Tags: angry entry

repeat me another purpose; this is my response..

So, I'm pretty much in deep thought. A very deep thought that its to the point, tears are silently flowing out of my eyes. Why must it be, that when in coversation with friends of mine.. they must bring his name up. I was in the Shell station by work this morning, and I ran into a friend of mine that graduated last year and I haven't seen in forever. We stood talking as I was filling my car up and he was filling is up and he was like, How's Jake doing? I'm like uhh well I guess.. He's like you two, still like talk like before right? I'm like, eh not as much. He's like why not? You two were like best friends. I'm like uhh we fell apart. He's like, oh I'm sorry. I was like, yeah me too. We exchanged numbers and said we'd hang out soon and then I left.

All day long it's really gotten inside my skin that seniors before me, still question him. I'm surprised it didn't go all through the area that him and I stopped talking and shit as of last June. But I guess not. I guess everyone is still stuck into the fact, we were the "picture perfect pair" at Prom. LMAO. What makes it even MORE hilarious is that what was it? Two weeks ago? A friend of mine decided it'd be FUNNY to hand me back a picture of him and I she took from me.. It's so sad. Then others ask me, will I ever be myself again and you know what I'm tired of it. I'm sick and tired of my life being the question if I'm going to be alright. I'm doing peachy as we speak. I have alot of shit going on, but I still make my own moments of happiness and that is when I'm at a show..with friends..doing photography for bands or just myself. I just am like, what the fuck. It gets so old after awhile, and I'm just like alright this is flipping gay. It seriously is.

Then I also question other stuff.. and I've came to the conclusion I'm about to flick the world off. lol My mother was laughing at me when I said this. It just seems like everywhere I go, if you know me you must question my past. Must question is it was lies or not.. or if I'm in a better frame of mind. Well, my answer too you is..

YES. OHMYGOD. I SO LIED ABOUT MY PAST. WE WERE NOT BEST FRIENDS. HE WAS JUST MY PIMP. HAHAH. I PAID HIM TO COME TO PROM WITH ME. you'reee so gayy. and you know who you are, sir. [not you chris]


I'm off to paint, because right now that just seems like the best thing to do. Entertain me, call me if you'd like. Cell number is in the profile, but if you call to say anything from above then I will just hang up. I just spent 3 hours basically cleaning my room..and now I'm going to probably mess it up just by painting. Eh, oh well. I need time to release my stress.

Oh, and if I offended anybody--I'm not sorry I'm just tired of hearing the same shit on repeat. You stupid jackasses. If you got an issue with my livejournal, then don't read it. If you got an issue with me, then don't bother thinking I'm around because I don't need you in my life; you are allowed to come and go..It just only happens once.

Have a nice night all, and don't let the door hit you in the ass. mkthanks!

It's on the cutting room floor, Footage of this mess, Filmed then packages and ready to sell, Betrayal..Betrayal, it rips right through me, How you lied right to me, Betrayal..Betrayal, You used to live in a memory, Now those pictures are burning..now..