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Dotted Line Around My Heart, Cut It Well x3 [entries|friends|calendar]
Don't Speak

While she hides the scars she's making underneath her pretty clothes
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:D :D :D [Monday
1:15am October 17th]
[ mood | bouncy ]

I'm not gonna lie to all you people, I've been having some amazing times these days.
I can't really remember much, because I suck at remembering, but you know.
Today.. I did a bunch of stuff that's too important for me to write out in words.
Buuuut, it's also Rae's birthday :D :D :D
She had like tree fiddy people over.. just kidding, more like 8ish.
I'm glad Rae had a good time today, she deserves it.
But I really can't believe she's fucking shfourteeen teeeen already :-0
Well, it's been a fun time, like always<3
Haha.. but anywaaaays..
read [ 4 ] cmnt

:DDDDDD [Wednesday
1:17am August 24th]
[ mood | excited ]

So, yeah, I've been quite busy lately.
I made JV volleyball, which is pretty exciting, in my book<3
Uh, there's really nothing exciting going on in my life, besides one thing.
I MUST update you guys on two things.
Most importantly, Alyssa got her second surgery on Monday morning.
It went fine, actually.
She's in pain a bit, but nothing nearly as rough as her first surgery.
She began physical theropy the day she got surgery, and she can already bend her knee EIGHTY FUCKING DEGREES<3
I'm so proud of her, you don't even understand :)
I know everything will go wonderfulllllly and I know she'll come back strong.
I love you, Alyssa ♥

Anyways, post? ♥

read [ 9 ] cmnt

0:) [Friday
1:50am July 29th]
[ mood | excited ]

Tomorrow I'm leaving for New York City :DDD

We're shopping in Manhatten for the whole day and then staying at a Marriott in Manhatten =)

Sunday, eaaaarly in the morning, we're flying into Fort Myers, Florida and heading off to North Captiva Island.

Ah, I'm so fucking excited. I won't be updating this puppy until.. next Sunday, maybe?


275 8209 :)


read [ 18 ] cmnt

Whooaaa, haven't updated this puppy in ages :-p [Wednesday
1:00am July 20th]
[ mood | sore ]

WOW, it's been very busy this week :-0 Softball is going wonderfully, I must admit. I have a lot of confidence in myself, partially because of myself and partially because of my coaches. They really motivate and encourage me to the extreme, which is always lovely and reassuring. This week I've been playing 3rd base the whole game, which is HORRIBLY exciting. Alyssa is playing second, who usually plays third half of the game while I play third the other half, and the girl who usually plays second is playing center field because the center-fielder is on vacation. Wow, enough said about that :-p Anyways, yesterday's game went absoultely SPLENDID. Everyone came.. Annie, Colby, Devin, Lyss, Mothaaarr, Nana, and Dickie Dick :-p Haha, thanks, everyone.. I absolutely adore you all to pieces<3 Uhm.. wow, I had an AMAZING game yesterday. Sorry, I know I seem quite conceided at the moment, but I had SO much CONFIDENCE that game, it was absolutely amazing. I like.. wow, I can't even explain. I was SO on top of the ball, and I made a lot of tag plays.. and I bunted for the first time in my entire life in a game, and both my coaches said it was a "perfect" bunt. Although, nothing is perfect in life, I guess it was quite good, though =D=D=D I was so proud of myself, you don't even understand. And my bunt resulted in an RBI, which was VERY exciting. AAAND i got walked once, slid to second, was fine there. Theeeen I stole 3rd and rounded the base, like you're suppossed to do, and the fucking catcher threw the ball right below my naval, more like in my groin area. I was fine, though. No tears, nothing :-) THEEEN, I stole home BUT I didn't slide, for some odd reason, and the fucking catcher was as beastly as beastly can get, and she was in my baseline so my intention was to fucking run the bitch over. Although, considering her weight and thick size, she ended up fucking TACKLING me and I did a splendid matrix move. Unfortunately, I didn't get the run, but I was proud of myself. I didn't make ONE error, which was soooo exciting. So yes, I had a WONDERFUL game last night=D=D=D=D I thank you allll who came, I love you guys<3

