Ephiny- Amazon Queen

(no subject)

It just hit me that today is my ex best friends 18th birthday. Kind of a weird feeling, I must say... We were the very best of friends for quite a while and then our lives moved in different directions and we don't even talk anymore.

Well, if ever she were to see this for any reason.

Happy 18th Birthday Erikah!

No matter what bad things we have been through I will always remember the goodtimes I had with that girl.


I watched the next disc of Hercules last night the one with Festival of Dionyus, Ares, and the one with Lucy in it, darkness something or other. The best part of all of it was Lucy. I am just not warming up to the show Hercules the way I had hoped I will. It is NO xena.

LOVING FIREFLY though! Watched "Out Of Gas" lst night... I pictured Kaylee as a virgin but I learned she is not in that episode. Love her though... Tonight is "Ariel" and "War Stories" and if I have time maybe even "Trash" BUT ALAS...




That is all. :)
Ephiny- Amazon Queen

(no subject)

It is so hard to have no genuine control over your feelings. You can supress them and avoid acting on them but really you have no control over them. We cannot help who we are attracted to. I can't comprehend how anyone can seriously not understand homosexuality. They have no idea how hard it is for the gay/lesbian/ or even bisexuals come to terms with who they are and if they ever want to be happy they have to go with their feelings.

THE same thinggoes along with age difference. It is easy for people who do not understand age difference to look in on it and say "that is so morally wrong" but I bet you there is something about everyone of us that someone will say is wrong. It was wrong for the 21 year old to do things to me when I was 12 and it was wrong for the 21 year old to have sex with me when I was 14. I do not believe Steve is in the wronghere though. I am 18, have been through a lot of shit that has made me grow and mature at an early age. Steve is in his 30's and everyone who knows about us thinks it is SO wrong. They think he is a pervert who is just trying to use me and they all think I am just looking for a father figure...Which tosome degree may be true,the father figure thing. No one knows about the things that happend at 12 and 14 though. Maybe they would understand me better if they knew but I want them to see where Steve is comming from without them thinkiing he is a sicko.

Age is kind of a guideline and a record of how long since we took our first breath. Our minds are more important then our bodies and I KNOW KNOW KNOW for a fact that me as an 18 year old, has the same capability of knowing EVERYTHING that an older person has known. The only difference is that they have had more general life experience. I am a lot more wise and savvy about MANY things then my dad who is almost sixty and acts like a child, can't keep a job, hardly ever makes rent, is manipulative, and not very intelligent. SO becuase he has been alive longer some people might argue that he is more intelligent then me. I disagree.

WHat I am trying to eventually say is that a man in his 30's and an 18 year old CAN have a relationship without the guy being a sicko. Both my mom and dad now know and my dad thinks Steve is just so wrong in dating me.

PLEASE what do you guys HONESTLY think... Don't hold your tounge because you are trying to be nice. If you think it is wrong say " THAT IS FUCKING WRONG" be honest here but tell me WHY. I have like older guys so it is veryhard for me to understand why people find it SO unsetlling I would like to hear some of your opinions.
Ephiny- Amazon Queen

(no subject)

Almost time to go.... Well another hour :P

Go home, watch LOST, that I taped since I was on a date Wed. and Thurs.


Should be getting more episodes of Firefly from netflix.

Stop being mean to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes! just stop!

Has anyone seen or even HEARD of a movie called 2DLK? Standing for 2 rooms, 1 drning room, 1 lounge, 1 kitchen.... It is just a movie about two sexy asian girls that beat the shit out of eachother and eventuall kill eachother. All taking place in one night. Just sounds gorey and like something I would like to see... It is the ONLY movie I can't find on netflix and netflix usually has RARE stuff.

Alas that is all I have to talk about.

My breath smells like onions. gross.
Ephiny- Amazon Queen

(no subject)

Ahhh I am SOOOOOOOo tired. I guess I didn't go to bed any later then usual, well, maybe but I am just exhausted today and starting to wish I would have skipped work. I keep telling myself I REALLY need the hours though. Ah, I much rather be at home in my big comfty bed being all sleepy and grand...Instead I am sitting here with my stupid toast and stupid job, working. I want to go to sleep. :(

WHY am I so tired you ask? Well I will tell you my friend. I had another date with Steve last night AND we had a date on Wednesday... On Wednesday we went to jamba juice, central city, a few places in the mountains and a dianetics class and had a wonderful time... We were together from 11 am to 9:30 pm That is a long 2nd date but my god the time flys and we just really enjoy eachothers company.

