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(1 <3 ryan. | show some love.)

[21 Sep 2005|08:25pm]
[ mood | content ]

Alright well today was extremely boring...
i didnt go to school and stayed home the whole day
i talked to chris and katie over the internet though and that was pretty cool
they might move back and chris might live with me
that would be cool too considering im always bored and have noone to talk to here
I heard Thrice's new song Image of the Invisible and i don't really like it..
maybe it will grow on me though
I'm going to hangiout with kevin tonight and im so happy
i havent seen that kid in like a month and miss him alot
i hate school thats one of the reasons why i decided not to go today... i really wish i picked tomorrow though cause kevin doesnt work and has class at 5 so yea fucking lame!
I dont feel much differently abnout having a phone... the internet kind of sucks and i havent really wanted to talk on the phone lately... but i dont know...
I've been thinking alot lately though and think i've changed alot within the last couple of weeks i don't know if that's good or bad... i think not seeing kevin has kind of made me more independent i guess...
but i really do miss him alot...
We basically can't be considered best friends anymore...
I think we've both changed alot which is going to make tonight wierd
i don't know... im extremely happy at the moment though/
tomorrow should be interesting... i dont plan on going to bed till late and i'm going to be really tired
ALK3 in a week from now...
reggie should be pretty cool to see also....
too bad mcr has to be greedy fags and not have enough respect open for the trio...
i dont not like them as much as i think i should... i really don't
my clean house i think is a huge factor to my happiness to so im going to keep it clean and free from dumbasses who like to smoke pot i.e. my brothers lame ass friends/my brother...
this was a longer entry then planned but im done now

(1 <3 ryan. | show some love.)

[20 Sep 2005|08:53pm]
[ mood | blank ]

Well hello...
I know i havent updated in the longest time... but really it's not my fault.. well i guess some of it is buit i haven't had a phone for the longest time... but alot of things have happened within the last couple of weeks first off.... i live basically all by myself and it is extremely lonely... everyone i know smokes pot and it is extremely annoying and dissapointing when the few friends i've known since middle school all of the sudden think it is alright to do that when a year ago they were soo extremely against it... fuck... oh and i try to throw barbeques now... but since saturday i dont think i want to ever again because they are extremely lame...so yea i dont know... i am extremely glad that i have my phone back now though... :) because i can talk to certain people again (danae/tori) so hopefully one of them get on tonight because so far they havent and i got my hopes up :(... but yea i dont know i might update soon again but i really don't want to right now so im gong to go...
Goodnight :)

(show some love.)

[05 Aug 2005|03:19pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Well today i woke up (around 230) in a pretty bad mood... but now im in a great mood for like the first time in week or something... i found out im going to visit my aunts in la and get out of this shitty town :D... oh and as far as the rbf concert went... it was a fun drive... but we never saw them we got a flat a half hour away so yea lame but ohwell im over it... i guess me and justin are going to see the alkaline trio in san diego in september... hopefully this time i accually go.. vince already knows he can't so that won't be a problem haha... well i don't know what else to write so i'll make a list of good and bad things :)

x.I think Someone is mad at me or just wants nothing to do with me.. which would be worse
x.My house can't stay clean for 24 hours
x.I'm the only one who cleans my house
x.I might only be able to stay a few days in la
x.I only have 4 dollars and have a million things i need to buy
x I can't burn cd's for some reason

o.I will probably be out of town for a whole week
o.I'm going golfing tomorrow (probably)
o.Kevin will be back by the time i get back
o.I'm leaving sunday

I just watched the movie Equilibrium and it is one of my favorite movies now
I really want a new book to read... I'm thinking hot water music by charles bukowski but i haven't really heard anything about it so i don't know..
Oh and my two new favorite trio songs are "Dead End Road" and "Old School Reasons"
That's all I most likely won't update for atleast a week but i might update saying how my vacation was when i get back...

(1 <3 ryan. | show some love.)

[23 Jul 2005|02:50pm]
[ mood | Surprised/Wierded out ]

So basically lots of shit has gone down lately... all lame ass drama and it has basically made me really sad... whatever i dont even want to get into it so im updating to say that im going to see rbf catch 22 and punchline tonight in anehiem and its going to be bad ass... something that might make me happy for a little while... but thats all ill update on how it went probably tomorrow

(1 <3 ryan. | show some love.)

