what i mean is i'm so afraid of having what
i've always wanted.
a friend once told me you never want to
lose perfection but maybe
i'm just bad at directions
lame highschool parties in the ghetto
sleeping with a french man/boy, whatever
extreme bowling with ten of the best people in this town
spending $90 on nothingness
excessive trips to starbucks
driving driving drivingggg and blaring frou frou, madlib, etc.
my point is 3 day weekends need to happen way more often
ps. people who say 'byes' or 'lols', fucking die.
enjoy the rest of the weekend killahs
will you ever go away?
i learned to ballroom dance today
with peggy lee as background music
[he tought me]
he learned a few steps in hip hop
[of which i taught him]
he's my southern boy, & i'm just another girl from new york
yet somehow, we've met the median and have fallen/in\love
sold us with a contract of
mansions, BMWs & plastic surgery
no worries & frowns, just
freedom, a big ol' sun & sandy beaches.
& re-rooted we were with the
promises of rags
turned to riches,
black market jewlery
turned to gold.
but you gotta read between the lines,
find the fine print.
"she'll never see her daddy again"
and signed you did.
look where the writing of your right hand led, momma,
a new land, just the same old shit with a plastic coating,
a grown man who's got us at the mercy of his feet because
you put your life & soul in him, your trust, your funds & pride in him.
& he provoked, choked on the actuality of now having a daughter
there's a new line in order & i just don't get it.
How is a girl supposed to understand the world when she
doesn't even get her own family.
bleh i don't like this either. fuck me.
read this and comment with your replies
seriously, you can't get more ridiculous then that
4th period merrily and i decided to drive over to a grocery store
and actually apply for a job; so
after making a fool of myself trying to
figure out the electronic application we
found (who we thought was) the manager.
Who, after making total fools of ourselves decides to throw in a
"im not the person you talk to"
how nice of him.
though, his smile was darling & i totally
would've done him in the produce isle.
then remembering i had be at the gym by four to meet my personal trainer i
dropped her off and ran home to change, did some paperwork while driving
and still made it at four.. yes, i am just that cool
i got my ass kicked by my trainer, totally.
so tomorrow i've already planned to, well bluntly, NOT DO A THING.
OH yes, jacki you owe me for sitting in the freezing cold for an hour
watching alex at his soccer game, of which, he hardly played.
trying trying trying
one thousand ninety five days
time? i did my time
waiting? i waited enough
and im so glad i realized that people
only change when they want to and
even the worst people
tell the best lies.
so believe it or not, i swear
i never loved you
and i'm hoping this is the ending
to a consequential mistake
*ps. once i get my camera to work, there will be pictures as well.. sorry folks
your new love affairs
i'd follow, hands tied behind my back
pinkies crossed, willingly
different beds, different names,
i stayed behind you
biting my lip until nothing was left
i kept my eyes closed the whole ride home afraid of
seeing what could kill one's heart
"never let a man run you life, your heart, your head"
& my mind went in over drive and i was going in circles
but your still winning, mother don't worry
i'll catch up to you after your joyride.