September 23rd, 2003


(no subject)

the truth hit me today like a sledgehammer crashing through my chest, forcing me to differentiate between the feasible and the impossible. the idealized version of you, endowed with imagined sentiments and things that could be, falls into the latter category. our mutual disinterest [yours honest, mine feigned (but only when you're around.)] is all too concrete for me to keep ignoring. it never was, it never can be, it never will be. you have too much and I'd never be enough -- I don't deserve it [you].

Kevin: did someone push your emo button today? am I gonna go to your livejournal later and find some explanation for this?
me: [trying not to laugh]
Kevin: your next post should be 'my life is a dark room. one big dark room.'
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