rock & roll


I paid for my LJ again even though I haven't written anything since last time I paid.

So here's an update.

Things are better. I'm still on the anti-depressants and they're working. Why did I resist them for so long? Oh yeah; I was afraid of weight gain. Actually, I did gain some weight, but it's a small price to pay for how much healthier and happier I feel.

I am seeing a hematologist for my anemia. Good times. It's going to take a year to get my iron levels up to where they should be, and the pills I take do a number on my digestive system, but again, it's worth it because I actually have something that's almost like energy now. I think this is what normal people feel like. It's just that, I was sick for so long that I forgot what it was like to be normal. Severe anemia, which I have, can also lead to depression, so...that explains a lot.

School is much better this year. Part of it's me, part of it's the kids. They're so much sweeter this year. Even the (very few) annoying ones are not as horrible as last year's crop. Oh, they think I give too much work, but I have high expectations. I love what I teach, and I love where I am.

My own kids are doing ok. My daughter is back at school after a relaxing but expensive summer. She's so much fun to hang out with that we end up at Panera, Starbucks, Target, the mall, etc., and spending ensues. We are so alike; we never stop talking to each other, even if it's just about celebrity gossip or theories on men. All summer, I'd watch the Red Sox and she'd sit with me and sew and we'd chat. Good simple fun. She is infinitely entertaining. Her boyfriend is from up around Boston/New Hampshire and he's a big Red Sox fan too, so she's immersed in baseball despite her own disinterest. My son is doing a lot better. He has a part-time job now, after school and on weekends. He is making friends at work, so that's good, and he's very successful at what he does, so he feels confident and that can only help him as he moves toward college and adulthood.

Lovelife, still deader than Elvis, but hey, you can't have everything, and I already have a lot.
made of stars


So I've been on anti-depressants for about a month now. Lexapro.

I think it's working. I can't say I feel happier, but I am calmer, less anxious, less frantic.

Tomorrow is the last day of regular classes, and then exams begin. I am very optimistic about next year being much, much better.

oh, and...

Belated but very sincere wishes to everyone who reads my infrequent postings. I am grateful that you are all still here; I enjoy reading all of you despite my inability to comment in a timely and sensible manner; I found much comfort in many of your journals during the dark days of early November---so nice to know that others feel as I do about what's happening to the US---and I hope that this holiday season is a joyful and peaceful one for you.
made of stars

plans for the night

What I'm going to do is, I'm going to get myself an iced coffee and I'm going to sit myself down at the computer and leave many comments in many journals and communities...if my LJ cooperates. Right now it's like (sings) Flipper, Flipper, faster than liiiiightning but it'll probably be sludging along when I get back with my coffee.
  • Current Music
    the bathroom vent
made of stars

nice day for a...

Twenty-two years ago this very minute, I was at my own wedding.

I don't remember all that much about the ceremony. It was brief. We missed each other's mouths the first time we tried to kiss as husband and wife, and people laughed. (God, that should have been a sign to run as fast as I could.) One of the sisters of the groom (let's call her...Drusilla) said something to piss me off.

In all of the wedding pictures, I'm goofing off and hardly looking at my new husband at all. He looks so 80s. Why did I think a gray tux would be flattering on someone so pale and bland-looking?

At the reception, I barely drank. Most of my first glass of champagne ended up on the front of my wedding dress, right between my boobs. The veil was on my nerves, and I took it off as soon as I could.

In 1982, there were eight weddings among my family and friends. Two of those couples are still married today.

I remember that I took two hours to get ready for the wedding. I could get ready in five minutes now, and I look pretty much the same. I'm just more secure now, that's all.

Of course, if I was secure then, I wouldn't have gotten married in the first place. But that's just me.

So: Congratulations to anyone who's getting married today. I wish you much happiness. Just because I messed up on that same road doesn't mean it's totally hopeless, you know?
  • Current Music
    Moby, 18 and Julie Miller, Broken Things