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i could have had anything, as long as i said it outloud. [entries|friends|calendar]

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[18 Feb 2009|07:55pm]
I rise and sashay around the apartment fixing drinks, flicking my eyes to your books and records, listening to you offer them as drunk presents which I don't accept. Later on you'll walk me down to the street to where my car is parked, freshly spattered by a storm not unlike that which drove me up the stairs and into your hall. It's not romantic, it's LA, but there's violence in the wind. Rain falls, crossing the translucent beacon cast by streetlight, becoming a shimmer as it spills into circular glows that stain the sidewalk like ladies skirts, whirling quietly alone. Your hair looks ridiculous, and I'm aware of our closeness, that I'm both comfortable and cold, no longer making sense. For some reason there's a song playing in my head, but I won't give it enough attention to pick out a melody or words. I want to leave, not this street or this person, but I want to go and find a field and some mountains and get a dog and hunt down every beautiful color and taste until I am able to walk away again, to find a desert stretching on forever, to lay below a sky gone aflame with burning orange, purples, and pinks, stars containing secrets that I will never possibly understand.
You can smell my aching, the scent is stronger than that of the rain.
Poor boy. There is so much that I want.
I want to cry, I'm so full of love.

[28 Jan 2009|06:24pm]
It's now official: I am going to die in my car.

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