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Thursday, May 19th, 2005
8:34 am
This morning's weigh in was good. Another 2 lbs lost. Thats 5lbs this week and 8 in total since the 13th of this month. :)

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Wednesday, May 18th, 2005
10:30 am
Woo, 3lbs lost! Only a small banana and diet coke consumed so far. I don't have an appetite today :)

Finished half of the brooch collection plus re-worked two chandelier earrings. Still waiting for vintage jewels package, findings #2 order, and some ebay supplies plus must order leather crimps and figaro chain.

EDIT: 4 rice cakes (60 cals) and a kit kat bar...yikes (240 cals)

Anne Hathaway.

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Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
8:00 pm
Today I have consumed...

+ 4 cans of diet coke with lime (12cals in total)
+ 1/4 a low calorie tuna pasta bake (around 120 cals)
+ half a pot of light toffee flavoured yogurt (62 calories)
+ Picked a little at some chicken (100cals)
+ one mini brown bun with low fat chicken deli filler (90 cals)

Total = 384!!! and approx 5gms of fat.

I am repeatedly being asked "Is that all you're having?" and "Do you want anything cooking?" by the people I live with. But my shipment of jewellery findings etc arrived today so my excuse was that I was too busy finishing off the new collection of brooches etc etc.

I did go to university today, sat around, knitted up pieces and came home once I was bored enough.

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Monday, May 16th, 2005
5:20 pm - Amazing.
I love Nicole Richie. She was so funny on Simple Life and she's quite inspiring too now. Its funny how the thinner she gets the nicer she dresses.


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12:55 pm
I haven't been on this for so long. I completely forgot my password and had deleted my registered email. Nothing much has taken place. I started work as waitress thinking maybe it will curb the old appetite and now I'm surrounded by cakes all day long :( Will remember to hand in notice soon. I did lose 32lbs, but of course that came back with vengence. Now my mother has taken away all of her gym equipment from my studio apartment/flat (because she is now on a diet) and has just left me with an old excersize bike that hurts my bottom like mad. The good news is my friend Lisa works at a gym and can get my a discount of £12 instead of the full £25.

Anyway. I've only consumed two mini brown bread rolls (75cal each), half a pizza (about 500 yikes), low fat yoghurt (90cal), half a plate of low fat noodles (60 cals) and copious amounts of diet coke with lime over the past three days. Plus I have discovered these...

but 98% fat free in chicken & herb and thai chilli. thats 107 calories for an entire huge plateful and only 0.4 grams of fat.

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Thursday, August 12th, 2004
4:58 pm
1 slice of watermelon: 50
2 slices of low cal brown bread: 80
Light mayo & tuna: 90
4 grapes: 12
2 small cake slices: 155
3 pieces of chocolate: 133
3 cups of decaff coffee: 0
2 litres of water: 0

Total calories: 520

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Wednesday, August 11th, 2004
4:39 pm
1/2 slice of low cal brown bread with mustard: 25
1/2 portion of low cal/low fat pasta: 160
1 slice watermelon: 70
10 seedless grapes (with skin peeled off): 30
3 cups of decaff coffee: 0
1 litre of water: 0
1 can of caffiene free diet coke: 0

x9 hydroxycut

Total calories: 285

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Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
4:33 pm
nearly 1 small can of Heinz spaghetti w/ tomato sauce: 100
1/2 portion of low cal/low fat pasta: 170
3 cups of decaff coffee w/ Splenda: 6
2 litres water: 0

x 9 Hydroxycut
10 minutes jogging
50 sit ups

Total calories: 276

P.S If you are here to tell me how to live my life then fuck right off.

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Monday, August 9th, 2004
5:49 pm
Overtook my Hydroxycuts for breakfast and lunch. Ate grilled chicken but then binged on a doughnut and chocolate (although the sudden influx of food in a short space of time created a laxative effect). Later had some pasta and purged.

My calorie counting is shot to pieces. Maybe 400 so far...after the 'loss' of food?

I supremely suck.

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Sunday, August 8th, 2004
11:56 am
Ack. Failed miserably.

I have exactly one month to lose at least 16lbs. I can't go back to college this fat I can't. At least I'll be walking about 5 miles per day to and fro college and I never get the chance to eat there (the canteen is scarey, its laid out so it feels like everyone is watching you).

And I keep thinking about this girl who will be on my course after the Summer. She's my height but so slim, toned and extremely pretty. She turns up in gorgeous little outfits, perfect hair, flawless make up and she's a lovely girl to talk to, but I can't help feeling like she takes one look at me and feels pity for the state that I am in. Its my own fault really. All my own.

Today I've had 4 plain Rich Tea biscuits (172), Caffiene free Diet Coke so far. Ran for 10 minutes (lame I know) then 60 sit ups.

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/bodypartlog.htm might prove to be helpful to anyone out there.

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Thursday, August 5th, 2004
7:24 pm
Still alive.

Living on decaff coffee, Diet Rite, grilled chicken and sugar free chocolates/candies (the latter which have an extreme laxative effect on me). Still in Ketosis. But I feel fat as ever and strange/desperate without my diet pills.

It says in the book not to consume caffiene (which explains my not taking Hydroxycut) as it delays weight loss, but I'm sure I've read hundreds of times that caffiene boosts the metabolism and makes your heart race = the burning of more calories. I am eternally confused.

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Monday, August 2nd, 2004
5:42 pm
Been away for a few days. I'm heavily in Ketosis now. My Ketone count is at 16 which is the highest it can go.