Last night we went to the CIRCUS! My GOD it was amazing. Haven't been since I was vry young and it was incredible. These people are insane but talented. WOW. Then we ended up going to Denny's because we were both starving.

I really like Steve. Steve really likes me and this age difference is going to be a huge obstacle to get around when it comes to my dad and brothers. We had our first real serious talk about possibilities of how members of my family might react when they evnetually find out because as of this point we are both very happy with eachother and want to continue what we have started. We really wanna hang out all night and sleep in the same bed. NOT have sex... I have onlty had sex once and that was four years ago SO I am not rushing into anything with Steve although I am almost certain e are going to do it eventually... ANYWAYS... You can do the same things during the day that you can do at night. We are just starting to get closer and I would love to lay in his arms all night.

At this point in my life he is exactly what I need and I am really starting to fall for this man. I am just SO SO scared about telling my dad and brothers... I mean I don't know if I will be able to but if Steve and I get more serious, which I think we will, it will have to come out eventually.

I felt SO good coming in last night from a great date and falling asleep to Firefly. :)

I am gonna fantasize about how amazing it would be to be at home, ASLEEP.
Ephiny- Amazon Queen

(no subject)

I hate my fucking stupid perice of shit job. I rather be poor as fuck and not in college then working here. Working with a parent will seriusly drive you fucking nuts to the point where you think it would feel REALLY good to tear out all your hair just to take your mind off of how annoyed you are. FUCKING SHIT I am annoyed.
Ephiny- Amazon Queen

(no subject)

OK. I would like to jump RIGHT in to talking about my date tonight but FIRST I have to talk about how insane last night was....

ALRIGHT, so I was at my dad's last night until about 9. You see my mom and her boyfriend were supposed to be driving up to the mountains to go hiking this weekend. WELL, when I got home about 5 min. later my mom walks in. I of course, assuming she was up in Glenwood Springs by this point was confused. WELL her and Pete got into a car accident about 5 min after they left for glenwood. Just RIGHT down the street from out house someone turned in front of them causing pete to swerve into another car. They are both alright but let me tell you, I have never seen my mom with more then a papercut and last night she had a bump on her head the size of a grapefruit. That is a small exgaggeration, obviously but this bump was ginormous! So, after she told me about it, I just burst into a fit of tearsbecause all that kept going through my mind was... " This could have been SO much worse. I could have lost my mom tonight." Her boyfriend never wears seatbelts because he had a friend who dies in a car wreck a few years back and couldn't get out of the car because of his seatbelt. SO, Pete did not have his seabelt on and he was thrown from the car. This man is LUCKY as FUCK. He was THROWN from a jeep and he jump had some scraped and bruises. He had to stay in the hospital over night because they had to check for internal bleeding every 4 hours. SO, we had to go down to the emergency room and talk to the do tors and drop off some things for him. I drove my mom because I did NOT want her driving after being in an accident and she doesn't even remember the actual accident. I just didn't feel safe with her driving. SO I drove her and ended up waiting in the emergency room for about an hour in half well she was in the back with Pete. It was SUCH a weird weird night because of the crash and it felt very unreal but there was EVEN more weirdness and yet some humor. This crazy guy in the emergency room come sover, sits on the floor and starts pulling little wooden pipes out of his bag and telling us things like " I got this one from a man in peru" and he would play it. Now it was very beautiful but it was just WEIRD to be in an emergency room and have some guy playing little wooden wind pipes.

So I drove us home from the hospital and I had already been reorganizing my room and I wanted to finish it because I didn't want to go to sleep with a half rearranged room. I am a weirdo like that, I rearange my room every few months. SO I come hom and am already kind of upset and nervous thinking about the date as well... So I am moving my desk and the perice of cheap ass crap breaks! SO, until my brothers can come over and help us move and get rid of it I have no choice but to stay in a half way rearranged room. icky. THEN all I wanted to do was fall asleep to something comfortinglike Xena and I try to hook up my dvd and vcr and neither worked! So last night basically just sucked... Now lets move onto today.