Anyways, today I had ANOTHER game. I must admit, I did quite badly. See, I didn't eat shit all day, and usually I had potassium and then a kick of sugar to get my adrenalin pumped, but I forgot to eat shit all day. SO, therefore, I didn't have an ounce of energy in my body, and my timing was COMPLETELY off. I made about four errors in the course of one game, which is quite horrible. To put it plainly, I completely choked. I mean, I had a hit, but it was whimpy. Oh, well, I definitely learned my lesson after that. Haha, OH YES! And Matthew Stewart came to my game<333333 This happened to be the only game I completely, in my opinion, sucked ass, which is lovely, considering all the games we've had. I know we all make mistakes, but I can never seem to shake shit off easily. I definitely need to work on that shit. Haha, of course.. I cried after the game, but in the car so no one saw except my moothaaaar, Lyss, and Matt. I don't know, I shook it off after a bit and then I was fiiiine =] THEEENN we went to fucking Stadium Cafe and I had a SPLENDID dinnnaaarree. I had a steer burger with bacon and barbie que sauce. Yes, it was absolutely amazing. We had lovely disscussions at dinnaaareee, and I absolutely love Alyssa and Matt to pieces<3

Everything is going quite lovely these days. Yes, a few bitch fights here and there, but I'm over them =D I love you all<3


read [ 24 ] cmnt

=D [Friday
2:51am July 15th]
[ mood | stressed ]

I think you guys know the rules =]
If not.. just try and name the song title and group/person who sings the song.
Do it up, loserfaaaaaces<3

[1]But her dreams give her wings, and she flies to a place where she's loved.
[2]Then ask me what it's like to have myself so figured out. I wish I knew.
[3]You're just jealous 'cause we're young and in love.
[4]Why can't you just be happy? And I don't think I'll ever come back down..
[5]I scream till I bleed. I scream stay away from me. They can't keep me back..
[6]I try but I'm not convincing. Your lips they pout and twist and I die trying just to keep myself from kissing you.
[7]I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. Sinners are much more fun...
[8]I'ma get what I can and more, even if my blood, my sweat, and my tears don't mean nothin.
[9]You know that you are worthless.. and I am better than the games that you play, princess.
[10]Can you extract me from my plastic fantasy? I didn't think so but im still convinceable.

.. ill do the rest tomorrow<3

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Do it up... [Thursday
1:03am July 14th]
[ mood | crazy ]

Would you ever...

-Tell me if I was really & truley ugly?
-Hug me?
-Drop a bad habit for me?
-Beat somebody up for me?
-Write a song for me?
-Tell me that you love me?
-Tell me a secret (if you have one tell me it..haha)?
-Do anything that would make me uncomforatable?
-Hit on me?
-Tell me if you had feelings for me (if so..tell me!!!)?
-Bitch somebody out for me?
-Talk about me?
-Kill me (eeek!)?
-Hump me (haha)?
-Take advantage of me?
-Lie to me?
-Fantasise about me?

Post, please =]

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I don't know :[ [Wednesday
3:00pm July 13th]
[ mood | angry ]

Wow.. I'm increadibly bored right now. So, I guess I've decided to post, considering I have nothing much better to do with my lazy ass. Uhm.. yesterday I played in Colby and Emily's basketball game. I guess I did alright, considering I haven't played since like.. I don't know, a while :-p It was fun.. I miss basketball so much. Softball has been like.. my life since the beginning of spring up until now. It keeps me going, keeps me encouraged and motivated to succeed.

Yeah, so I hung out with Colby, Em, and Colleen the other night for a while. We watched The Real World. That show pisses me off, because there's so much unwanted, unnecessary drama JUST because of Melinda. She's such a skank-ass whore.. gawsh, I want to fucking smack a bitch. I can't believe Danny puts up with her shit.. she fucking was so depressed when that guy broke up with her.. meanwhile, she's fucking Danny. And while Danny's getting surgery and stuff, she's making out with Wes. Man, she definitely needs to learn some respect for a man. Gawsh, and herself :-p

Annnyways, I got a cellular. If I didn't tell you that, I have one now. Uhm.. it's alright, I guess. I don't know.. I've been quite down lately. I'm not sure why, but I just have been. Keenan and I broke up, which was a dissapointment at first, because I spent all night thinking about my decision. I mean, I don't want commitment over the summer. Summer is a time to have fun with a bunch of different people.. and to experience many different guys, you know? We're still the best of friends, which is great<3

