(no subject)

i swear to god...as much as it always hurts that thomas left me for this bitch off world of warcraft, i still want him. what the hell is wrong with me?! i love him to death still but i told myself if i ever got back with him, there would be sooo many consequences and agreements. and i know he wouldnt comply with. well whatever.. im in fairbanks now..im renting this room on college road. just a hop, skip and jump from bentley. the store has been pretty crazy lately. my boss is going psycho! but thats ok..i got today and tomorrow off. speakin of i need to go get my contacts at walmart. oh yeh

before i forget
so i was screwing around with cl and ended up talking to this guy named erik. hes a emt from the army. i havent met him yet but i bet i will today or tomorrow. hes pretty tasteful looking(well to me)but him playing WoW totally sets me back like 10 yards away. well i better get up and start the day. call me 2303085 or text

(no subject)

so thomas already found a girlfriend that he thinks hes in love with. her names heather and i was right..he would fall for this girl from his WORLD OF WARCRAFT!! yeh whatever..im having a lot of trouble with finding an apartment in fairbanks. i think ill be staying at a hotel for a while.

im to tired and pissed off to write anymore.

(no subject)

im moving to fairbanks!! they are opening a urban vibe there and i was offered the manager position so i took it. since thomas broke up with me last wednesday. so time to move. idk where im moving to quite yet but ill figure it out next week. ttyl lj


i cant help it. ill always be paranoid. always. and thomas will never warm up to the idea because he thinks that i have to change in order for us to be together. robert and chris were 2 people that i fell for hard..really hard. and they did me wrong. they did right infront of me. so i get affraid that thomas is going to be like that. i cant help it. i really cant. i can not trust ANY guy-i dont like him talking to anyone on his stupid game because i dont know who the fuck they are. there was a chick not to long ago that told him "im playing in my underwear and bra and i dont know why" uh yeh,,that makes me even more paranoid. the girls you talk to are slutty bitches. so tonight i just asked him ONCE, please dont talk to anyone tonight.

my reason-last night i had a really hurtful scary dream. yeh i know it was a dream but it still scares the LIVING hell out of me. i dremt that thomas dropped me and sarah off at the mall and he picked up some girl right after he dropped us off and we met up with someone who said she saw him in the car with a girl who he was flirting with. its not something i wanted to dream about it. it just happened. i hate him.
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    angry angry

a better update

i work at jc penneys as a commission suit sales associate! its pretty kickass. my last paycheck was $689! it was good. me and thomas are going to move upstairs to a 2 bedroom apartment next month. along with that we went furniture shopping....well more looking and getting an idea then shopping but it worked out good. we also have a new cat if you didnt know. his names char. i love char! hes watching my type right now.

more of a deeper insight. ive been getting so sick of my friends lately! getting more and more aggravated everyday! none them want to hang out or even return my phone calls. i called up my sister last night and talked to her about it. she said it happens. but why? why should that ever happen? why cant friends just stay..friends? not the type that need you when they want you and then get out when they have there solutions! come on! just augh!! its hard to find "real" anymore. today i was supposed to hang out with someone ive known since like 4 or 5 years ago and he said he would call me if he thought of anything to do. guess not! but, whatever. i did my best to live up to there problems and help, whens shit going to be in return?
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    annoyed annoyed