(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

why do i even try anymore.
im leaving chatsworth pretty much for sure, it's just a matter of time. once me and stephanie are gone all of the drama we carry along will leave as well. remember everyone, we are the "center of dramma."
thanks everyone. thanks for showing you care. don't comment telling me you do, because there are only two people that actually care. i've lost the person that means most to me, and there is no way of regaining the friendship that we once had. i've apoligized a million times and i don't need to anymore. whateverr. kthanksbye.

I can't explain the way im feeling,
The pain that is runnning threw my heart,
The emptiness left inside of me,
Is ripping me apart.
My body is lying on the floor,
My eyes are the brightest of red,
The bottle of pills are empty,
It shouldnt be long before im dead.
My body is feeling shaky,
As i gasp reaching for air,
I'm realizig my life is coming to an end,
It doesnt seem like anyone would care.
I was trying to get rid of the pain,
My fake smile was fading away,
Maybe if you would have accepted who i am,
I might have chose to stay.
I know you all think I've changed,
But im trying to let myself show,
And if you will not accept me for that,
Then maybe its time for me to go.
Im sick of trying to be someone I'm not,
Sick of trying ot be what u want to see,
Sick of playing games with my heart,
I just want to be the real me.
I guess i wont have time to find myself,
Because it's time for me to say good bye
Who thought "the girl who has everything"
would actually want to die.

i wrote that last year, but it applys more now that ever.

(no subject)

christmas was probally the best one i've had. i start driver's ed on february 15th. i got a new coach and juicy purse. a juicy charm bracelet. i got a lot of clothes from abercrombie and really cute leg warmers. the cutest pj's and undies from victorias secret, a mini ipod, and much more. i love my family right now. i am so happy.=] =]

(no subject)

i'm sorry about my last entry. sorry if i scared any of you. i know most could really care less if i died but whatever, just let me try to explain myself. i feel as though a whole part of me is missing. when he left me he took everything that ever made me happy. he was the greatest thing to ever happen to me and the whole time we were together i took advantage of that and everything we had for granted. i didn't realize how lucky i was to have such an amazing person come into my life. i didn't realize my feelings were SO strong towards him. I didn't know feelings like that were even possible. From the moment i met him i knew that there was something special between us. I just didn't think something so wonderful could end in such a horrible way. i've been trying SO hard latley to be strong and just move on like everyone tells me to do. but moving on is probally the hardest thing i'll ever have to do in my life. it's not that easy to just let go of the person you love. i just wish i could go back to last night and take back what i said. i didn't mean to offend him, i didn't mean to hurt his feelings. it's my fault for feeling the way i do, because i am the one in total control of it. i am so incredibly sorry. i just wish he could try to understand where i am coming from. Put yourself in my shoes for once, feel the way i feel 24/7 and cry like i do each night. it's not as easy as it seems. god. jarod, i still love and miss you more than anything in the world. i hope you can forgive me. =[=[
  • Current Music
    none.

(no subject)

you held my heart once, and then you let it shatter.
somehow i gave it to again, and to you it doesn't even matter.
you've got my hopes held up high, don't drop them again.<3


i guess i already had my second chance last night. it didn't last long but whatever. nothing has changed. i hope time is getting better for you.&&really i think taking time off is probally the worst thing that we could do to our relationship, because you've changed SO much. whatever. love=bullshit. i love you </33 goodbyeee. ahh. i made a new userpic. i hope you all like it!<333 break has been a lot of fun&& i hope you are all having a good timee! i'm excited about tonightt. yaya.<3 &&one more thing. FUCK YOU BiTCH! =]=] the end.
  • Current Music
    my cool annoying voice.

(no subject)

Leave me an ANONYMOUS comment with:

The First Letter of your Name:
One Compliment:
Lyrics to a song that reminds you of me:
How long we've been friends:
And a hint as to who you are:
  • Current Music
    none<3