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I've been looking so long at these pictures of you that I almost believe that they're real. [Monday
October 31st, 2005 at 6:59pm]

DAMN ENGLISH ESSAYS! DAMN THEM TO HELL!

DAMN FILM STUDIES ESSAYS! DAMN THEM TO HELL!

DAMN MEDIA STUDIES ESSAYS! DAMN THEM TO HELL!

DAMN SOMEONE IN MY DRAMA GROUP! DAMN THEM TO HELL!

DAMN DRAMA COURSEWORK! DAMN IT TO HELL!

DAMN SORE THROATS! DAMN THEM TO HELL!

DAMN TABLOIDS! DAMN THEM TO HELL!

DAMN HORMONES! DAMN THEM TO HELL!

DAMN HALLOWEEN! DAMN IT TO HEAVEN!

DAMN JARVIS COCKER! DAMN HIM TO MY BEDROOM!

DAMN TEACUP! STOP TAKING OVER MY LIFE!

DAMN GEORGE BUSH! DAMN HIM TO HELL!

DAMN IAN CURTIS! REST IN PEACE! [*cries*]

DAMN LOVE! DAMN IT TO HELL!

DAMN HATE! DAMN IT TO HELL!

DAMN LACK OF IMAGINATION! DAMN IT TO HELL!

DAMN RELIGION! DAMN IT TO...ERR...

DAMN BRIAN SLADE AND CURT WILD! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SPLIT UP!

DAMN VELVET GOLDMINE! HOW I MISSED YOU!

if you really need it5

They don't love you like I love you. [Friday
October 28th, 2005 at 12:57am]
[ mood | philosophical ]

Here we go.

My cough worsens at night. It is a cough as big as Jarvis. Nay, this is a cough so large, the Wrath of Morrissey in his most emotional state could not compete with it's huge...hugeness.

Perhaps I have Bird-Flu. If this is the case, I'm buggered beyond buggering.

You know, I often ask myself: What is good in life?

I discovered the answer today.

It's your grandma buying you a box of Jaffa Cakes, and then getting home and finding your mother has done the same.

It's seeing a Weird Man talk to a pile of towels, thinking it is Billie Piper.

It's finding Wuthering Heights in a charity shop for £1, whereas it cost £8.99 in Ottakars.

It's the smile on the face of the woman in Cancer Research when I bought something there.

It's the kindness of the boy in HMV who, after discussing the Arctic Monkeys for 10 minutes with me, ran out of the store just to give me my receipt.

It's the bus driver letting you on for free.

It's those precious few moments before you need to cough again.

It's your mum waltzing in your room to say "I like Roxy Music" and then walking out again humming Virginia Plain.

It's driving around with the roof down in the car with your mother, screaming Oh You Pretty Things and Life On Mars? at the top of your lungs, scaring passing chavs.

It's when a chav is jealous of you.

It's playing a song on the guitar without fucking up for the first time.

It's when some kind soul offers to send you a fanzine because you can't get to a gig.

It's when you catch your dad tapping along to Arctic Monkeys, before proclaiming they are shit when you catch him.

It's when friends are generally concerned for your wellbeing, and you know they love you.

It's when you're told you're loved.

It's when you've finally realised you've moved on.

It's when the cat eats the spider that's terrifying you.

It's resolving a fight.

It's a private joke between friends.

It's finding that thing you thought you'd thrown away.

It's looking at past photographs.

It's when you find amusing news articles about otters doing the Macerena.

It's picturing otters doing the Macerena.

It's when you get told your Drama script is "fucking amazing".

It's realising no-one gives a shit whether the chicken or the egg came first.

It's when you dream about Jarvis Cocker locked in a fashion battle with Tim Jonze dressed as a crocodile.

It's when you make lists like this, that make you realise some things in life, no matter how little, are worth it.

 

That's philosophical me over.

 

Now, who wants to go Jet-Skiing on a banana?

if you really need it11

Time passes by and from it I cannot hide. [Thursday
October 27th, 2005 at 4:44pm]

Who knew shopping with my Grandma could be such fun?

Especially when this happens.

Weird Man: [sees a pile of towels] Oh my God! It's Billie Piper! She's a bird!

Me: Err...that's a pile of towels.

Weid Man: FUCK OFF! Stop trying to steal my girlfriend! *pets towels*

Me: What the -

Grandma: Hayley, come on! Bloody nutcase!

[Pile of towels falls on top of Weird Man.]

