(no subject)

Alright well today was extremely boring...
i didnt go to school and stayed home the whole day
i talked to chris and katie over the internet though and that was pretty cool
they might move back and chris might live with me
that would be cool too considering im always bored and have noone to talk to here
I heard Thrice's new song Image of the Invisible and i don't really like it..
maybe it will grow on me though
I'm going to hangiout with kevin tonight and im so happy
i havent seen that kid in like a month and miss him alot
i hate school thats one of the reasons why i decided not to go today... i really wish i picked tomorrow though cause kevin doesnt work and has class at 5 so yea fucking lame!
I dont feel much differently abnout having a phone... the internet kind of sucks and i havent really wanted to talk on the phone lately... but i dont know...
I've been thinking alot lately though and think i've changed alot within the last couple of weeks i don't know if that's good or bad... i think not seeing kevin has kind of made me more independent i guess...
but i really do miss him alot...
We basically can't be considered best friends anymore...
I think we've both changed alot which is going to make tonight wierd
i don't know... im extremely happy at the moment though/
tomorrow should be interesting... i dont plan on going to bed till late and i'm going to be really tired
ALK3 in a week from now...
reggie should be pretty cool to see also....
too bad mcr has to be greedy fags and not have enough respect open for the trio...
i dont not like them as much as i think i should... i really don't
my clean house i think is a huge factor to my happiness to so im going to keep it clean and free from dumbasses who like to smoke pot i.e. my brothers lame ass friends/my brother...
this was a longer entry then planned but im done now
  • Current Music
    Fluke - Mates Of State

(no subject)

Well hello...
I know i havent updated in the longest time... but really it's not my fault.. well i guess some of it is buit i haven't had a phone for the longest time... but alot of things have happened within the last couple of weeks first off.... i live basically all by myself and it is extremely lonely... everyone i know smokes pot and it is extremely annoying and dissapointing when the few friends i've known since middle school all of the sudden think it is alright to do that when a year ago they were soo extremely against it... fuck... oh and i try to throw barbeques now... but since saturday i dont think i want to ever again because they are extremely lame...so yea i dont know... i am extremely glad that i have my phone back now though... :) because i can talk to certain people again (danae/tori) so hopefully one of them get on tonight because so far they havent and i got my hopes up :(... but yea i dont know i might update soon again but i really don't want to right now so im gong to go...
Goodnight :)
  • Current Music

(no subject)

Well today i woke up (around 230) in a pretty bad mood... but now im in a great mood for like the first time in week or something... i found out im going to visit my aunts in la and get out of this shitty town :D... oh and as far as the rbf concert went... it was a fun drive... but we never saw them we got a flat a half hour away so yea lame but ohwell im over it... i guess me and justin are going to see the alkaline trio in san diego in september... hopefully this time i accually go.. vince already knows he can't so that won't be a problem haha... well i don't know what else to write so i'll make a list of good and bad things :)

x.I think Someone is mad at me or just wants nothing to do with me.. which would be worse
x.My house can't stay clean for 24 hours
x.I'm the only one who cleans my house
x.I might only be able to stay a few days in la
x.I only have 4 dollars and have a million things i need to buy
x I can't burn cd's for some reason

o.I will probably be out of town for a whole week
o.I'm going golfing tomorrow (probably)
o.Kevin will be back by the time i get back
o.I'm leaving sunday

I just watched the movie Equilibrium and it is one of my favorite movies now
I really want a new book to read... I'm thinking hot water music by charles bukowski but i haven't really heard anything about it so i don't know..
Oh and my two new favorite trio songs are "Dead End Road" and "Old School Reasons"
That's all I most likely won't update for atleast a week but i might update saying how my vacation was when i get back...
  • Current Music
    Old School Reasons - The Alkaline Trio

(no subject)

So basically lots of shit has gone down lately... all lame ass drama and it has basically made me really sad... whatever i dont even want to get into it so im updating to say that im going to see rbf catch 22 and punchline tonight in anehiem and its going to be bad ass... something that might make me happy for a little while... but thats all ill update on how it went probably tomorrow
  • Current Music
    Alkaline Trio - Back To Hell

