I was sitting in Starbucks feeling hip. For some reason, the trendy music, paisley furniture and robust coffee gave me the sense that I was relevant. I had just finished a conversation with a guy next to me about free trade and coffee growers. So not only was I hip, but now I was globally conscious. All was good and right in my world. I was glancing through a book by Shane Claiborne on global social justice when I looked up and my day (and perhaps the rest of my life) was ruined.
He was not hip or trendy or globally aware, he was just cold. This middle-aged man, who was old enough to be my dad, was wearing faded black jeans and a dark green sweatshirt. The full beard draped down his chin into the crevice of his sweatshirt.
He was dirty–and not the kind of dirty that comes from digging ditches or paid labor. He was a street person. My emotions were at war. I felt a mixture of compassion and anger. The arguments that seem so far from God invaded my mind. “This guy just needs to get a job!” or “If you really wanted to get off the street, you could…”. You know those arguments.
In hindsight, I realize the little bit of compassion I was feeling was motivated more by my need to feel insulated and safe again. I just wanted my space back. I didn’t go into his fortress of solitude, did I? Starbucks is where I come to get away. I read and journal and study the Bible. I thought to myself, This is not where I want to see homeless people. Actually, I don’t really want to see homeless people anywhere, but definitely not here.
After a few minutes the homeless man walked to the counter and asked for a cup of water. Reluctantly, the barista handed him some. He sat down again and sipped his water. All conversation in my retreat center ceased. Everyone just sort of held their breath. We were stuck in a vortex of unfamiliarity. We didn’t know what to do. Should we talk to him or give him money? It seemed shallow to ask him if he wanted a half-caff caramel macchiato.
Ultimately, I did nothing. Finally, he left.
I left Starbucks that day, my mind swirling. I was angry at myself for reading a book on justice then acting cowardly and un-engaged when injustice walked into my neighborhood.
I was disgusted at my lifestyle when I returned home. Walking into my kitchen, I glanced at the Ronco Rotisserie, the new single-cup coffee brewer, and rows of food inside the fridge. I was also sad. Sad there were people in my city—a city where I was a follower of Jesus–sleeping under bridges and down by the river. I couldn’t help but count the hours I had spent serving the people in my church that came for weekly “tune-ups” yet have turned a blind eye to the forgotten. I felt lost.
The next day, I disregarded my regular Bible-reading routine and pulled what I like to call a navigational kamikaze, and just opened up the Bible and asked God to speak. The reason I refer to it as a “kamikaze” is because more often than not I land somewhere like Leviticus when God commands women to live outside the camp during their period. I crash.
However, on this day, God was in it. I landed on a passage that said Jesus had nowhere to lay His head. I was stunned. Jesus was homeless. Instantly, all the dots seemed to connect. God’s heart for the poor and marginalized wasn’t out of compassion, but out of necessity. He was one of them. He was poor. Great, I thought. Knowing I had made a huge spiritual blunder the day before could not be rendered right by a simple confession or good-intention check to World Vision. God was calling me to something more.
Within a few months the fog began to lift as I read and prayed and talked with others that were willing to go against the grain of the overweight, over-indulged, consumer church that I had led for 10 years. For the first time, I felt like I had woken up to the Gospel. There weren’t just souls out there to be saved, but people to be loved.
It seemed the marginalized in the corner of our towns were at the center of God’s agenda. The thing is, we weren’t sure where to start. So we just looked around and responded to the first need we saw: a food pantry. Immediately, dozens of families were impacted every week by the bags filled with groceries; a weekend homeless experiment to raise awareness seemed like the next step, so six of us slept in a train car for three nights in 30-degree weather and ate out of garbage cans; partnerships with like-minded faith communities began to take shape. Non-Christians began partnering with our efforts. They too sensed a great need for justice. We didn’t know what was happening, but we knew it was good.
