IS ANYONE OUT THERE?
Anyways the last two nights of my life were practically perfect. I hope nothing comes back to bite me in the ass.
I am doing what I have said I'd never do and that is to give up. I am not giving up everything, though, the only thing a girl can have is hope. Hope has given me many great memories but it is also the one thing that has caused me much dissapointment and grief.
I have tried to make you see me as I see me and as others do and you have always turned your head. You have seen others before me and you will surely see others after me. I can no longer put forth the effort I have. I worry that in my giving up, our friendship will end completely, taking me even farther than I want to be with you.
I have questioned my feelings, ignored them, and replaced them but the feeling has never truly left me. Let me put in words what I have always wanted to say but could never find the strength to..
I WANT TO BE WITH YOU! I love everything about you! I love that you are outspoken, unique, trustworthy and kind. I love that you consider others feelings and you also show that you can be a great friend. I love that you listen as much as you talk and that you are opinionated and intelligent. I love the way you smile and the way you walk. I love the words you put together for conversation and your honesty. I love your eyes and the happiness I see in them. Everything about you that can meet the eye has quickly become the apple of mine. There isn't much about you I can find defect in and even if I could, I wouldn't want to. I hope that you can find someone that you feel this way about that thinks all of the above about you. Someone that sees you through my eyes and falls hopelessly and madly in love with the person that I have had the chance to meet and know.
I wish you would have given me the time to show you how great I am and how great we could and should be together. I no longer believe that is ever going to happen so, it is finally time for me grow up and move on. I think I am at a point of acceptance. The entire mess has left me feeling ashamed and ridiculous but I am not afraid of this anymore. This is my closure.
I will always hold a small place for you in my heart and will always hold on to what never was much of anything, except inside me own little head.
if i had one wish
we would be best friends
love would never end it would just begin
if i had one wish
you would be my boo
promise to love you
trust me i'll trust you
i'd make you my whole life.