(no subject)

It's hard to believe it has been over two years since I last updated this journal.

I am back. I hope to update this regularly to chronicle my weight loss journey, my attempts at getting in triathlon-shape once again, and also just to jot down my thoughts. Between trying to lose this weight, attempting to survive law school, and all the other day to day stressors, not to mention trying to have some fun in between, I figure this should be a good outlet.

Here's to starting fresh.

(no subject)

so i completed my first spring triathalon yesterday! my cousin and i did it together as a relay team.. i did swimming and running, she did the bike. we completed it in 1 hour and 50 minutes! we came in 39th out of 70, which isnt great but is still okay with me, especially since we were first timers.

im really happy and proud to have completed it... im am so addicted to doing this stuff now! im already thinking of signing up for 2 5ks which are coming up and then trying my hand at a full spring triathlon on august 10th. yayayay

p.s. a spring triathlon just means its shorter. its a half mile swim, a 12-14 mile bike depending on the race you're in, and a 5k run. they are fun! here is the link to the race i did... they are coming to washington, texas, and california. the proceeds benefit ovarian cancer research and it is an all female race which is nice.


saying goodbye...

my grandpa gene passed away this afternoon at 4:30 pm. i arrived at my aunts at 4:40 pm.

i was with him all day yesterday, so i was able to say goodbye. in a way im glad that my grandfather was with his two daughters.. and i dont know if i could have handled being there.

im okay. its incredibly sad and i loved him very much, but it was his time. now he wont be in any more pain... and he will reunite with my grandmother, his one true love. she died seventeen years ago but he never dated or even considered remarrying. he loved her and im happy he is with her now, restored to his healthy youthful body.

for those of you who knew him, i hope you remember all the good and happy times. he loved all of my friends and was so impressed with all of your achievements.

i loved him so much and i will really miss him.

(no subject)

sigh. so this is the first week, in all the weeks ive ever done weight watchers, that i have not lost a damn thing. not even 0.2 pounds. this has never, ever happened to me. and i did excellent this week. i worked out hard four days a week, ate my activity points, and ate 13 flex.

i dont know what i should do. i know part of it is, ahem, because its that time of the month. something goes haywire with my hormones when i start the placebo pills on by birth control, and i retain all this water and feel bloated and gross. im going to start weighing in on saturdays i think.

anyway. so i did so well this week and its sort of inexplicable why i didnt lose weight, even with the TOM thing. sigh.

my mom is coming this weekend for mom's weekend and we're getting sushi for dinner. ill probably eat more flex this weekend. i hope next week i have a good loss to make up for this. im working too hard to not see results. mike actually thinks its because im building muscle but still.

im just hoping i have a good loss next week. i could use something positive right now.

(no subject)

 does anyone know where i can watch online exercise videos?  i googled it but all of them require payments/registration to these places and i just dont want to pay.  anyone watch free exercise videos online?

(no subject)

so ever since i started going to these group fitness classes at CRCE (u of i's gym) i am so much more motivated to work out.  i have a friend from my german class in the kickboxing class so i have a buddy, and she has started coming to the water aerobics class i do too.

water aerobics is nice because the water is low impact so nothing hurts.. my knees, ankles, nada.  its super nice and i still get a good work out with the water providing lots of resistance.

i just started going to the kickboxing and it is so great.  i love it.  it totally kicks my ass and its 60 minutes of hardcore intensive cardio, but i actually really like it a lot.  its the only workout ive done in a long time where i actually <i>feel</i> powerful and strong.  its a great feeling. 

back when i would just run/elliptical i would just feel exhausted and crappy, plus its super boring.  but now this is actually fun, im doing it with lots of other people, and i can listen to funny techno music.  

these group fitness things are the best thing to happen to my weight loss.  after two weeks of only 0.6 losses per week (i was ready to tear my hair out) i randomly lost three pounds this past week.  im sure its because i kicked up the exercise, i had been sick the week before and didnt work out at all, so its got me back on track and motivated.  i want to lose the weight before 2008!  

see, that rhymed.

(no subject)

so weigh-in was today, and i had a good week thankfully.  last week wasn't so good, only a 0.4 loss, but i lost over 1.5 this week which was good.

its pretty amazing to look at my weight loss compared to michael's, especially when you consider we started this at the same time.  men really do lose weight faster than women.  but its okay, hes really happy and feeling good about himself, which is great.  four more pounds and he can start maintenence to become lifetime.  it will be nice for him to come to meetings with me and not pay.

when i was driving home earlier, i was thinking about my motivations to lose weight.  feel healthier, have more energy and so on.  but also,  i want to feel sexy naked.  i feel like sometimes i look okay in clothes but no matter what, i think i look gross naked.  and i thought to myself, yeah, i want mike to think i look sexy naked.

but then i realized mike already thinks i look sexy naked.  he think i look sexy without makeup on, my hair back, pajamas, all that.  and it was nice to realize hey... i want to look sexy naked for myself.  its not for michael, even though obviously im sure he'll like the results, haha.  

but its good to know that i really am doing this for myself.  sometimes i wonder if thats really true, and today it occurred to me that it is.  mike will love me no matter how i look but i need to learn to love myself and this is the right track to do so.  and thats a good thing.