Everything has just been.. generally.. bad lately. I'm not sure why, it just has been. I mean, softball's going great... I'm having fun and doing really well, in my opinion. Just like.. I've been unsure of myself lately. I'm kinda starting to think I have a problem or something. A lot of girls are like finding these guys they love to pieces.. while I'm here, waiting for him. I don't know.. it's like once I get what I want, and I have it, I don't want it anymore. It's like.. I don't appreciate what God gave me. By the way, usually I'm a very thankful young lady :] Yeah, I'm trying to discover my inner self and my surroundings. I'm very unsure of everyone now-a-days. I'm not going to mention anything else, considering I've already blabbed out all the problems. Uhm.. I guess that's enough for now.

Post, I guess?

read [ 4 ] cmnt

tired =[ [Saturday
1:25am July 9th]
[ mood | tired ]

Wow, I'm increadibly tired. Right now, I'm talking to Colby and Zach about things.. Colby and I just got into a HUGE fight.. actually.. the first fight in our entire friendship. It marks like.. a new fucking beginning. Wow, it was probably one of the worst experiences in my life. I feel bad yelling at my sweet, innocent Colby =[ Well, anyways, everything's all good now. Colby and I made up, which is wonderful. I love her with all my heart.. ever so dearly. I don't know what the fuck I would do without her.

Annnyways, I finally hung out with Keenan =D I missed him.. a lot. It's always good to see him. His smile cheers me up like crazy. He'll probably come over for a bit tomorrow =] Annyways.. love you<3

I had a sleepover with some of the girls the other night.. Colby and Rae, actually. It was fun.. I haven't seen them all in a while. I missed them to DEATH<3333 WE just hung out and stuff.. it's always good to see my ladies =]

Well, that's enough for tonight. I know this is not much of an update, but whatever. You're all probably bored out of your miiiinds. Oh well, deal with it =D

Love you all<33

read [ 8 ] cmnt

looong ass entry =D [Tuesday
12:59am June 28th]
[ mood | loved ]

Wow, I've been QUITE busy so far during the summer. I'm reallly fucking excited that school's over with, finally. The only thing I miss are some of my friends, but most of them I see all the time ;-) So yeah, I've been hanging out with EVERYONE lately, except, quite frankly.. my best friends :-p I really haven't hung out with Colby and Emily much lately, but tomorrow I think Annie and Colby are spending the night after Alyssa's surgery =D =D =D =D Today I went mini golfing with a bunch of people (Alyssa, Annie, Colby, Emily, Cody, Devin, Chris, Max, etc). We had a pretty kickass time, I must admit. I'm a badass golfer, I must say =D

Aaaanyways, tomorrow's Alyssa's surgery =O I'm really nervous for her, actually, even though she's drugged x's infinity during the surgery. I just feel like.. the whole spinal shot is going to like fucking kill her or something. I mean, can you imagine like a foot-long needle going into your spine and not hurting?! Nawh, I definitely can't. I'm REALLY excited, though. This is such a HUGE step in Alyssa's life. Soon, she's even going to be able to play basketball =D =D I'm realllly fucking proud of her.. she's gotten so strong because of all the shit she's gone through. In the end, I know she'll come out even stronger<3

Ahh, how can I forget?! Last night I had a sleepover with Jenna, Emma, and Melissa. Oh boy =O Let me tell you, we had some KICKASS times. Haha, I was talking to Emma for like 2 hours (it was real deep and shit) and all of a sudden I look over and she was sleeping =( Haha, it was QUITE funny. And then Mel with her orange soda :-/ Ah, that's not a good combination, haha. Uhh.. and Jenna stuck Emma's hand in COLD water and she was too dummyish to know that, in order for someone to piss their pants while they're sleeping, it has to be HOT water. Haha, dumbass<3 Jen and I stayed up until fucking five in the morning.. haha, some awesome talks, babe<3 Theeeen RIGHT when we woke up we baked a cake. Ahh, it was so good! Emma and I had like 93496993469436 pieces :-p Oh man, I love you girls so much! Thanks for EVERYTHING<3

