October 25th, 2005

omg

Spin around like a crazy elf!

A MUSICAL REVIEW

HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE SOUNDTRACK

Far from the previous soundtracks of the backing music used in the films, this one was organised by a certain Mr. Jarvis Cocker. Sound good so far? It gets better.

1. Magic Works - A love song. I nearly died of a Jarvgasm, particularly at the introduction. Jarvis still sounds as hot as ever. It's so sweet. "Believe that magic works/don't be afraid/[not sure of next line, damn my speakers]/don't let this magic die/oh the answer's there/just look in her eyes/and I will believe in magic again [that is sung in the traditional switch from nice and quiet to big booming Jarvis voice. Reminds me of some of the change in volume in I Spy.]/no no no, this magic won't die/so dance your final dance/coz this is your final chance." Yes it ends with a hint of the whisper-esque singing, this is a good song, even if it wasn't for Harry Potter. I'm excited about the other songs now!

2. This Is The Night - Woah, the introduction is quite slow and discordant. Then it appears to stop. WOAH! Disco stomp with guitars and Jarvis lyrics! Wow! I like this! Jarvis commands this song so much. Backing vocals from the Radiohead boys sound good. These lyrics are very good. It doesn't even sound like it belongs to Harry Potter! "There was a time I would have walked on burning coals for you/sail across the ocean blue" "a change is in the air/nothing will ever be the same/you still look good to me/but you're no good for me/I close my eyes and squeeze you from my conscience/and in the morning when I wake/I walk the line and walk it straight/But the morning's so many miles away!/GOOD GOD NOW!/So take your hands off me tonight/I'm breaking free this is the night/This is the night." WOAH! It sounds like the aliens are landing towards the end! And it all collapses into a big heap of guitars as Jarvis warbles "This is the niiiiiiiiight". It's good.

[can you tell I'm writing this as I listen for the first time?]

3. Do The Hippogriff - SNARLY JARVIS SCREAM OVER CHAINSAW-ESQUE GUITAR! Screams of "ALRIGHT HOGWARTS! ARE YOU READY FOR SOME REAL MUSIC? ARE YOU READY!" and the teasing "I can't hear yaaaaa!" and we're thrown in the deep end right from the off. Oh my God! It's like if 80's Matchbox B-Line Disaster and Client had a baby while listening to Macerena. Snarly, Gothic, Electro influenced in times, and it even has a set dance apparantly! "Jarvis: Alright everybody, we're gonna teach you a brand new dance tonight!" And the song hasn't even STARTED yet! The singing even sounds like Guy McKnight! 80's Matchbox and Client SHOULD have babies if this is the result! "Running like a cave troll/I'm learning to rock and roll/spin around like a crazy elf/a-dancin' by himself!" Best line ever! Oh wait, there's more! "I can get down like a unicorn/I won't stop until the break of dawn/put your hands up in the air/like an ogre who just don't care!" Clearly the lyrical genius of Jarvis Cocker. Then comes the question "Can you dance like a hippogriff?" To which the Radiohead boys reply with, well, loud music and chants of "na na na na na na na na naaa!" "Flying off from the cliff [my my my my my my my my my!]" I could quote this entire song, but I've already written so much about just the first 1.29 of 3.39, so I'll try and cut it down. I soooo want to quote the rest of it, but that would leave no surprise, would it? Trust me, it's worth the wait. This song is fucking fantastic! Can't wait to see the Potter kids dancing to this, and clearly JArvis will be doing some traditional dancing on screen. HE JUST SAID "Creature of the Night!" WOO! ROCKY HORROR FLASHBACKS! This song has it all! One of my favourite songs of the year, and I'm 100% serious.

4. Hogwarts Hymn - Much less spazzing due to it not being a Jarvis work of art [and they are works of art], but it's a very touching piece of music. It does sound like church music, but better. It also sounds quite Christmassy to me for some odd reason! Just like something that would be played at the end of a Christmas film when the whole family is sat by the tree opening presents together. It's very uplifting.

5. Another Year Ends - Another sounding like the music you'd find on the previous soundtracks, but students of contemporary dance or something could find this an interesting piece of music to work with. As for the rest of us, it's nice music.

6. Cedric - Presumably played on Cedric's death. Yes I think it is, because it sounds sorrowful. Very high-pitched too. Yep, this is clearly the farewell music to Cedric Diggory. If I'm wrong now, I'll feel like such a fool.

7. Voldemort - Ooh evil. Freaky. Sinister. Sums up the title nicely. But it lasts almost 10 minutes. No fucking way.

8. The Maze - I think by now I should have realised there isn't likely to be any more Jarvis numbers. The Maze sounds like your typical soundtrack to a scene of suspense or drama.

9. Hogwarts March - Cheerful trumpets! I LIKE THIS!

10. The Black Lake - Sad and morbid with a hint of eerie exploding in a climax of mystery.

11. Myrtle's Move - Sounds like something from a very old love story mixed with a musical jewellery box and a Disney film. Ooh now it sounds like Arabian Nights!

12. Potter Waltz - I think this may be when Harry and Parvati dance. Not to my taste.

13. Harry Potter's Love - I wonder who THIS is about?

14. Neville's Waltz - WTF? The music is cool, but NEVILLE WALTZES?

15. Look, I'm not even gonna bother anymore. The rest of the soundtrack is just backing music used in the film.

My verdict: It's worth it for the first three tracks. Seriously. Even if you never listen to the others in your life, those three are...wow!

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