Tags: jake's letter

a long awaited peice of freedom.. is released..

For whatever reason it may be, it's weird that now his blogs kinda throw a attention on our past. He labeled me a bestfriend when I don't even feel that way anymore, he was probably speaking in past terms. I'll never forget the last time I saw him, and the feeling going through my mind- that this was it, we'll never see eachother again. I would bring this feeling..this memory while last night, going through my photography getting negatives out to work with. Pictures from where he lived were ones that kept me steady on through, then I adventured to find one missing from the album, asking myself where is it.. to only remember that a good friend of mine wanted a picture of him and I because "i'll never see you with such a good looking guy who's perfect for you ever again, this is MY memory of him." and now I don't even talk too her anymore. :-/

High school was the time to meet friends, and then by the time of Graduation it's time to just say goodbye to friends because you'll never speak to them again. That is where he kinda stands.

He wanted me basically out of his life, which hey I got the hint after 4 months. Now he's happier then ever with another girl, who probably does it better for him then I would have never. I risked so much for him, and I got what I deserved; a broken heart. But like he mentioned, he hasn't broken his promise yet and that makes me happy. Knowing that, seriously overjoys all my feelings because I still know he thinks of me, and hopefully see's I wasn't out there to hurt him or scare him, I was there just to be his friend and things got to become more then they should have. I wish I could've taken that trip to Texas to see Bille, so I could have seen him. I wish I honestly could change things that one night in Texas, not the whole night- just one aspect of it. We shouldn't have done what we did, it fucked out entire friendship up. Prom would've gone alot smoothier then it did.. and March 1st in that airport.. god.. probably more words would have been said. I miss that kid, I miss him alot and there is not a day that goes by I don't think, 'what is he doing, what is he thinking, i hope he's happy' because I'm learning so much from moving away from him and hey sometime when I'm working for that record company and I go to travel to find those bands, maybe I'll hit up the Woodlands and maybe the band I was sent to look at is his band... You never know right? Just chuckle now Big Bird, just go ahead I know you want too.

I guess overall, this was something to open his eyes if he ever read it, because those were some good times. The best times of my life, in high school. You stood by me when I needed to stay above ground. You were the bestest bestfriend I could ever ever had but good things must come to and end and that is where we are. Just so you know, I haven't been able to watch Lilo and Stitch since that night. Haven't gone back to Swift Park since that night. I also haven't had Chocalote covered strawberries better than that! lol But I have gone back to the Riverfront, and did a photo shoot there.. and took a picture of the door.. the style that was taken of you and I at Prom.. and I chuckled at the picture and it's on my wall in place of that very picture. You're a great guy, always know that. Never forget that. I wish things could be alot different and we can talk like the good ole' days but it'll never happen.

I start college in like 1 month, 7 days. I look forward too it, and I'm just going to come out about it.. I still care for him more then anything else right now. My Mom's aware of it because when it comes to new guys entering my world, they don't stay long at all.. that's way Brandon is a challenage and has yet to understand you go 3 days without calling me when you said 3 days ago you would call.. we got issues..and I can flat out tell him, he would have never done that. Fuck me comparing them, it'll make him wake up the next time we do talk..which now I doubt will be awhile. I GUESS all next week is fucked up now, hmm.. But anyhow..I have a message just for you to read. Well, everyone can read it but only he would know what I'm talking about.

These letters to you, are all I have written..Collapse )