[17 Jul 2005|01:43pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Dear Journal,
Alright well this isnt going to be a very long post
Cause i don't have much to write about...
In the past week i have basically done nothing
Two of the people who i usually hangout with arent aloud(sp) over
Their parents think my house is like some horrible place or something
It doesnt make me very happy but ohwell...
and i guess i have to appologize to one of their parents for lying
but i only did so she wouldnt get be mad at me/be shipped to her moms...
Oh well i guess i should appologize i wouldnt want someone to lie to me abot where my daughter was...
Anyways yea ive been pretty sad lately
Cause i havent really hungout with anyone for the last 3 days
Truthfully i'm getting sick of living by "myself"
My mom has been home maybe 3 hours out of the whole week
I swear this isnt an exageration
Maybe its lame but i miss her... alot
And so my dad and my brother are in L.A. right now
I wasnt aloud to go because i have summer school
The only reason why my brother can go is because he refused to go or ditched summer school
I think my dad just hates the fact that i didnt come crawling back but i dont know
I really want to get out of this town even for just like a day or something

On a happier note me and kevin did hangout for a little bit last night
He got home around 1 last night though cause he had to work late
So we didnt do anything really except watch a movie...
and hes at work now but he gets off at 5 so we might accually be able to hangout or something
But i think we'll go see like Charlie and the choclate factory or something...
And Rachel will probably go too so yea i don't know
I think that i might be able to go to lunch with my mom tomorrow which will be nice
but I've had plans to go to lunch with her the past three days
and she always has something better to do or is sick or something
I think if i was sick i would stay home instead of going out to get drunk or hangout with some guy
well this is alot longer then i was planning on it being
i guess i have more things im thinking about then i thought.... if that makes sense
well farewell

p.s. im halfway through reading The Perks Of Being A Wallflower...its my third time reading it.It is definately my favorite book but maybe only because its the only book ive read for a while... i dont know but if you havent read it i suggest you do its amazing.

(show some love.)

[09 Jul 2005|12:04am]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

Alright today was pretty fun but now im bored and not tired at all and the 3 people i normally hangout with are on the other side of town... hmmmm ohwell maybe ill be tired when im done with this update haha...
ok so i guess ill start by saying what ive done today
well i woke up at kevin's from the alarm at 9 and layed there and fell back asleep...
I didnt end up getting up untill around 1215 (Lame)
Then we played video games for a good 2, 2 and a half hours (Rad)
Then around 3 we went and got his check and cashed that...
Mistaked someone for someone else when i was 3 Ft. away (Embarassing)
Took a shower and got changed cause i was extremely dirty
Then Kevin and Rachel picked me up and we went bowling (Interesting)
Then we ate at Denny's (awesome)
Then we went to rachels house and me and kevin renamed all the unknown songs on rachels new labtop (fun)
Then we left around 9 to the movies where we saw Fantastic 4
Which was alright different then i expected though (also interesting)
So yea after the movie i got dropped off at my house to find my door to my room locked
this was strange cause i never lock anything in my house
if you wanted to you could walk in and take something and id probably watch you do it without a care
so yea anyways it was locked so i had to get in via window...
when i got in everything was different and someone messed with all my stuff... im guess it was kody and chris..
So yea here i am now writing about my semi boring different day.

Update on unrelated topics:
Kody and Jessica are finally back together... it took them long enough
Chad is at some shoot for 4 days
Im still not tired
The situation with her is giving me second thoughts on giving up
i need to make up my mind
well i dont really no what else to write about...
im tired of being a third wheel :(
i appologize for the long pointless post...


(4 <3 ryan. | show some love.)

[07 Jul 2005|02:13pm]
[ mood | blank ]

It has been around 3 weeks since my last entry and i think thats way to long to go without making an entry... so yea im going to fill in the last tyhree weeks they were very boring and nothing happened... thats it :) haha no im kidding but i didnt do much.. the most exciting thing ive done was go to magic mountain with Justin,and Danny and Jimmy (whom I'd never meant before... and we met tyeesa and her little brother there... that was rad collosus and "x" rock... and i also went airsofting and cut my nuckles really bad and then later that day i lit the same hand on fire while making bombs/messing with firework powder stuff...So yea thats basically it... i issed my second of 3 absences aloud in summer school today but yea thats all the exciting stuff thats happened every other day me chris and kody and jasey stayed up all night at my house last night we made a boat out of my couches though and a lady walked into my house at 2 in the morning randomly to ask if she could use a phone and then yea it was really wierd but yea i wonder what people would think if they just walked in my house cause we tried making a tent and then we couldnt get a big enough blanket so we made it into a sail and it turned into a boat... not to mention it was like 110 degrees in my house and all 4 of us were bundled up in blankets like it was 10 degrees well yea thats basically it...oh and i finally saw elephant and love the movie its soo good... well yea thats it. Love You :)

P.S. I think i finally give up... I cant ask for more then to just be her friend. I wonder how im going to stop having feelings for her though hmm... well farewell :S

(3 <3 ryan. | show some love.)

[15 Jun 2005|05:12pm]
[ mood | morose ]

Do this...

1.Your Name:
2. Age:
3. Fave Color:
4. Fave Movie:
5. Fave Song:
6. Fave Band:
7. Most Embarassing Moment:
8. Are you a virgin?

HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...