Oh man! I haven't seen Keenan since WEDNESDAY of last week =O I feel completely deprived (sexually and emotionally). I feel like I'm going through fucking withdrawl or something! He's not coming home until FRIIIIDAY, and I'm not sure if I can stand that. I can't wait that long to see my baby =O PLUS, I'm going to my father's for a WHOLE fucking week starting the 30th into the 6th, which happens to be my birthday =D So, basically, I won't be able to see Keenan until my birthday :-( Which happens to suck, because that's like 350 zillion years away. I miss him so much! He means so much to me, it's real crazy, actually ;-) Ahh, you don't even understand how much he means to me =D =D =D I loooove you<3

So yes, tomorrow there are going to be plenty of visitors after Lyss's surgery. Annie and Colb are probably spending the night and they're dying my hair =D I'm really excited.. colors in my hair make me horny =O

Well, enough for now.
And pleeeease post?!
I loooove you, baby<3

read [ 15 ] cmnt

=D =D =D =D =D [Monday
4:25am June 27th]
[ mood | high ]

Guys Like That You're Fun

You're the type of girl guys brag about knowing

That's because you're cool, funny, and laid back

You're smart enough to know how to be one of the guys

But flirty enough to know how to make them all want you

What Do Guys Like About You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Your Scent is Key Lime

Sassy, real, and totally smooth

You're a total flirt who's always ready for a challenge!

What Scent Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

You Are a Sensitive Kisser

For you, kissing is a way to connect

And you need lot of care, attention, and privacy

It may take you a while to kiss someone...

But when you do, it's total fireworks

What's Your Kissing Style? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

You Are a Boy Shorts Bikini!

You're a sexy girl - but not the type that likes to let it all hang out.

You are in to a little of everything at the beach - swimming, tanning, playing

And when you're running around, you'll be sure your butt isn't falling out of your suit

What Kind of Bikini Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

i'll update later, lovely's<3
read [ 3 ] cmnt

Tiiiiime for an update ;-D [Tuesday
12:26pm June 21st]
[ mood | excited ]

Welllll, this week has been quite busy. Finals are really stressful, let me tell you. Tomorrow, all I have left is my Earth Science regent's exam, which should actually go pretty well. I got my english final back, and I got a 95 =D Today I took my math final, and that was actually increadibly easy =D

Uhh.. this week has been complete shit. My father and I got into this HUGE fight on.. uh, Sunday? And yeah.. basically I'm not going to see much of him anymore. I guess it's mostly good, but I'm going to miss Dante and all. I still am hoping he'll grow up like overnight or something and have the balls to call up and appoligize or something. Alyssa's devistated.. she's been in a shitty mood ALL week.

Anyways, yesterday I hung out with Max, Dan, and Phil. We balled it up for a while and just hung out. They're all awwwwwwwwesome guys, and we had a pretty dank time =D Uh.. and then something realllly exciting happened..

Yeah, Keenan and I are datinggggg =D=D=D=D I'm verrrrrry excited. He makes me coooomplete. I don't know.. feeilngs are definitely hard to explain. Everything about him feels right.. he's just right<3

Uhm, so yeah. Tomorrow's the LAST day of finals, fiiiinally. Then Thursday is moving up day and Colb, Lyss, and I are singing during it =D I'm realllly excited for the summer. It's going to be quite dank. Oh, and by the way...


Post, please =D

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Ask me what it's like to have myself so figured out x3 [Monday
10:06pm June 13th]
[ mood | crushed ]

1. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
2. I will then tell what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...
4. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
5. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
6. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll then ask you a random question about yourself.
8. Put this in your journal.

Okay.. back to EVERYTHING. I haven't updated this puppy in a loooong time. I miss it :-( Everything's been going by in like a freakin' blink of an eye. It's completely absurd.

Anyways, travel softball is going really good. Uhh.. I'm play 16U :-/.. but it's going pretty damn good :-)
I play 3rd and shortstop.. mostly third.. and I actually like it. I'm actually doing really good, surprisingly. I'm pretty proud of myself.