(no subject)

Dear Journal,
Alright well this isnt going to be a very long post
Cause i don't have much to write about...
In the past week i have basically done nothing
Two of the people who i usually hangout with arent aloud(sp) over
Their parents think my house is like some horrible place or something
It doesnt make me very happy but ohwell...
and i guess i have to appologize to one of their parents for lying
but i only did so she wouldnt get be mad at me/be shipped to her moms...
Oh well i guess i should appologize i wouldnt want someone to lie to me abot where my daughter was...
Anyways yea ive been pretty sad lately
Cause i havent really hungout with anyone for the last 3 days
Truthfully i'm getting sick of living by "myself"
My mom has been home maybe 3 hours out of the whole week
I swear this isnt an exageration
Maybe its lame but i miss her... alot
And so my dad and my brother are in L.A. right now
I wasnt aloud to go because i have summer school
The only reason why my brother can go is because he refused to go or ditched summer school
I think my dad just hates the fact that i didnt come crawling back but i dont know
I really want to get out of this town even for just like a day or something

On a happier note me and kevin did hangout for a little bit last night
He got home around 1 last night though cause he had to work late
So we didnt do anything really except watch a movie...
and hes at work now but he gets off at 5 so we might accually be able to hangout or something
But i think we'll go see like Charlie and the choclate factory or something...
And Rachel will probably go too so yea i don't know
I think that i might be able to go to lunch with my mom tomorrow which will be nice
but I've had plans to go to lunch with her the past three days
and she always has something better to do or is sick or something
I think if i was sick i would stay home instead of going out to get drunk or hangout with some guy
well this is alot longer then i was planning on it being
i guess i have more things im thinking about then i thought.... if that makes sense
well farewell

p.s. im halfway through reading The Perks Of Being A Wallflower...its my third time reading it.It is definately my favorite book but maybe only because its the only book ive read for a while... i dont know but if you havent read it i suggest you do its amazing.
  • Current Music
    Best Mistake - Jamisonparker

(no subject)

Alright today was pretty fun but now im bored and not tired at all and the 3 people i normally hangout with are on the other side of town... hmmmm ohwell maybe ill be tired when im done with this update haha...
ok so i guess ill start by saying what ive done today
well i woke up at kevin's from the alarm at 9 and layed there and fell back asleep...
I didnt end up getting up untill around 1215 (Lame)
Then we played video games for a good 2, 2 and a half hours (Rad)
Then around 3 we went and got his check and cashed that...
Mistaked someone for someone else when i was 3 Ft. away (Embarassing)
Took a shower and got changed cause i was extremely dirty
Then Kevin and Rachel picked me up and we went bowling (Interesting)
Then we ate at Denny's (awesome)
Then we went to rachels house and me and kevin renamed all the unknown songs on rachels new labtop (fun)
Then we left around 9 to the movies where we saw Fantastic 4
Which was alright different then i expected though (also interesting)
So yea after the movie i got dropped off at my house to find my door to my room locked
this was strange cause i never lock anything in my house
if you wanted to you could walk in and take something and id probably watch you do it without a care
so yea anyways it was locked so i had to get in via window...
when i got in everything was different and someone messed with all my stuff... im guess it was kody and chris..
So yea here i am now writing about my semi boring different day.

Update on unrelated topics:
Kody and Jessica are finally back together... it took them long enough
Chad is at some shoot for 4 days
Im still not tired
The situation with her is giving me second thoughts on giving up
i need to make up my mind
well i dont really no what else to write about...
im tired of being a third wheel :(
i appologize for the long pointless post...