I finally got round to buying my first Lottery ticket, though I've been able to for quite some time now. And I didn't even have to pay for it!

The rest of the day can pretty much be summed up with the following picture. May I say, CHARITY SHOPS HAVE THE BEST BARGAINS EVER! 2 LP's and a book, a quid each! Yes, £1 each!

My Purchases [look how pretty!]Collapse )

if you really need it8

When I was 17, I drank some very good beer... [Wednesday
October 26th, 2005 at 9:31pm]

In which I ramble, rant, and live in a yellow submarineCollapse )

if you really need it6

OTP? [Tuesday
October 25th, 2005 at 2:25pm]
The Vines have just directly followed The Strokes on my iTunes, which is on Shuffle. This makes me giggle. A lot.

Also:

RantsCollapse )
if you really need it4

Spin around like a crazy elf! [Tuesday
October 25th, 2005 at 12:24pm]

A MUSICAL REVIEW

HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE SOUNDTRACK

Far from the previous soundtracks of the backing music used in the films, this one was organised by a certain Mr. Jarvis Cocker. Sound good so far? It gets better.

1. Magic Works - A love song. I nearly died of a Jarvgasm, particularly at the introduction. Jarvis still sounds as hot as ever. It's so sweet. "Believe that magic works/don't be afraid/[not sure of next line, damn my speakers]/don't let this magic die/oh the answer's there/just look in her eyes/and I will believe in magic again [that is sung in the traditional switch from nice and quiet to big booming Jarvis voice. Reminds me of some of the change in volume in I Spy.]/no no no, this magic won't die/so dance your final dance/coz this is your final chance." Yes it ends with a hint of the whisper-esque singing, this is a good song, even if it wasn't for Harry Potter. I'm excited about the other songs now!

2. This Is The Night - Woah, the introduction is quite slow and discordant. Then it appears to stop. WOAH! Disco stomp with guitars and Jarvis lyrics! Wow! I like this! Jarvis commands this song so much. Backing vocals from the Radiohead boys sound good. These lyrics are very good. It doesn't even sound like it belongs to Harry Potter! "There was a time I would have walked on burning coals for you/sail across the ocean blue" "a change is in the air/nothing will ever be the same/you still look good to me/but you're no good for me/I close my eyes and squeeze you from my conscience/and in the morning when I wake/I walk the line and walk it straight/But the morning's so many miles away!/GOOD GOD NOW!/So take your hands off me tonight/I'm breaking free this is the night/This is the night." WOAH! It sounds like the aliens are landing towards the end! And it all collapses into a big heap of guitars as Jarvis warbles "This is the niiiiiiiiight". It's good.

[can you tell I'm writing this as I listen for the first time?]

3. Do The Hippogriff - SNARLY JARVIS SCREAM OVER CHAINSAW-ESQUE GUITAR! Screams of "ALRIGHT HOGWARTS! ARE YOU READY FOR SOME REAL MUSIC? ARE YOU READY!" and the teasing "I can't hear yaaaaa!" and we're thrown in the deep end right from the off. Oh my God! It's like if 80's Matchbox B-Line Disaster and Client had a baby while listening to Macerena. Snarly, Gothic, Electro influenced in times, and it even has a set dance apparantly! "Jarvis: Alright everybody, we're gonna teach you a brand new dance tonight!" And the song hasn't even STARTED yet! The singing even sounds like Guy McKnight! 80's Matchbox and Client SHOULD have babies if this is the result! "Running like a cave troll/I'm learning to rock and roll/spin around like a crazy elf/a-dancin' by himself!" Best line ever! Oh wait, there's more! "I can get down like a unicorn/I won't stop until the break of dawn/put your hands up in the air/like an ogre who just don't care!" Clearly the lyrical genius of Jarvis Cocker. Then comes the question "Can you dance like a hippogriff?" To which the Radiohead boys reply with, well, loud music and chants of "na na na na na na na na naaa!" "Flying off from the cliff [my my my my my my my my my!]" I could quote this entire song, but I've already written so much about just the first 1.29 of 3.39, so I'll try and cut it down. I soooo want to quote the rest of it, but that would leave no surprise, would it? Trust me, it's worth the wait. This song is fucking fantastic! Can't wait to see the Potter kids dancing to this, and clearly JArvis will be doing some traditional dancing on screen. HE JUST SAID "Creature of the Night!" WOO! ROCKY HORROR FLASHBACKS! This song has it all! One of my favourite songs of the year, and I'm 100% serious.