Lately I've been racking up my points in my self-esteem. That's exciting =D I've been tryyying to go on an intervention (haha Rae and Colby) and tryyying not to say ANYTHING negative about myself.. trying not to critisize myself or put myself down. I've actually been doing pretty good lately :-) I'm also trying to eat a bit more healthy and trying to get back into really good shape, like last year. I'm in reaaallly good shape, it's just that.. I'm so short and I've been waaaaiting to fucking growth spurt for the past 350 years. Oh well.. I'm planning on growing over the summer =D

Annnyways, finals are coming up. I'm realllly nervous. I'm starting to get in that stupid cranky mood when you're all stressticled out. It bloooows. Annnd, the end of the year is coming up. Like.. a week left =D=D=D=D I'm reallllllllly excited.

Uh.. I've decided that middle school relationships suck. I mean.. liking people, period, blows. I mean.. why can't you just telepathic eyes and brains and ears and stuff so you know what the guy's thinking?! I mean.. I'm stuck in between these twwooo guys and they're two toootally opposite people. It's weird.. but anyways, I've been thinking A LOT lately. Anyways, everything happens for a reason..

Thursday=Annie's//sleepover with the girls<3
Friday=Great Escape=Kickass :-)

And I don't know why.
I can't keep my eyes of off you.

read [ 47 ] cmnt

fuuuuck [Tuesday
11:19pm May 31st]
[ mood | tired ]

Which do you prefer?

Smart or dumb?
Blonde or brunnette?
Hot or beautiful?
Tall or short?
Wicked skinny or just right?
Chocolate or flowers?
Hold hands or make out?
Make out or cuddle?
Beautiful eyes or hot body?
Nice smile or hot ass?
Nice rack or nice ass?
Sexy or hot?
Make love or fuck?
Make out in the rain or on the bed?
Intercourse or anal?
Bulimic or anorexic?
Great personality or looks?
To be easy or to be easily teased?
Funny or sexy?
Boring and hot or very fun and decent looking?
Half empty or half full?
Lose your virginity to anyone or to someone special?
Roses or a poem?
Make love on the beach or fuck on the beach?
Make love on the beach or gang bang?
Fuck Tom DeLonge or Travis Barker?

Take it, please?!

read [ 17 ] cmnt

Haven't updated in a whiiiile :-p [Tuesday
5:43pm May 24th]
[ mood | indescribable ]

Wow. It's been quite long since I've updated this bad boy. Ahh.. my life is pretty boring, actually. Nothing exciting has gone on in like the past week, which is always wonderful :-) Weeell, softball is almost over, which I'm pretty excited about, unfortunately. I hated this season. My coach is a fucking biiitch ass. Anyways..

Yesterday's game=kickass =D
I had a reallly good game, which was exciting.
Not to brag or anything..
See, I had an RBI that brought in the last, winning run.
I cought the winning catch.
I'm just Dena Bruno.. and Dena does get it done.
What pissed me off the most is that coach didn't even fucking say anything to me about my game.. she always encourages and motivates and praises the other kids on my team when the do something "good," so why can't she do the same for me?!
Ahh.. I guess I'm not good enough for her.

Uhh.. travel started.
I'm on 16U :-/
The girls on my team are wicked nice and realllly helpful.
I think I'll actually play shortstop or 3rd, which is exciting, considering that's where I fucking SHOULD have played all fucking modified season!!
Ahh.. enough of my stupid complaining :-)

I'm going out with Neil =D =D =D
I know I've been skipping around and stuff.. but I think I've just been trying to find my inner self and shit.
I mean, I'm not a whore when I do it, it just kinda happens, I guess.
Some things work out, and then other things just don't..
Just aren't meant to be, perhaps..
I think this is meant to be :-)
I feel really.. comfortable and stuff around him.
I feel like I can really be myself around him without caring what he thinks.. knowing that he'll accept me for me.
That sure is a good feeling :-)
Having felt that way in a while<3

This weekend=formal shopping :-o
Looking forward to this!!
I think I'm going with Em, Colby, Rae, Angel, and Annie.. but I'm not quite sure yet.

There you go, Em and Colby. Is that good enough?

Pizost, please? :-)

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Dena.. is so cool she made her own survey. [Saturday
11:09am May 7th]
[ mood | calm ]

If you read this,
fill this out.
Be completely honest.
Please, I repeat PLEASE
do not post anonymously.

