michael (___expo86) wrote,

the way things are.

I'm the biggest piece of emotional shit that I know. I can say that and fully bask in my emotional piece of shit glory. I think things through way too much and am constantly worrying. That's no way to be at all. Especially at this age. It's difficult to tell yourself that though. Although I can say and know that I'm thinking too much about things, I can't seem to consciously wrap this shit around my fingers and stop these bad habits.

I don't really know what brought all of this on. Actually I do. But yeah, I'm now in a process of cleaning things up for myself and being a little more realistic. I think some things are simply made for not happening. And this whole thing I've wanted to flourish since so early on seems to remain the way it has been for awhile. I wish I could just let it all out to someone, but it's a lost cause. I need to start taking control of my own emotions and stop waiting for someone to make me happy.

My livejournals are becoming annoying anymore. I have a big heart that beats rapidly, and it's kicking my ass lately.

My stomach muscles are so sore from this virus. I feel like crap today too. I think today is one of those days where I'll just stay in bed and hopefully feel recooperated by tonite. Well I'm going to make like Stella and try go get my groove back. Shit yah'll, you know that was fly.
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