June 15th, 2009

fractal skull

The sun is trying to kill me!

I have known of the Cursed Day Star's intent for quite some time. Not that it was difficult to determine, I mean what other purpose could a fiery orb of death have? Yes it *pretends* to be a giver of live but I know of it's true intent!

For the past several years I have employed a strategy for avoiding its cancerous burning glare. Namely, I stay indoors as much as possible. Well the yellow sphere of pain has developed a tactic to thwart my cunning evasions. It has been launching an attack on my sinuses using Mother Nature as its catspaw!

By focusing its searing glare for a longer duration with increased intensity the homicidal mass of incandescent gas has been encouraging the growth of pollen spewing plants and trees. (see also my tirade on those photosynthesizing philanderers) The increased ambient temperature has the added effect of causing many animals to shed their now unnecessary fur. Apparently my mucus membranes, specifically my tear ducts, have been magnetized to attract such unwanted animal insulation. (Gah! There is fur in my eyes! Again!)

Be warned! The malevolent dictator of the sky is becoming more subtle in its efforts to target those aware of its plans. Specifically me, but I'm sure I am not the only one suffering under the atom crushing pressure of its glowing thumb.