more glamorous than a mandy slade eyeroll (__i_get_along__) wrote,
more glamorous than a mandy slade eyeroll
__i_get_along__

  • Music:

I watched it for a little while.

I'm not giving you every last detail of my day. But in English, in our groups we had to write a monologue for two characters in Cinderella, but a character that isn't usually explored. Thus, Carla and I chose The Glass Slipper, and Prince Bob, Prince Charming's jealous brother. We set it at the end of the story.

Here be the results:

Oh my goodness! The feeling of velvet against my heel, the soft caress of the tassles, golden trimmings of the sun. It is simply, absolutely, exuisitely, fantastically sublime. My royal cushion, the apple of my sole, the light of my leap, the fruit of my...NOOOOOOOOOO! How darest thee remove me from my velvety paradise? Dost thou not knoweth who I am? This is positively scandalous! Get though greasy hand from thy sparkling surface, thou son of a boot!

NOOOOO! Not the feet! Anything but the feet! Thou hath never seen anything so disgusting...a bunyon. Oh, the smell! My gosh, sharp toenails! This is absolute torture, but thou could not expect greater from such an ugly wench. My dainty divinity should not be abused by a foot of such size, so stop squeezing bitch! *ahem* I mean, please kindly remove your foot from my person.

[under breath] Thank God! I've never had anything so terribly ghastly step foot inside of me!

Oh. Oh Lord. I SEE THE LIGHT! I SEE THE LIGHT! What happened? Am I dead? Am I in heaven? God, is that you? My, what delicate feet you have! Ooh, that tickles, yet it is soft, and smooth, and somehow familiar. It could only be the foot of the exquisite Cinderella! We hath been reunited! I'm in love!

 

Ooh, we're off!

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Just look at him. Perfect Prince Charming. He got the better name. He always gets the girl. I mean come on! It's obvious he's gay! No one could have hair that perfect and be straight. I saw him at the ball with the Duke of Spain. The twinkle in their eyes, the slight rub of one's hand against one's leg, and don't get me started on what went on behind the clock! He can't deny it, I have photographic evidence! If Cinderella can't be mine, let me tell you now, all will be exposed on the front page of The Sun. It'll be like George Michael in the toilets all over again!

Bloody hell, she's a looker. I don't think I've ever been this close before. If I could just get her alone for two minutes...never mind.

Shit. It fits. What do I do now? I know I should have smashed it when I had the chance. Maybe...if I shaved that sister's chins, and that sister's moustashe, I could have myself some twins! Urgh, they are pretty ugly. Meh, take what I can get. I am Prince Bob after all.

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Gemma, Alex and I are now Nick's teachers pets. This is a good thing, as Film Studies rocks. Rob tried to bribe him with chocolate today, but nothing beats our The Ring powerpoint and The Shining analysis today. You hear me? NOTHING!

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