Dena is ______.

Dena and I are ______.

Dena's ______ is/are wonderful.

Dena can ______ very well.

You would ______ Dena.

You would give Dena ______ if you found out she was going to die.

On Dena's birthday, you would give her ______.

If you could do anything with Dena, it would have to be ______.

Dena can ______.

I ______ Dena.

.. I know this is very similar to another one, but it's a bit different.

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=) [Wednesday
6:37pm May 4th]
[ mood | sick ]

Man, I haven't updated this puppy in the looongest time. I've been quite busy with softball and all. Softball is going alright, I guess. Mrs. Samoranski's a bitch, yeah, but at the same time, she's magical. I was sick today and yesterday.. it blows. My throat, stomach, and head have been pretty whacked out lately. It reallly hurts when I swallow, but suppossidly my doctor said I tested negative for strep, which is good. I think I'm going back to school tomorrow, but I'm not sure. It really depends on if I'm feeling really light-headed when I wake up and all. I really miss everyone, though! Anyways, Max and I are going out, and I'm really happy about that. It's pretty awesome, because we're going out, and he's like my best friend, too, which makes it even more magical<3 Well, that's enough for now. Ohh yes, and I'm realllly missing Emily, because she's "that" awesome. Haha.

I love you, Max<3

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Hold your tounge, boy. [Sunday
2:29am April 24th]
[ mood | blah ]

Woooow, I can't believe break is almost over :-(
Today is my last day of everlasting freedom.
Freaking.. tomorrow is school :-(
Gaaah, this break was overwhelmingly fun.
I spent 6 straight days with my Annie<3
I miss Emily and Colby, though :-(
So glad Colby's back :-D
Emily's coming home Tuesday, and I can barely wait for her.
I bet they're overly tan and pretty :-)
SO excited to go back to school, actually.
I miss everyone :-(
Max is still in Vegas, and I miss him so much<3
Today's Passover seder, oh joy :-/
Actually, it's not that bad, once you think about it.
Josh, Alyssa, and I get to hang out all day, which is the good part.
The bad.. well, actually, pretty much all is bad.
There are about 9239582836834 prayers you must say BEFORE eating.
I'm rude during prayers, but I can't help it.
They're so funny sounding.. I just CAN'T control my laughter.
Haha.. well, I get to drink wine today, which is a good thing.
Eat a bunch of disgusting food :-(
Oh well, I'm trying to look on the bright side of things lately :-)
I made a new CD yesterday.. The Juliana Theory :-D
Making another one today, so long as Josh remembers my blank cd's :-)
Well, it's been fun.
I'm very excited because in May, my maja, Alyssa, and I are going to Florida.
My Great Grammy Dizzle is dying, so we want to see her before she completely goes..
In July for a week, my faja's family (along with my brother's girlfriend) are going to Florida.
We're having our own private little house with a golfcart
Dolphins swimming in the water
A beach about a half a mile from our beach house :-)
Yes, I'm very excited :-D
Looking forward to all these scrumptious vactations..
Well, enough said.


read [ 6 ] cmnt

<3 [Thursday
11:08am April 21st]
[ mood | optimistic ]

Today was a verrry dandy day. Well, first off, I spent the night at Annie's the other day and her maja brought us all to practice in the morning. At practice, all we did was batting practice because it was a beautiful day out and a wonderful day for hitting. I hit very wonderfully, I might add.. not trying to be conceited. I always hit them to 3rd base and/or left field, so coach is trying to teach me how to place the ball and shit. It's quite amazing, actually =)

Well, then Annie, Lyss, tu madre, and I went to McDonald's. I had chicken selects, biiitch<3 They were quite scrumptious. Anyways, then we went and picked up Daniel from his casa. We rode pimp style in the car and stuff, and then we arrived at Annie Dizzle's house. We first just chilled a bit and got ready.. then we went for a walk down town. I wanted to find a church really bad because I wanted to learn about my fellow Christian friend's religion. We went to every church in the god damned town and none were open. Daniel CLAIMS one was and he was being mean and didn't tell me, but I think he's lying<3 Anywhooos, then we went to JJ's and got some ice cream. I had an Oreo Flurry, of course<3 We talked the whole time and.. it was just so much fun<3 After that, we played on the swingset and such, which was dandy.