Just spent my time walking around for the sake of walking, drinking black coffee with Splenda, order lots of Diet Rite and sugar free chocolates plus a low carb cheesecake mix. I can't wait until the latter list arrives as I feel so sick at the prospect of eating meat. I just think of the smell, the time it takes to digest, the fat, the grease and I feel so dizzy.

I won't weigh myself until the 13th. Challenge. Eep.

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Saturday, July 31st, 2004
9:34 am
I have decided that for the next 2 weeks I shall follow the Atkins diet and only count carbs. I shall live on tuna, grilled chicken, lettuce, onions, water, black decaff coffee, grilled bacon with the fat cut off, thin cheese slices and small grilled beef patties.

I tried this before (but with 2 meals a day and a small snack arrgh) and I lost 14-16lbs in 2 weeks and 3 inches off from my waist so hopefully I'll be OK.

I'll have to order some stuff from www.lowcarbmegastore.co.uk today, maybe get a workout video... Wish me luck.

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Friday, July 30th, 2004
4:34 pm
Spent today watching music video channels, programmes about rich and wonderful people while doing arm toning excersizes and later reading Marya Hornbacher's Wasted.

My measurements have decreased half an inch despite my bloated time-of-the-month stomach and my growth of caloric intake over the past few days. My period seems to have waned and is reluctant to appear. I don't mind.

I asked for some Diet Lipton Iced Tea from the store which seems to be the highlight of my day.

1 medium gherkin (pickle): 11
2 cans of caffiene free diet coke: 0
Low cal watered down soup: 45
2 litres of water: 0

x6 Hydroxycut pills (I might order some Xenadrine tonight or some Apple Cider pills)

Total calories: 66

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Thursday, July 29th, 2004
4:33 pm
I shall do much better tomorrow.

2 slices of pickles/gherkins: 3
1 small can of Weight Watchers Chicken Noodle Soup: 45
300ml Orange juice: 126
Weight Watchers chocolate mousse: 107
1 1/2 small chicken spring rolls: 156
5 low fat/low cal oatmeal cookies: 400
2 litres of water: 0

x6 Hydroxycut pills

Total calories: 837

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Wednesday, July 28th, 2004
4:34 pm
Butter popcorn: 400
Toasted muffin: 190
200ml Orange juice: 82
Diet Coke: 0

Total calories: 671 *eek*

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Tuesday, July 27th, 2004
8:18 pm - Numb.
I eat too much to die. And not enough to stay alive. I'm sitting in the middle waiting.

Days since I last pissed
Cheeks sunken and despaired
So gorgeous sunk to six stone
Lose my only remaining home

See my third rib appear
A week later all my flesh disappears
Stretching taut, cling-film on bone
I'm getting better

Karen says I've reached my target weight
Kate and Emma and Kristin know it's fake
Problem is diet's not a big enough word
I wanna be so skinny that I rot from view

I want to walk in the snow
And not leave a footprint
I want to walk in the snow
And not soil its purity

Stomach collapsed at five
Lift up my skirt my sex is gone
Naked and lovely and 5st. 2
May I bud and never flower

My vision's getting blurred
But I can see my ribs and I feel fine
My hands are trembling stalks
And I can feel my breasts are sinking

Mother trys to choke me with roast beef
And sits savouring her sole Ryvitta
That's the way you're built my father said
But I can change, my cocoon shedding

I want to walk in the snow
And not leave a footprint
I want to walk in the snow
And not soil its purity

Kate and Kristin and Kit Kat
All things I like looking at
Too weak to fuss, too weak to die
Choice is skeletal in everybody's life

I choose my choice, I starve to frenzy
Hunger soon passes and sickness soon tires
Legs bend, stockinged I am Twiggy
And I don't mind the horror that surrounds me

Self-worth scatters, self-esteem's a bore
I long since moved to a higher plateau
This disipline's so rare so please applaud
Just look at the fat scum who pamper me so

Yeah 4st. 7, an epilogue of youth
Such beautiful dignity in self-abuse
I've finally come to understand life
Through staring blankly at my navel

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6:06 pm
I've not been well at all over the past 24 hours. I didn't get any sleep all night because of tight cramps in my chest, stomach and all the way down my back.

I ate a bit today because my mother said it would make her feel better and I don't like her worrying.

Toasted muffin: 190
Bread bun w/ Diet Flora: 200
Orange low calorie ice lolly: 60

Total calories: 450

another Gisele!Collapse )

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Monday, July 26th, 2004
6:21 pm
200ml orange juice: 82
Grilled chicken patty w/ bun: 349
3 litres of water: 0

Total calories: 431

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Sunday, July 25th, 2004
2:52 pm
Today I broke my fast. I don't even know why. I didn't feel hungry and I wasn't craving food. Nor was I depressed etc. Infact I was and am quite content. I weighed myself and had gone down to 149lbs. Possibly lower as I know I still had some fluids in my gut and my period should be on arrival in the next 2 days.

I had a few Mexican Grill flavour Doritoes (70cal) and a toasted English Muffin with Diet Flora (200). Thank heavens someone had already devoured all the chocolate and doughnuts in the house. For that at least I'm grateful.

And another good thing to come of this is that my love/weakness and constant craving for toasted English Muffins is gone. Sat here eating it I knew I wasn't enjoying it. It didn't taste nice anymore, but I ate it because it was there.

I feel bad for eating. Wish I could take the past 4 hours back.

I will begin another 7 day fast on Thursday with fast_28 and restrict until then.

Total calories: 270 calories

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