4. Hogwarts Hymn - Much less spazzing due to it not being a Jarvis work of art [and they are works of art], but it's a very touching piece of music. It does sound like church music, but better. It also sounds quite Christmassy to me for some odd reason! Just like something that would be played at the end of a Christmas film when the whole family is sat by the tree opening presents together. It's very uplifting.

5. Another Year Ends - Another sounding like the music you'd find on the previous soundtracks, but students of contemporary dance or something could find this an interesting piece of music to work with. As for the rest of us, it's nice music.

6. Cedric - Presumably played on Cedric's death. Yes I think it is, because it sounds sorrowful. Very high-pitched too. Yep, this is clearly the farewell music to Cedric Diggory. If I'm wrong now, I'll feel like such a fool.

7. Voldemort - Ooh evil. Freaky. Sinister. Sums up the title nicely. But it lasts almost 10 minutes. No fucking way.

8. The Maze - I think by now I should have realised there isn't likely to be any more Jarvis numbers. The Maze sounds like your typical soundtrack to a scene of suspense or drama.

9. Hogwarts March - Cheerful trumpets! I LIKE THIS!

10. The Black Lake - Sad and morbid with a hint of eerie exploding in a climax of mystery.

11. Myrtle's Move - Sounds like something from a very old love story mixed with a musical jewellery box and a Disney film. Ooh now it sounds like Arabian Nights!

12. Potter Waltz - I think this may be when Harry and Parvati dance. Not to my taste.

13. Harry Potter's Love - I wonder who THIS is about?

14. Neville's Waltz - WTF? The music is cool, but NEVILLE WALTZES?

15. Look, I'm not even gonna bother anymore. The rest of the soundtrack is just backing music used in the film.

My verdict: It's worth it for the first three tracks. Seriously. Even if you never listen to the others in your life, those three are...wow!

http://music.aol.com/artist/main.adp?tab=album&albumid=802181

if you really need it3

What about Daddy Cool? [Monday
October 24th, 2005 at 2:30pm]

I went to the hairdressers with a view of having Vince!hair.

I described it to Lewis the hairdresser, and here's what happened next.

*describes*

Lewis: Oh, like Vince Noir!

Me: YES!

Lewis: Oh my God! Yes! Noel Fielding is so hot...*rambles about Noel*

*I have coughing fit*

Lewis: Well we can't do that today, because Noel hair requires LOTS of concentration, and I can't do it if you keep lurching forward coughing, so next time, we'll go absolutely MAD with it!

Do not fret dear fellows! I did have my hair done! It's dark[er] brown, with bright red and purple in a diagonal stripe down the middle, so when the wind blows it, the colours show and it looks great! As for the cut, I just had the layers altered to form the basis for what will be Noel hair next time.

During the cut, I stopped breathing. Lewis panicked. Damn coughing fit. I'm going to the doctor about this, I swear! Some woman broke down outside [in the middle of the main road] and Lewis found it HILARIOUS! He's a mean lad. I managed to carry on with Regeneration during it, but not much. It's been so long since I last read it! I forgot it all! I still don't remember most of it! Lewis and I got annoyed when they played Natasha Bedingfield and James Blunt on rotation, so we started singing and dancing [well Lewis sang, as I currently sound like a craking door] to Daddy Cool. That was fun.

Anyway, hair! You can't see the red and purple much on here, as most of it is at the back, but meh.

Lookie lookie lookie [on your first day!]Collapse )

if you really need it8

Baby's on fire, better throw her in the water. [Sunday
October 23rd, 2005 at 9:01pm]
The Adventures Of Super Carlos - A ComicCollapse )
if you really need it13

Friends will be friends... [Sunday
October 23rd, 2005 at 5:48pm]
So this is what I want.

I want a really close friend [who lives near me!] who I can see all the time, and we can go out places like to the park *inward giggle* or the zoo or something and take pictures and be merry. I have a group of college friends, but we're not close at all. Some of the people I'm closest to live very far away. Damn it, I've been denying it for years but I want a best friend. I just had a few pretty close friends but that's it. I want someone I can share everything with and have a nice, fun time and [I cannot stress this enough] TAKE PICTURES!

Grr!

You wouldn't expect that looking at pictures of Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt with a string of bananas started this, but it did. Also, listening to Queen did it too.

So now Hayley will disappear. Godfrey's back, and he's not happy.

