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22 November 2009 @ 01:26 am
Well, not much has changed.
I have a job, it's shit but still a job & that means money towards me running away from this hell hole.
I still have a boy, time's running out though. I'm scared and sad but it seems inevitable.
I'll take it as it comes, i guess.
I do hate how things have become, I feel lost & bored, i want to get lost in the literal sense. I don't want to know what's happening tomorrow, i want someone to love spending every waking moment with me, knowing someone so well that they can finish my sentences, like it was in school. You'd spend hours with the people you love the most and yet it's completely taken for granted, I'd give anything to be back there. Give a hug to every person that made me smile and laugh. They made me who i am so they deserve a little credit.
I need that belonging, knowing someone will always have my back and listen to my whinging or random ideas. I want to feel like my dreams can come true and i'm the only person who can make them happen. I don't want to rely on them, i want to just know they'll be there. No matter what. Days mean eveything, whether they're good or bad, i want to be grateful of the hours i've spent. I want life long memories, not looking back and wondering how it could've been. I don't want my heart to heal, it shouldn't have to. I want it to be scarred forever.
21 January 2009 @ 03:03 am
so, it's 2009.
that boy has saved my life, and he will never ever know.
it's probably all been a waste of time.
but i've never really cared that much about how long i have.
i love him. apparently it's mutual, but i don't believe it.
i just like telling him.

29 September 2008 @ 12:00 am

bleached my hair again & it's pretty much white. i look ill. but i'll live with it. atleast it didn't fall out i suppose.
nothing new really, kinda seeing someone but who knows where that'll lead. it's weird thinking of someone else other than myself.
i dunno if i like it. haa. i'm so selfish.
katie's gone to uni now. it's really sad not having her down the road. & i really do hope she has a super time.
but not too much fun, cos i want her to come home & have missed me tbh. as horrible as that sounds.
job's not looking good, i really lack experience so it's gonna be tough.

i can't wait to get my hair cut :]]

10 September 2008 @ 12:36 am
i well spent my day trekking across London looking for Jonas. didn't find them. longg. do i bother trying again tomorrow? camp rock prem is gonna be full of teenies. but can i be arsed to wake up at 5am to wait outside a tv studio? we'll see.
disney store are a bunch of liarssss. but we well cracked them. shame.
bring on thursday, officially the start of the best weekend. then everyone leaves for uni. fuck that mate.
haa. russell brand is a legde. i'm sorry but he was proper jokes. i wanted the jonai to stand up for themselves. that would've been the funniest thing ever. jordin sparks needs to stfd tho. there was no need for that love.
basically it was full of fail. much like life. fin.
31 August 2008 @ 03:41 am
drunk again. i got a tattoo yesterday. it felt so good. a puzzle piece on my wrist. it looks so sick. i love it. i wantmore.
i well fancy this guy, called rich. but i din;t knw if i want a bf. it sucks. i think he'sa player thoo. and i'm not into into that sshit.
you know, i had to pee in the street tonight. it ws dirty, butmy only option. and u had people wathcing.argh.\g\ross.
i had such a good night, i bloody love my mates. i love everyone. every singleone you. i lov you all. i mean it.
28 August 2008 @ 01:36 am
bleached my hair again. turned out alot better than before. not ginger at all. thank god.
i didn't even mean to go blonde, just wanted to strip the dye out & bam! it happened.
think it's looks pretty good tbh.
the mother still isn't speaking to me. that's 2 weeks now. unbelievable. it's pretty funny really. 
been thinking of getting a tattoo. only something little. probably a star. how original.
i really don't have enough money for anything too big so it'll have to do. 
i'm only doing it out of boredom, which isn't wise but hell, you only live once.
was drunk pretty much the entire weekend. was fucking brilliant. plan on doing it all again this week.

17 August 2008 @ 01:38 am
ahh so sorry. im so bloody drunk right now, but i feel reallt pointless. mum hasn't spoke to me since thursday. 
i just feel shit, its utter crap. i keep hearing fireworks & shpouting outside. it;s weird. agh. half the people i went to schoolwoth dont even fucking remember me.
arseholes. i am worthless. this took me like 10minutes to type out. long that. i'm totallt having a camp rock party. i donlt even give a shit.
14 August 2008 @ 02:19 am
pretty sure today will be the worse day of my life. so far, atleast. i should care really. still reading breaking dawn. i can't get into it. twatlight has officially ruined that for me. i fucking love RPattz now. which is pretty sick. i used to despise him. seeing the JoBros on september 11th. booyah. i'm mighty pumped. i don't even care how sad that makes me. oh yeah, the brother is engaged. plan on marrying next year. meaning i'll be a fucking bridesmaid. great. there had better be some merry making going on today. 
07 August 2008 @ 05:10 am
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he's a total douche. but so pretty.
it's 5am. i should really really sleep.
05 August 2008 @ 02:33 pm
day of fail, please.
internet is lagging. i've had to reset my settings a million times. annoyance. JoBro's fucking album, don't take anyone outside the US into consideration, oh yeah, that's fine, we don't mind at all.
some woman today was screeching her kids name down my bloody road when she was literally about 6ft away from her.
the child's name in question? OCEAN. wtf? get out of my territory with your demon spawn. ew.
oh yeah, i got breaking dawn. only £8. that was a little winner. last one in the store though so the cover's abit fucked. i'll probably return it after reading, if i'm honest.
you can do that right? i don't like hardback books much.

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