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hang for your hollow ways

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I'm actually going to do this. Insurance approved me after the surgeon and my usual doctor sent them letters and pictures describing the huge dents in my shoulders, persistent back/neck/shoulder pain, my spine being hunched and the fact that my fingers go numb sporadically because the weight pinches the nerve that gives feeling to my hands. The doctor wants to take out around two and a half pounds, which doesn't seem like a lot, but apparently it is a lot.

On the upside, my back won't hurt anymore, my hands won't go numb, I'll be able to wear normal clothes without them looking like they don't fit and I'll be able to wear a bra size that actually exists in the average store. And I'll be rid of an aspect of my appearance that I've thought was disgusting and made me insecure since I was thirteen. On the downside, I won't be able to stand up or do anything for almost a week, and I won't be able to raise my arms above my head or lift anything over two pounds for almost a month. I won't be able to breastfeed my kids most likely, and I'll have big scars that probably won't go away. And I know it's gonna hurt, but that's okay. I've wanted it too badly for too long to not do it when I have the chance. The surgery is scheduled for either July 8th or July 10th.
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