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08 July 2006 @ 02:30 pm
Uh oh.

If anyone's going to the fourth floor, er..just...be careful. Don't slip in anything, and whatever happens do NOT MAKE TOO MUCH NOISE.

it's very important.

feeling: lethargicoh shite.
13 June 2006 @ 09:59 pm

I could say how lovely my night out with Dorcas was. I really could. I could say that she's a wonderful girl and that I really like her a lot, but somehow I wouldn't be able to give it the justice it deserves. It's all happened at once, and I don't want the magnificent Dorcas's name to be obscured.


I've ruined things. I've caused James to ruin things with the love of his life. I've made him keep secrets, I've made him stay. I can't do it anymore. I can't. I don't know why I did, and I don't know...I don't know anything.

Except that I've hurt too many to let this just slide by. I have to fix it.

..If Lily will talk to me. Which could be the real problem, as she probably despises me more than I can possibly imagine.


new years resolution: to do my homework more often.
new years resolution: to use those rollerskates Dorcas got me.
new years resolution: to make this year the best anyone's seen before.
feeling: depresseddown and out
24 May 2006 @ 05:38 pm

Christmas is just so much better these days. I am beyond glad that I don't have to stand seeing most of my family flinch when they see me. Or roll their eyes. Oh, and those family gatherings? They suck, too.

But somehow I get the crazy notion that it might be less awkward if I weren't here, with James. And Lily.

How long is this going to go on?


[private: Prongs]

So, you never told me how long Lily was going to be staying. I'd sort of like to know. So it can put it on my calendar.


[private: Dorcas]

Hallo. Happy Christmas, by the way! Are you up for muggle London? Please tell me you are. Becauseeee James and Evans are getting gross and I need to get out of here before I make myself sick.


feeling: cheerfulcheerful
28 April 2006 @ 07:57 pm

It's so aggravating sometimes. I mention slightly that what we're doing is just not on [because really, it's not] and then he goes and makes me worry sick. Like I'M the villain here. I mean, I am, but it's hard to tell him he's wrong when he reverts to eleven-year-old James and just outright refuses to listen.

But I love that bastard more than I can say. He's just too important to really worry about the future with.

It's becoming more and more apparent that my conscience hates me and wishes for me to ruin everything and make a whole load of people unhappy. I can't keep forcing James to be around me. I can't do that to Lily, she's worth much more than..whatever this is. Isn't she?

She is. James knows that. He's known it for ages, hasn't he? I never believed him. I just thought she was cruel for constantly turning him down. But then I got to know her.

And now I just feel like a spectacularly right git.

I can't give him what he wants. A wife. A family. But what if I have to let him go?



I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts.

Dee da le dee.
feeling: crushedcrushed
hearing: me, singing.
11 April 2006 @ 11:45 am
Amazing, how he can just do whatever he likes whenever he likes and yet I can't even talk to his girlfriend without him getting moody.

James is so lucky that I can't hate him.

[Hexed: To all friends of one James Potter. James himself can't read it, haha.]


James is expecting a bash and I have NO idea what to do. I'm really rubbish with this sort of thing.

It's such short notice, and he's a demanding bugger.. It'll have to be in the commons..Maybe the grounds. Would we need a theme? And it'll have to be something to be celebrated. Going to have to make a trip to Hogesmeade.. Does anyone have any ideas that could help, here?

Oh, and by the way:

You're all invited.

Don't bring Slytherins.
Do bring food/presents/good attitude/pretty girls.

Right. Thanks.



Homework really, really blows.
feeling: apatheticapathetic
31 March 2006 @ 03:39 pm

Glad whatever unpleasantness between us is over now. Felt like a prat.

Been seeing so much of James, it's a mystery how I've managed to get anything done. But, it's a good mystery. One that makes me think about it. A lot.

I'm not going to jinx it.


SO. Ravenclaw's going to be smoked like an expensive cigar in the next Quidditch match. Sorry folks, it's just how it is. I'm sure you're upset but there's no changing it. I mean. You can try, but it'll be to no avail. Call it confidence.