  • Current Music
    Pink Bullets - The Shins

(no subject)

It has been around 3 weeks since my last entry and i think thats way to long to go without making an entry... so yea im going to fill in the last tyhree weeks they were very boring and nothing happened... thats it :) haha no im kidding but i didnt do much.. the most exciting thing ive done was go to magic mountain with Justin,and Danny and Jimmy (whom I'd never meant before... and we met tyeesa and her little brother there... that was rad collosus and "x" rock... and i also went airsofting and cut my nuckles really bad and then later that day i lit the same hand on fire while making bombs/messing with firework powder stuff...So yea thats basically it... i issed my second of 3 absences aloud in summer school today but yea thats all the exciting stuff thats happened every other day me chris and kody and jasey stayed up all night at my house last night we made a boat out of my couches though and a lady walked into my house at 2 in the morning randomly to ask if she could use a phone and then yea it was really wierd but yea i wonder what people would think if they just walked in my house cause we tried making a tent and then we couldnt get a big enough blanket so we made it into a sail and it turned into a boat... not to mention it was like 110 degrees in my house and all 4 of us were bundled up in blankets like it was 10 degrees well yea thats basically it...oh and i finally saw elephant and love the movie its soo good... well yea thats it. Love You :)

P.S. I think i finally give up... I cant ask for more then to just be her friend. I wonder how im going to stop having feelings for her though hmm... well farewell :S
  • Current Music
    Lough Erin Shore - The Corrs :) haha

(no subject)

Do this...

1.Your Name:
2. Age:
3. Fave Color:
4. Fave Movie:
5. Fave Song:
6. Fave Band:
7. Most Embarassing Moment:
8. Are you a virgin?

HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...

1. Are we friends?

2. Do you have a crush/attracted to me?

3. Would you kiss me?

4. ...with tongue?

5. Would you enjoy it?

6. Would you ever ask me out or go out with me if I ask you out?

7. Would you make a move on me in a movie theater?

8. Tell me one odd/intresting fact about you.

9. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?

10. Do you want to tell me something that you couldn't before?

11. If you heard a rumor about me, would you defend me?

12. Do you/have you talk(ed) shit about me?

13. Do you think I'm a good person?

14. Would you let me sleep with you (in the same bed)?

15.Do you think I'm Hot?

16. Would you call me just because?

17. Would you ever listen to my problems even if they dont involve you?

18. If you could change anything about me, would you?

19.Would you have sex with me?

20.Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?

21. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?
  • Current Music
    In Years To Come (acoustic) - Thrice

(no subject)

I Only have 3 friends
1 of whom is the only reason i have this...
And i talk to her everyday so this i really quite pointless..
I had a blast last night this morning (grad night)
Me and kevin totally own at blackjack
And he punched me really hared in the face
but with giant boxing gloves so it was alright
It was so fun hanging out with him like that...
i havent done it in so long and i think thats why i thought lame asses were my friends...
cause thats all i kind of knew at the moment
Well yea today sucked ass... i hungout with gay people whom i dont want to talk to anymore...
If My Friends as in the two remaining in town leave i have no idea what iom going to do
oh i mean when not if :(
Well yea thats all for now
Love Ryan
oh wait p.s. im havng a "family day" tomorrow which means a day of golfing with my dad im so happy... a flaw is having to go to church though and i really dont want to but whatever it will be worth it :)
  • Current Music
    Road To Joy-Bright Eyes

(no subject)

Alright im going to try and make a quick post cause i dont have much time before i get picked up by kevins family... im going to his graduation/gradnight tonight so yea... well last night was really really awesome and made me feel alot better then i have been for a long time... me and kody went over to jaseys and we all hungout (katie, me, kody and jasey)... it was really nice but i liked last night so much because we went on a walk around 130 and me and jasey split up and talked about things that were bothering us so much... mine mostly involved people moving away... kevin :(:(:( and just how people have been treating me in general and she kinda could see where im coming from so it was nice and we talked for like 2 hours and it made me feel alot better... i ended up having to choose hanging out wqith them all night or watching a movie with kevin rachel and elise... i figured id regret either one i did so yea... justin is a fucking asshole!... haha anyways umm yea i ended up choosing hanging out rather then watching a movie and then now im hanigng out with kevin all night tonight so yea its kind of equal... im going to miss him so much jesus... well anyways umm thing that have been bothering me the few main things anyway are:
X Kevin moving away
X Missing my dad
X Summer School
X Other friends moving away
X and other not as important stuff
Love Ryan...
Ill update again when i have more time about other things that have happened esince last time ive updated... farewell
  • Current Music
    Deathbed-Alk 3