Lord, I give my heart to You.

Lord, search my heart,
create in me something clean.
You see flowers in these weeds.

  • Current Music
    burn for you - tobymac