As I finish this reprise on the last year, I sit here again in Starbucks. I sip my robust coffee and once again I feel relevant. But now, it’s for the right reasons.
Article from RELEVANT Leader. Jon Quitt is the pastor of Vineyard Community Church in Tuscaloosa, Ala. He is married and has two young children and a insane dachshund.
I've been awake for a while now
you've got me feelin like a child now
cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place
It starts in my toes
and I crinkle my nose
where ever it goes I always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go
Dear Future Husband,
Could I just request that you will not be one of those people who snore? After experiencing a night sleeping in the same room as somebody who snores, I now treasure the silence that comes with sleep. (A soft, gentle purring is permissible, of course. In fact, it is rather adorable. I'd pretend you were a cat)
I feel like the dark cloud over my head has been removed and I can see and feel the light again :) Ohhh how I've missed it! I hate it when I'm sad and gloomy, but it's really hard to rise up alone. I'm not a very strong or independent person I think, often I rely on happy things/people/events to cheer me up whenever I feel down. And when circumstances are tough, its hard to stay tough too. That's why I'm so eternally thankful that I have You, You who lifts the dark, grey cloud of doom from above me, who carries me in my pain, who silently wipes my tears away and mends my broken heart, who knows the deepest, most painful struggles and emotions I face, who loves me despite my turning my back on You in the darkness. You loved me, and You're telling me to turn my eyes to You, to forget about the world, to stop comparing myself to the world because I'm grades above all that I'm striving after, that there's no need for me to find my worth and meaning in this chaos because You've already established me in Your house! You stayed by me as I fought You, wanting something more, more, more, and not finding that joy anywhere except in You, I turned back to You, and You accept me again, just like that. I feel like I always lose You in the night, but now I realize that You've always been near, waiting for me to hold on to the hand that You've reached out to me :)
O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s a light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there;
Over us sin no more hath dominion—
For more than conquerors we are!
His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!
I just watched this cool DVD that showed super cool NASA images taken by the NASA hubble space telescope of the different galaxies in our amazing, huge, universe. IT IS SUPER COOL.. And humbling. And a super reality check. I think it brings a whole new meaning to the song, "I stand in awe of you" & "The universe is at your feet" ;)
P/S Some posts, like this one, are no longer friends-only.
"In this semester, our intellectual journey will be haunted consistently by this Manifesto, which is no doubt insightful yet seriously flawed."
Email from my Sociology lecturer for my Social Class and Inequality module.
The days have been fabulous since my parents got home! It's been wonderful, wonderful, oh-so wonderful having good ole' homecooked food by mummy, and her random assortment of cakes.. and daddy to drive us around (no pressure on me!!) so we get to go to eat much better food and go shopping and hang out, yay. There's hardly a moment of boredom! And last weekend we went up to Taiping where the uncles decided to feed us like crazy so we had more food food food food food!!! And grandma is so sweet, she kept holding my hands and my face and once she even remembered my name and tried to feed me when I was supposed to be feeding her! And it's so much fun to have mummy back coz you can randomly quarrel with her and it's funny.. and my daddy is fun to hug coz he's like a teddy bear. Anyways today I did something that made mummy happy and she thinks I'm "all grown up" now- which of course is far from reality but it's always nice to have your mummy tell you that. But going out till late and eating so much supper makes me feel so tired, I have these bunch of thoughts about last week that I need to put down soon lest I forget them, they're important to me... I'll probably get around to it tomorrow since it's just mummy and I at home, becky and daddy are going down for her medical checkup and to set up her bank account and stuff.. My sister is really rich, much richer than I am and will always be much richer than I ever will be, heheheheh OK YOU KNOW I'M REALLY TIRED WHEN I RAMBLE AND DON'T STRING MY THOUGHTS TOGETHER, i need sleep so goodnight. Oh I know I sound so naive and stupid, but it was only today that I found out that the sneaky Devil actually loves to read the bible too, hehehehehehehehehhe