I was nervous all day waiting for my date. I was a shakey mess. The time came and I went to our meeting spot. he is too old for me, I know it and I don't care. It excites me and it is just a enthralling thing. Riding a motorcycle is damn fun. First we went to jamba juice, then noodles & company, then we went to his place to watch a video on constructing the pyramids. He is SO into Egypt. I think it is cute. I am obsessed with a lot of ancient cultures, etc. And Egypt is damn facsinating. WELL.... Sitting on his couch we were obviously moving closer, slowly, getting a bit more touchy feely. And then we kissed, a lot. Then he said he had to stop because this poor guy was clearly TURNED on and poor guys can't just calm them selves down as well as us girls, but him being the gentleman that he is he didn't try to make me do anything I felt uncomfortable doing. So we just kissed tonight. I am a shy unexperienced girl and he is a very experienced man so it is kind of tough. All in all though it was really nice. He was very nice the whole time, funny, and we had a good time. At the end of the night we just held eachother for a bit and my god I have not been held tight like that for so long. It feels amazing to have someones arms wrapped tightly around you. I need it. I would love to just lay in his arms for hours.

I don't know eher this is going to go because of the age difference but I am ejoying it right now and I am gonna have fun, be careful, and not let myself fall head over heels.
Ephiny- Amazon Queen

(no subject)

Haha, I am at work right now finishing up my Morning Star VEGGIE honey mustard fake chicken tenders. Which are great but not as good as the fake veggie morningstar buffalo wings. Yay for veggie pride...

ANYWAYS, this guy Cory, who works here who is incredibly cool, down to earth and just a fun guy to chat with to pass some time... ANYWAYS.... We were talking about such and such and how I do't look like a geek but really am and OMG he used t o watch Xena!!! Here is how the conversation went.

Cory: Well, alright I will let you get back to whatever you were doing.

Me: looking at a Xena site?

Cory: Really? I used to watch Xena all the time.

Me: ::has a mini freakout:: REALLY?

Cory: Yeah, with Ares and Callisto and them, and Gabrieles daughter...

Me: HOPE!!

That was about it but it really got me excited because I NEVER have ANYONE to talk about Xena with in person. Sometimes I feel like the only person in CO. to watch that show.

Anyways... Speaking of Xena, in a few moments I am going to post something very fun that I got from goldenfox.
Ephiny- Amazon Queen

(no subject)

Well yesterday was my birthday. I am now officially 18 and it feels the same as 17..... Something happend yesterday though. I am happy about it but at the same time, incredibly nervous.
That guy from the grocery store who is in his thirties asked me if I wanted to get together sometime and I gave him my number. I can't help myself I am a mess of hormones around him. I never said I was normal. Guys my age just don't do it for me much...I mean there are always exceptions. I wish I could like guys my age and I wish I didn't like girls. It would make like a lot eaiser. I want to do something with this fella but I am nervous.
Ephiny- Amazon Queen

(no subject)

Alright, let me see.... My Netflix came on Tuesday and Wednesday, Yay! So, I watched all of it. FIRST of ALL, LADY SNOWBLOOD: LOVE SONG OF VENGENCE, was NOT as good as the first Lady Snowblood. The first one was GREAT and you could see where Quentin Tarentino got ideas for Kill Bill the 2nd LS was just blah.

Next up was HERCULES: SEASON ONE DISC ONE, which means you start with the movies. I got the first disc because I have always wanted to see Hercules and The Amazon Women because of Lucy Lawless. I had seen Hercules and The Lost Kindgom onthe spanish channel. Watched the whole thing in spanish,. even though I don't speak a lick of it. Ah well lots of beautiful Renee. It wa snice to see in a language I speak ! lol... Next up on Herc, trhere are still 3 movies before I get to the actually series... I don't know if I will watch them or just jump right into the series... Any suggestions?

NEXT I WATCHED FIREFLY!!!! I am loving it. Love Gina Torres, falling in love with Summer Glau, and the girl who plays Kaylee is too cute for words.. Not to mention OF COURSE the mantain is hot shit. I started with The Train Job, Bushwhacked and THEN I watched Serenity... My dvd showed Serenity as being the 3rd episode but it sure as bloody hell seems like the first.


WELL, let me see.


INVASION was pretty good. Not as good as I was hoping it wold be but the blonde woman who is an alien is so delectable. Kind of a mixture of Marcia Cross and Uma Thurman almost. She is sex.

SURFACE, I enjoyed this one a little more then Invasion. This one had a better pilot episode but I think INVASION has more potential.

I love Kim the lesbo, duh.




movie survey
lj haiku
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Ephiny- Amazon Queen

(no subject)

I am being an update whore.

I am SO exhausted!!!! AH!. Just need to rest or something.

My mom has been irritating the hell out of me.

NETFLLIX is being ridiculous so I don't think I wil have Firfly and Hercules first discs on WED. They said theyw ill ship them sometime before Tues. Blah... Deffinitley by next wed. though.

I am gonna go home and watch an episode of Xena and relax. I have 8 min left! I am thinking I will watch.....


"is that a hickey?"