Also, just so you lot know, Severus Snape is a rotten tosser. But that's obvious.
feeling: bouncybouncy
hearing: dillinger four

I am an enormous, selfish prat, doing this to him.
I can't even look at him.
It's bothering me more now.
There are no words.

And I can't turn to drinking, like he can.
I do have that gillyweed..
Some night.


I randomly lost my trainer today. It was beside my bed last night, but now it's gone. I looked all over for it, under my bed, in my trunk, beside Pete's stuff, but no luck. It's gone. Into the void. Lost forever and ever and ever. It was a good trainer, too, I bought it with my own money, the first time I ever did so and it was worth it. They were black and canvas and had white soles and there was a little circle with the name "Chuck" in the circle and I dunno who the hell Chuck is but I like the shoes and now one is gone and I looked everywhere and its just not fair, no luck, nothing of the sort, unjust and whathaveyou.
Know what else is random? My bed is very uncomfortable this year. I've never really noticed it before but it's sort of cold and damp and so isolated from everyone else and I always feel like they don't want me around when I go to it because it's away and cast aside and Jamesisn'tinit I just remembered how lame it is now.
Merlin, I hate sleep. Which is good because it's not like I've been getting a lot of it anyway and I don't even mind, not one bit but it is rather awkward to just be lying in my cold damp isolated bed for a few hours staring at the canopy before realising that sleep is not going to be happening and then having to get out of bed and go to the common room and do something to take my mind off of him how I can't sleep so then I do a crossword but everything reminds me of I can never think of the right words, you know? Isn't that the worst? It is the worst. Simply awful. Deadful business.

Oh wait, there's my trainer.

Problem solved.
feeling: distresseddistressed
hearing: blink-182 - going away to college
12 March 2006 @ 08:12 pm

For the rest of the day, my name is Sirius Olivia Black.


Thanks to Dorcas for swapping middle names with me.

She's sort of amazing like that, you know.
feeling: bouncybouncy
12 March 2006 @ 11:37 am
[Private: James]

Hey, you. I won't be around for the next couple of weeks. You're going to have to entertain yourself, Merlin Forbid.


[Private: Marauders]


Mates, I've got detention every night for two weeks straight. AND, she says it's gonna be something different every night. If I have to clean suits of armour...there will be hell to pay.

In my absense I'll need you lot to think of a defencive strategy, yeah? I know the Slytherins plan on getting back at us. I just don't know how or when or what. I'll leave that to you.

Good luck, soldiers.


So, okay, yes.

After seven different wounds, cuts, scrapes, and gouges in seven different spots on my body, I've decided to give up swordfighting.

For now

I'm sure most of you are disappointed. Well, you all can stuff it.

I'm gonna go lick my wounds and make the girls in the common room feel bad for me. That always makes me feel better.
feeling: exanimateexanimate
hearing: digger - blocked up
07 March 2006 @ 08:57 pm

As much as I love senseless snogging and James not letting me leave his room ever.

He must not be telling me something. He calls me over the mirror and DEMANDS that I go see him. When I do he's inexplicably happy and he won't tell me why. He can't just be so normally elated, can he? That's not Prongs! That's not on!

And here I am, worrying over nothing that it has to do with Lily, which it probably does. Should I be happy? He's been after her for YEARS. Should I be upset? He's MINE. And I'm going to prove that to him.

No one can know that he was involved with the prank. It could ruin his status as Head Boy, I don't want that.

And Remus and Hestia? I don't even want to think about that. I mean, I believe Remus. He would have told me, wouldn't he?

They're both my friends. And I believe Remus when he says nothing happened, and he didn't mean for anything to look like it happened.

Reckon I'll just stay here and be uncomfortable for awhile. And poossibly go see James tonight. Again.


[private: everyone except Slytherins]

Colours will wear off the Slytherins within the next few days, so just hold on and laugh while you can.

If you get blame, point it at me, okay? Just me. No one else was involved.



Miiichellleee, ma belle. Sont des mots qui vont tres bien enselmble, tres bien ensemble.

You know how it is.

[insert sound of crickets here]
feeling: apatheticapathetic
hearing: the beatles in my head.