We got to Annie Dizzle's house and just hung out the rest of the night. We had CHICKEN for dinner and that was QUITE scrumptious. We had some muy comico conversations with Annie's maja. All in all, it was a wonderful day<3

Tomorrow, Britt, Timothy, and Daniel are coming over. I'm verry excited<3

Enouuugh for now =)

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<3 [Wednesday
12:42am April 20th]
[ mood | cranky ]

Wow. I'm fucking sick of being fucked over. I'm sick of things always blowing up in my face. It gets frustrating when all you're doing is trying to make a situation better and everyone around you just doesn't fucking understand. I'm sick of being called a fucking kike.. c'mon, guys, it's not funny :-( It hurts especially when you really are Jewish and when a fucking friend calls you a fucking kike.. puh-please, I'm sorry I take offense to that. Urgh, I'm just sick of waiting, too. It feels like everyone has this certain spark in life that I'm just completely missing. That I'm fucking totally oblivious to. Gah >:-( I'm tired of fucking trying to be the best at something when you know it's impossible to please the person you're trying to please. It's fucking annoying when you're trying your fucking best, and you know you're doing well, although the person you're trying to impress just doesn't seem to fucking understand/care. Well, I fucking care. I won't fucking give up on something I've been working at for a looong time. I have fucking confidence in myself, but everyone around me seems to fucking lack it in Dena. Noo, Dena's not good enough for this. She's not good enough for that. Well, fucking.. gahhh. I know I sound so god damn cynical.. I'll probably be accoused for "trying to get attention," although that is definitely not my intention. My intention is to express my feelings in order to relieve the pain/stress arousing in my fucking life. I'm sick of so much god damn waiting.. waiting for the right fucking person to come along and fucking believe in you. Waiting for the right person to believe in you. Waiting for that one person just to come along and knock you off your own mother fucking feet. Waiting for that one person just to fucking respect you. Most of all, to fucking love you. Just.. for that one fucking guy who will hold your hand. And touch you. And feel you. And fucking love you. Waiting for him just to come out and say.. I love you, darling. Damnit, that'll be the fucking day...

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Posting, finallllly [Saturday
8:30am April 16th]
[ mood | satisfied ]

Well, I've been pretty busy for the past weeks. Softball started, and it's actually going alright. Coach is quite a bitch, let me tell you. Buut, she's a pretty badass coach. She pisses me off a lot because first, she plays me at 3rd base. Then, she puts me at short and 2nd. Sometimes even left field, which I don't mind. Other than that, I love softball. It's more fun because Bri is on the team and everything. She keeps everything exciting :-)

Anyways, Spring Break started yesterday, and I must admit, it doesn't feel like break at all. I feel like it's just another weekend and I have to go back to school Monday. But, we all know I don't =) No one's really home this weekend.. all of the guys are at Binghamton for a basketball tourney<3 Last night I hung out with Devin. We.. just hung out at the house and with Colby for like an hour. I really miss her :-( She's going to get my love when she comes back<3 Emily left, too, and let me tell you.. she's GREATLY missed. I miss her abnoxious 23959326884868345 laughs<3 They both have an important place in my heart, and without them.. eh. I'm sad :-( Oh well, they'll be back next week. I'll have to get over it.. Anyways, today Keenan decided to wake me up today at 11:15 in the morning. I was still sleeping, but I decided to be nice and wake up. We hung out at my house for a bit and then went to Brian's house. Buuuut he wasn't home.. and we walked about 92395936885 miles just to get there. Yeah, and then we went to Stewart's to get some soda, while Keenan went to CVS and bought me some mascara. Can you believe it, he knew what Mabeline was.. and mascara. Like woah. Anyways, then Alyssa and I hung out with Matt for a while. We went to Memory Lane and I had an Oreo Flurry<3333 Yuuum 8-) Dan and I were suppossed to chill today, although I guess he decided to ditch me :-( Kidding, i love you<3

Tomorrow, I think Annie's sleeping over<3 I can't wait :-) I hope it's as beautiful outside as it was today :-)

Enough for now<3

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