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(no subject)

Bloop. I haven't updated this in too long. I don't even know where to start. My last post was about something in my life I feel so completely far away from. So weird to think about our moments of pain. In them, we feel as if it consumes every aspect of what we are doing. It amazes me how one single turn of events can turn your world entirely upside down. I really miss Stephen. What hurts the most is not get having the chance to hold his hand and tell him I love him when he was sick. I would give anything for that chance. Just so he would have died knowing that. A shred of doubt he didn't have to endure in the end.

I don't know. I can't process any of this

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