Tags: blehh

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I guess last night was uhm, not good for everyone. My cell wouldn't stop going off and it drove me nuts because I had felt like complete crap. To the extent, I started ignoring calls and for all those that really know me; I never do that. EVER. I was just pissed off with so much shit going on, and shit running through my mind and I felt so alone. It just sucked. I couldn't stop shaking and tremoring for awhile, it got so bad I couldn't sleep after 4am. I couldn't stop crying, it was just like whoaa.

In general, I am having a short patience phase. I do not want to put up with shit, and if I have to be in the position to do it; I fight it to the core. Like tonight, I GOT WRITTEN UP?!? But I told Paul I refuse to sign it. It was so stupid. I'll admit and I know Jake is going to read this is get upset; I pulled two days ago and then I pulled again last night. I am just confused. I am so lost, and scared; this trip needs to come faster. I think spending time with Orion on Thursday will be much needed. I need that sense of my friends, because I'm getting so busy I come home and just want to sleep. So, Thursday- Orion and I are going around Wilmington, and I'm taking picture of him and just spending time with a good friend of mine. I'm picking him up from school and were just going to go and then I'll drop him off at 415ish and then head to campus and load the pictures and such, and head to my night class. Orion's already having a bad week himself, and we kinda need this laughter and fun.

Happier note is, in class today we went up to the Hercules building in inner city of Wilmington and shot around there. I got some amazing photography, Susan was really impressed that she's letting me take out the camera on THURSDAY for when I go out with Orion. SHE NEVER DOES THAT. She told us to never even ask, ha. But I did, chancing it and she said I know what I'm doing and yes. :) Made me happy. Brian drove Kristen and I, and that was fun. Man, his Scion is awesome. Even though we cut off maddd people because WES IS FUCKING CRAZY DRIVING. Mike didn't show up to class today though :-/ so Terry sat next to me and we were talking a bit. I'll post the shots tomorrow, I didn't get a chance to load them. OH, Mom deleted my Early November shots of the digi, oh well.

I work ALL day on Sunday. I'm babysitting for like, 7-8 hours. I'm getting like 90 bucks out of it. I'm like inching closer to the tattoo. Cause I'm also babysitting on October 8th aswell, and they said they have quite a few more dates for me. :) Maybe another 4 babysitting things and I'll have my 300 bucks for the tattoo then maybe, I can smile because I need some fucking ink done too me. Bobby laughed at me tonight, when I said that.

But whatever. I'm going to lay down, I'm tired and I still haven't finished some stuff for class tomorrow; now that I'm not allowed to babysit Joey and made 50 bucks- I'm going to class. UGH.


ps: thanks friend for the message, I wasn't too hot at all last night but I'm doing a little better now. 4m28d. :)

eh, my star dude looks like he's pmsing..lol
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