1. Are we friends?

2. Do you have a crush/attracted to me?

3. Would you kiss me?

4. ...with tongue?

5. Would you enjoy it?

6. Would you ever ask me out or go out with me if I ask you out?

7. Would you make a move on me in a movie theater?

8. Tell me one odd/intresting fact about you.

9. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?

10. Do you want to tell me something that you couldn't before?

11. If you heard a rumor about me, would you defend me?

12. Do you/have you talk(ed) shit about me?

13. Do you think I'm a good person?

14. Would you let me sleep with you (in the same bed)?

15.Do you think I'm Hot?

16. Would you call me just because?

17. Would you ever listen to my problems even if they dont involve you?

18. If you could change anything about me, would you?

19.Would you have sex with me?

20.Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?

21. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

(2 <3 ryan. | show some love.)

[11 Jun 2005|09:46pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

I Only have 3 friends
1 of whom is the only reason i have this...
And i talk to her everyday so this i really quite pointless..
I had a blast last night this morning (grad night)
Me and kevin totally own at blackjack
And he punched me really hared in the face
but with giant boxing gloves so it was alright
It was so fun hanging out with him like that...
i havent done it in so long and i think thats why i thought lame asses were my friends...
cause thats all i kind of knew at the moment
Well yea today sucked ass... i hungout with gay people whom i dont want to talk to anymore...
If My Friends as in the two remaining in town leave i have no idea what iom going to do
oh i mean when not if :(
Well yea thats all for now
Love Ryan
oh wait p.s. im havng a "family day" tomorrow which means a day of golfing with my dad im so happy... a flaw is having to go to church though and i really dont want to but whatever it will be worth it :)

(3 <3 ryan. | show some love.)

[10 Jun 2005|06:07pm]
[ mood | pessimistic ]

Alright im going to try and make a quick post cause i dont have much time before i get picked up by kevins family... im going to his graduation/gradnight tonight so yea... well last night was really really awesome and made me feel alot better then i have been for a long time... me and kody went over to jaseys and we all hungout (katie, me, kody and jasey)... it was really nice but i liked last night so much because we went on a walk around 130 and me and jasey split up and talked about things that were bothering us so much... mine mostly involved people moving away... kevin :(:(:( and just how people have been treating me in general and she kinda could see where im coming from so it was nice and we talked for like 2 hours and it made me feel alot better... i ended up having to choose hanging out wqith them all night or watching a movie with kevin rachel and elise... i figured id regret either one i did so yea... justin is a fucking asshole!... haha anyways umm yea i ended up choosing hanging out rather then watching a movie and then now im hanigng out with kevin all night tonight so yea its kind of equal... im going to miss him so much jesus... well anyways umm thing that have been bothering me the few main things anyway are:
X Kevin moving away
X Missing my dad
X Summer School
X Other friends moving away
X and other not as important stuff
Love Ryan...
Ill update again when i have more time about other things that have happened esince last time ive updated... farewell

(show some love.)

Shitty Ass Friday [03 Jun 2005|11:09pm]
[ mood | sad ]

Hello Journal...
I dont think this entry is going to be long at all on account of me having a shitty day and wanting to go to sleep. Nothing exciting has happened really except i came home to my moms house and in my room there was all the furniture that i had at my dads house...truthfully i miss him :( Yea and i broke a waterline to my house and it was pretty much chaotic... fuck today im going to go to sleep and hope tomorrow is better
With love,

(7 <3 ryan. | show some love.)

[01 Jun 2005|05:25pm]
[ mood | worried ]

Well hello,
It's been a few days since my last post, too long. So i am going to bore you with my action packed weekend.
I woke up and was all excited for magic mountain and stuff... i found out i wasnt going to leave till like 6 so i sat at home packing and stuff. And i cut my hair off like a dumbass... doesnt look to good in my opinion. and then i get picked up around 730 and drive to valencia and meet justins dad and his girlfriend... nice people.When we get there i think it was around 11 we ate dinner(lasagna and there was vegitarian lasagna too but i was scared to eat it) i know im lame... and then we watched boondock saints which if you didnt know is my favorite movie and it was really awesome... Justin's lame ass slept through it though.[by the way us and we refers to me Justin and Vince]. And that was friday

We woke up and got ready for magic mountain... it was really fun when we got there me and justin got our season passes prossesed and then got into the park and went on a few rides... around 4 oclock justin realizes he lo9st his cell phone... and we found out monday that someone had used it so yea that was kind of lame... but over all the day was good... not much to say really except we went on some roller coasters and ate panda express it rocked except if someone had to ride by themselves it was usually me because of some excuse they made up... i just figured there cooler then me and can ride with eachother... ohwell i dont care but yea thats saturday...

