(no subject)

i wonder how many people are reading this sentence right now

i wonder which thoughts im going to advertise to you people today

its always what you want people to think youre thinking about

it makes me wonder what all of you people are REALLY thinking about

not what you WANT me to think youre thinking about

i bet this is making you wonder what IM really thinking about

maybe you should ask me the next time you see me

ill do my best to put it in english

(no subject)

ive been swimming through the depths of nonlinear thought for (what seems like) a while now

experiencing life outside of the realms of past and future has been very disorienting at first but im starting to get used to it
  • Current Mood
    artistic om

(no subject)

my body feels like an anchor and the rest of me is waiting patiently for the right moment to cut loose from it
  • Current Mood
    awake awake

(no subject)

i have been reading the invisibles nonstop and i am realizing more and more everyday how much ive become one of them
  • Current Mood
    awake awake


i really cant put my state of mind into a rational dialog and i dont think i could even if i wanted to. that doesnt mean its incoherant. still though, fair warning

i had a good night last night. it involved a whole lot of satan worshipping, mango eating and television watching, getting drunk and jumping into pools full of freezing water, seeing about twenty people i know from various parts of my life all in one house and me talking my heart out to all of them

my mom came and picked me up the next morning because there was a bunch of stuff i was supposed to do but pretended that it didnt exist because its been making me feel like shite for the past month or so. she thought i reeked of weed. i didnt smoke all that much last night. the first time i did smoke in a while. i guess that means i broke section 13568.236 of their rules-of-me-living-back-at-their-house contract, the section reguarding drug use, and that just aint gonna fly

my mom dragged me into her therapy session. it was me my mom and this zoinked out new age lady, and they tried really hard to bring me down from my euphorics with a bunch of behavioral conventional-family-ethics jargon, fortunately we are not a conventional family, and that i had fully recharged my awesomeness shields the previous night and was able to parry all of their metaphysical anti-insanity attacks. they almost got me to sign this contract but i dont like signing contracts so i plesantly declined. they weren't too stoked on that

i dunno what my parents are going to do next but whatever it is im not leaving this house even if it means catering to their demands which i am more than willing to do if i really really really have to

the last couple days have made me realize that ive tricked myself into believing that the last month or so has been some sort of self-actualizing odyssey into the depths of the sorrow housed in my mind. all it was was me not being in contact with human beings for a month and feeling really shitty about it and not being able to tell people this due to not being near any people that listen. i made human contact last night and i feel completely reborn, hence these freeflowing mindpassages and complete lack of angsty faux-discovery. its not that i have a problem with angst, it's just that it will make you come off as deranged and radcliffy when its all you think about for three weeks

this dude last night was observing two people doing that thing where one person says something, then the other person misinterprets it and makes a confused reply, then the first person gets confused by that and then both people are completely lost and try to piece their conversation together. he shook his head at them and said "fuck it". i said "that is a good philosophy". he said "yeah"

seriously man. fuck it

holy shit

i have awaken
  • Current Mood
    artistic lalalalinfinitealalalalalala