||[30 Oct 2005|10:41am]
I hate this. I hate that I'm going
to miss him as much as I am. I hate
that the fact that I miss him makes
me seem somewhat clingy. I hate being
clingy, and seeming clingy. I hate today.
I didn't want today to come.
I wanted it to just be those 5 minutes I
had with him Monday to last FOREVER.
I hate saying good-bye.
I hate missing him so much knowing he's going
to be home for holidays. I hate that him
going away is going to change EVERYTHING for us.
I don't want it to change. I hate that it took
me this long to realize that he makes me happy
and that I want a relationship with him, and
now that it's to late it sucks. I hate that
I cried myself to sleep over this last night.
I hate today.
But mostly I hate that...
... everytime I start to get happy again, everything changes.