EDIT://
I'm at the hairdressers tomorrow, what do I go for:

Carlos hair
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
or
Vince hair [see right]?
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
[yes I know I'm not a man]

EDIT://
Why am I in the mood to make a Christmas list?
if you really need it37

"Out by 16 or dead in this scene but together forever." [Sunday
October 23rd, 2005 at 3:51pm]
*Watches Ginger Snaps*

*Talks to Rebs*

OH SHIT!

*Hides from Lana*
if you really need it

I'm just a Sweet Transvestite... [Saturday
October 22nd, 2005 at 12:43pm]

Just when you think you can't feel any worse...

 

 

...You do.

The only reason why I'm bugging you with details of my illness is because I can only leave my room to be sick.

Now I'm gonna go lie in bed and have a Velvet Goldmine/Ginger Snaps/The Hole/Big Fish/Doctor Who/Allo Allo/Rocky Horror Show Marathon, as I imagine you're bored of me complaining now.

if you really need it5

"This is a Ding!" "A what?" "A DING!" [Saturday
October 22nd, 2005 at 1:51am]
[ mood | sick ]

I've had one constant coughing fit since Monday. It's awful. I keep gagging and being sick. Tonight's been the worst. My chest hurts so much!!! I feel like I'm dying. Perhaps I should try sleeping, but when I tried that yesterday I only got 1 hour of sleep because I was up all night coughing. I feel like I'm coughing up my lungs and I've been struggling to breathe.

SOMEONE STOP THE TORTURE!

In other news, I played The Ding Dong Game in drama and I bought Regeneration.

Farewell from a very sick me.

*Shoots all evil germs.* Bastards.

if you really need it3

STOP THE EMONESS! [Thursday
October 20th, 2005 at 7:54pm]

This is great! Bloody great! I've felt fantastic these past few days. Well, that's a lie. I've been ill and I feel like I'm gonna die, but emotionally, I haven't felt this good in a long time. And I'm not even my happiest, so I must have been low before.

I think it was seeing her grave that did it. We never met. I hadn't even been born when it happened. But she's still family. She went so young. Only 12. She hasn't even got a tombstone like all the other graves around her. They never could afford it, nor could they bring themselves to do it. She's been a long time dead and a long time missed, and all anyone has of her is a patch of dying grass, and no-one who walks past would have any clue who she was. I don't want that for me.

if you really need it

Illness...thy name is EVIL! [Thursday
October 20th, 2005 at 5:15pm]

Since I've had nothing better to do, I can finally write up about this.

So NME Rock & Roll Riot. It was me, Leigh, Toni and Toni's friend Catherine. Also we saw two girls from college called Rachel and Fiona, so we talked to them. Got on the coach and ate lollies and such.

We queued up outside and got loads of freebies. We were stood right next to the backstage area, annoying the security guard, when two blokes walked past. Toni said "You shouldn't smoke, it's bad for you!" They turned round and looked at her like she was insane. It was only Ryan and Gary from The Cribs. She's a fool, my sister. Then some guy walked past in a very nice hat. I said "I like his hat." Toni said to him "I like your hat." He said "Oh, thank you." He looked at us and it was none other than Paul Smith from Maximo Park. He smiled and then went back stage. Rachel and I said "OMG! Paul Smith!" Toni said, "What, the designer?"

Sinead turned up. We talked to her and her mother.

The Cribs were awesome. Maximo Park weren't as good, but they were still bloody brilliant! And PAul Smith's hips are mesmerising.

Kaiser Chiefs came on. I spazzed at the presence of Peanut and the hat. I got a picture of him! I love Peanut, he rules. Some guy tried to punch me during I Predict A Riot, so I bit him. He later got arrested for punching many peoples. Toni get herself so panicked worrying about me [even though I was fine, she was in a worse state than me] she got her arm hurt and fainted. They pulled her out during Caroline, Yes. I had to go with her, but because I wasn't hurt or unconscious, they allowed me to do a bit of crowdsurfing first. Bloody brilliant! I waved at Ricky [I'd earlier ripped out some of his hair by mistake while he pulled some girl out of the crowd in You Can Have It All. Bitch.] Then went into the medical bit with Toni. Oh, I forgot. In Modern Way, Ricky got a tennis ball thrown at his head. While in the medical bit, we missed Take My Temperature, I Heard It Through The Grapevine and What Did I Ever Give You. Toni was crying because she thought she'd ruined it for me. Well, she kinda did, but it's not her fault. We got out in time for the final song, which inevitably was Oh My God.