We wake up and repeat everything we did the day before except this time we went on different rides and vince lost his cell phone to "The Revolution" which is if you dont know a lame ride with only one loop but yea vinc lost it to that beast because he tried to answer it on a ride... kinda sucks for him but made a good laugh... i was sad because i wanted to go on deja vu and it was closed almost the whole time but finally when it opens theres only a half hour left... we had time to ride on the ride but they wanted to go on more then just 1 ride... oh and collosus is the best ride ever :)... well yea that was sunday and the last day we went to 6 flags...

We wake up and get dropped off at this pretty awesome towncenter/mall place and we baught tickets to go see the longest yard it was pretty funny but not as good as i thought it would be considering adam sandler was in it.oh well.. so after we buy the tickets we go and read the new ap in boarders and it was pretty awesome... 2 stories :)... yea after that we go and buy more panda express and had more orange chicken... oh man i love that stuff... and then we went and watched the movie after exploring a little bit... it was fun... after the movie we get home and watch bowling for columbine... it was pretty good vince was bashing it the whole time and even before we watched it... he said he saw it before but i dont know if he really did... he said he watched farenhiet 911 and me and justin caught him lying so i dont know... anyways the then justins mom picked us up around 830 and we drove back to ridgecrest... it was nice i was ready to go home... so yea i get h9ome around like 11 and went to sleep around midnight cause there was the school next day

I woke up and was really tired soi told my mom i wanted to stay home... she wasnt going to let me but then i was like well i dont do anything anyways untill after lunch so she said i can stay till lunch which was awesome because thats all i wanted to stay home for cause i was really tired but then i wake up at 1 and my mother was gone so i figured she either forgot or didnt care... im thinking she forgot but ohwell... so around 3 kody comes over and we hangout and jasey calls me so we go to kerr mcgee and hungout with her there and it was really nice. the three of us hung out till like 1130 and then i go home and sleep... but the night overall was pretty awesome we hungout at the park place for a little bit then go get taco bell and braught it back to the park and by that time it was dark and we braught it back and ate in complete darkness it was kind of wierd cause ive never done it before... but yea it was fun.. we played games little lame games but they were ammusing... thats basically all that has happened to me in the last 4 days but i think i prolly left out some details... but considering this is forever long and already extremely boring i think ill stop... i promise the next one wont be so long unless it will accually be fun to read oh and i think i left kody at the library cause i think i might have been suppose to meet him there and i forgot oh no :(


P.S. Danae is the coolest person ever!

(4 <3 ryan. | show some love.)

[27 May 2005|01:30am]
Hello again,
Well it's day two with my journal... im in a wierd mood again... the whole camping thing didnt work out exactly as planned, obviously because im typing and i should be in front of a bon fire right now.

WEll today started off pretty alright,... i wasnt late to school and nothing bad like that happened and then i hungout with rachel and elisa after school and it was pretty fun... and we changed the whole camping thing to elisa's so me and kody got out there around 9 and stayed till 1 and it was really fun i had a blast... it would have been cooler if more people would have came(especially someone who said she would)

And then.... i get home and i come home to my little brother and one of his two friends baked off of thier ass's and it totally pissed me off they were eating everything in sight and non stop laughing.And me being the self concious person i am thought they were laughing at me... but then i figured it all out and yea pretty lame... so right after im done screaming at my brother my mom walks in and im like wow thisa should be interesting... but turns out she is really drunk and so yea nothing happened

so summarry of today my morning was alright and then after school was fun until 1 which is about 40 minutes ago and from then on has been shit...


P.S. i need more lj friends or something but im too lazy to go find them all and add them so ohwell...

oh and my brother is 13

... and lunch was very boring and lame, as usual


(1 <3 ryan. | show some love.)

My First Entry :) [25 May 2005|10:18pm]
[ mood | weird ]

Ok well my name is ryan... ive had 2 journals before but this one i plan on keeping and hoping it will last longer then the other ones. Umm Danae made this awesome journal for me cause im not smart enough to make my own... anyways i guess this first entry will be on what my week has been so far. Well ive had something bothering me all wekk and i finally got it all figured out..... problem is i figured out that ive been avoiding it this whole time and i dont know no good can come out of it... i think im kinda crazy right now on account of slep deprivation and the recent events that have happened today... the things that happened today involved me kody jasey and random kids who basically live at the park whom i dont like very much... things were wierd and then they got more wierd and now i dont know what to think... oh and more sad things is i still dont have crimson and its been out for 2 days!!! i feel like such a non-real fan and its killing me inside... so yea thats all the things thats been bothering me today

good things about this week:
1) i got my music video flmed and now need to edit it
2) im most likely going to magic mountiain :)
3) i might go camping... bu it might be wierd now too so i dont know if this is really good news
4) One of my most favorite people are coming on the 16th :)
ok well i hope this is long ewnough for my first entry... i would say that my next entry will be not as boring but id be lying mostlikely... well thats it for now

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