Toni and I bought merchandise. I got a Cribs t-shirt, a Chiefs tie and Chiefs badges. I already have Park badges. We met Leigh who told us some guy put his hands down her underwear, so she headbutted him. Then we found Catherine. We saw Rachel outside the coach. Fuck. Fiona was missing. We ran around looking for her. We got back and she was already on the coach.

Here's pictures

Tuesday was Pink Day at college. We all wore Pink for breast cancer. Most of my friends didn't make an effort, but Tasha and I did. I got a pink cowboy hat and made a pink Pulp t-shirt with a lovely big picture of JARVIS!!! Tasha got a wand and lots of other stuff, and then she got a pink top and drew on the American Idiot cover, but put Pink Day instead of Green Day and instead of the heart hand grenade, she drew a breast cancer ribbon in the hand. It was awesome.

Pictures.

Last night I went back to my old school to get my GCSE certificates. i won a Subject Prize for Drama. Yay!

Now I'm ill and have had to give my password for my college computer to Gemma because our project on The Ring for Film Studies was on there. If any of my work gets deleted...I'll...flick her on the nose!

And OMG! The weather! It's pissing it down, but it's sunny. It looks pretty.

if you really need it6

Hey lets do it like we're friends. [Thursday
October 20th, 2005 at 2:59pm]
[ mood | sick ]

"Oh dear!" said Jesus.

View it at the highest speed or it'll take forever.

So that's what I've done today, as I've been off college ill. Also I updated and organised ALL my favourites on uber_mccool.</span>

if you really need it11

I know you love me but you're fucking crazy! [Wednesday
October 19th, 2005 at 10:11pm]
I HANDED IN MY ESSAY!

I WORE A COWBOY HAT ON PINK DAY!

I GOT VELVET GOLDMINE BACK!

LOST IS ON!

I WON A SPECIAL ACHIEVEMENT PRIZE IN DRAMA!

I'M REALLY FUCKING ILL! I HAVE SWOLLEN GLANDS AND I THINK I'M GONNA FAINT ANY SECOND! THUS I'M NOT DOING MY ENGLISH ESSAY! BUT I HAVE TO GO IN TOMORROW, BECAUSE OUR THE RING PROJECT IS SAVED TO MY USER AREA AND GEMMA, ALEX AND AIDEN DON'T KNOW MY PASSWORD!

I CAN'T BE BOTHERED REMOVING CAPS LOCK!

I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA DIE!
if you really need it2

Did you see his clothes, everyone said he looked like a mess. [Monday
October 17th, 2005 at 8:41pm]

I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN!

I'll do the gig review later in the week, coz I have so much work to do!

if you really need it3

[Sunday
October 16th, 2005 at 2:40am]
Lily, thanks for helping me put Godfrey back in his cage.
if you really need it4

Call me Tundra Boy coz I move like an Arctic Lizard! [Friday
October 14th, 2005 at 5:15pm]

VINCE NOIR, ROCK & ROLL STAR!!!

So what do you think of the drawing? That's taken me ages!

ROCK & ROLL RIOT CRISIS GOES FROM BAD TO WORSE! But I shall not go into that.

In Media, we did stuff. I showed Mary the above drawing while I was still in the process of finishing it and asked her opinion on The Hair. [It has to be perfect, it's VINCE NOIR!]

I finished it off except the writing in the drama room before the lesson started. Then Kat and I got freaked out by Jack being...sexual with us for an hour and a half. Romance and innuendo's fine in Drama, sure, but Jack's scary!

Then at dinner I finished it, and then talked to Sarah, Tasha and Vicki and had a laugh. ["Hawaiian Punch!"]

In English I practically fell asleep. The room was dark, I was tired, and Carla had just gotten high before the lesson, and the fumes were making Siobhan and I feel a little lightheaded.

After English I met Sarah and Tasha, and we sat on a bench outside Debenhams for half an hour, taking pictures of eyes and birds. Sarah was gonna walk home coz she gave all her money to charity in college [I gave them my money for dinner], but Tasha and I lent her the money for her bus, which she refuses to let go until she's payed us back. It was 25p each!!!

Got on the bus with Sarah, chatted about a manner of things, and when she got off, she rang me up to say "Hawaiian Punch!" and then hung up again.

So that's my day so far.

if you really need it10

Get teenage kicks right through the night... [Thursday
October 13th, 2005 at 7:37pm]

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if you really need it

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