I think some things would be better off unsaid.
Sometimes I wish people wouldn't tell me things.
Kyle gets out soon. and that is wonderful. him being locked up has made me realize alot of things. I miss him.
I havn't had my meds, the ones i like to take for a week. it's fucking with me alot. I don't liek it, when i don't take them it changes my mood completly and the way I am. When I take them I am more stable, less likely to snap and fucking break your face.
I live with my g-ma again. I go to the anderson center once a week. me and my mom can't get along. she has problems, and so do i. and that's why we clash. there the same fucking problems. don't put two fucking bi polar crazy bitches in one house together, especially if they both refuse to take meds for it.
let me clarify something, ME AND STACEY HOPKINS ARE NOT AND HAVE NEVER HAD SEX YOU STUPID CUNTRAGS. i am sick of this fucking rumor, it's stresssing me out even more. holes holes holes in my tummy. just because me, stacey, and kyle are together 24/7 and are BEST FRIENDS, doesn't mean im fucking stacey you shit dicks. get a fucking life and keep my name out of your low life mouths.
anyways. the past week, i hate my mind. im in one of those really long lasting moods, that makes me sit around and think alot, and then cry when i see a fucking smooshed banana peel or some shit like that. i hate crying for no good fucking reason. makkee it go away. i love sleeping, because when you are asleep, you don't feel your tummy in knots and you don't feel like thinking about everything. you dream.
i vent and i vent and i vent and i vent and i let it all build up inside until one day i snap. and then that's just a stupid bad day. then you do the things that make your body feel numb and your mind feel free and it all goes away. what can i say kids.
god i'm so cold right now. i wish i were wearing sweats.
i just need some ramons,blackeyedpeas,sublime,and bobmarely right now. and maybe a little bit of my friend maryjane.
then there's this one person, that makes me feel alright. and makes my mind happy and free, the kind of thing that drugs can't do. this one person makes me smile more than you!
friends. god idk what to do with them. i have so many that just h3ay38ha;oite. then i got them good ones. then i got them confusing ones. theoihaohiteihoaht then i have tjjustistt blah. friends. hey guys i'm confused. hold me. love me nowww or never. thankkkkkk you and goodnight.
i have been messing with html for hours.
i cant figure it out.
wellll. myboyfriend whom i love. is most defintly in jail.
thespace bar on this keyboard doesnt work.
i miss my boyfriend. he's been in there for about 2weeks. andhe might be inthere fora while.
Ihave been hanging out with kyle obryant.mybest friend. and josh davis. and stacey. and kelsey.
i miss kyle.
when your with someboyd everyday andyou love them. then suddenly theyare taken away from you right under your eyes andyou can't do a damn thing about it.
it's like losing a part of me.
plus i cant stop stealing.
past 3 days.
2 new dresses.
a halloween costuem.
an amazing leopard hat.
lots of food.
an amazing bag.
ahhhh i can'tstop.
most of the cloths are stripes as well. i like stripes.
im going to stop.
first i couldn't stop drinking.
it's still hard to not drink.REALLY hard.
then it was pills.which was juust stupid.
and now this.
why can't i just be not normal. but stay out of trouble.
I need more friends.
i go to the anderson center once aweek now.
me and mymom dofamily counseling.
i have severe ADHD but I dontwant to take meds for it.
they want to give me meds for my bi-polar.
i dont want them.
itwill cahnge me.
i already take shit for being depressed.
but all in all.
Iam a happy normal teenage dirtbag garbage badass.
i try to love as much as i can.
somebody adopt me.
hold me and make me yours.
.very recent pictutes.
p.p.s i don't go out with the kyle in these pictures [[kyle obryant]]. i go out with kyle loy.
kyle obryants little sister and suzanne
me and kyle
this is an older one, when my hair wasnt black.
miss mack sleeping on my couch
this is old. like 4 months. me my mom and my little brother at the greatest place ever, THE ZOO. p.s my mom is much better looking.
and the me and the penguins.
i miss mack more than words can describe.
he was my breathe.
and now he's in florida.
i think he's coming to visit soon and he's gonna stay with me.
im at ebbertt. we just had break. we are the only class who gets break everyday, ours is 20 minutes long.
i found Destiny, my cousin in the line and she bought a pretzel and we shared it. she's alway so nice. i love her.
my mountain dew is almost gone and that makes me really sad. im fuckin thirsty.
I MISS LEXI.
a whole bunch.
i tried calling her yesterday.
my jeans are too tight, and theres a huge rip by my crouch so i had to wear polka dotted leggings. i hate leggings. everybody wears them now. fucking dicks.
me mason kyle eric
ohhhh im so excited.
i need a dollar for lunch.
im HUNGRY SON.
the buses need to get here. i want to go back to highland so i can get my zero gauge. i have a two in right now. im excited, movin on up. and tiddles is giving me double zeroes, but i don't know if i want to go that big.
i really need a job by the way. if anybody has any suggestions and knows of anywhere where i could get one. no joke.
im gonna put new pictures up of me and and yea.
5 more minutes.
I CAN'T FIND THIS FUCKING FILE ON MY COMPUTER. it's making me very angry, you don't even know.
my cubicle is amazing. it has me, kyle, derek, ani difranco, regina spektor, marilyn monroe, rent, abby [[rip]], the walrus and teh carpenter, lots of amzing pictures. i love my cubicle. i don't ever want to give it up.
i read. all the time now. everyday. everyeeahtioe
white oleander is amazing.
and im reading the memory artists by jeffrey moore right now.
it's about this kid with synesthesia. amazing shit.
im reading 1984 and great expectations too. there really good.
GO READ GUYS.
i love you
your still my best friend.
i miss you
i hate not talkign to you
i hate not seeing you.
i hate a date with ashley friday.
please wish me luck.
im really scared and nervous.
i wishi could talk to you about it.
you fucking queer.
i love you
i went to see tubring with my friend andrea in cleveland ohio. it was a six hour drive there, and a seven hour drive back.
it was amazing.
and i was with lexi alot.
we just drank
and had sex
and smoked pot.
and watched t/v.
it's the life yo.
i drink all the time.
whenim not drinking or smoking i feen so bad. andi hate it. i hate it.
buttt this is how things were.
we got drunk. sobbered up. drank more. smoked pot. woke up, drank some because it was right there.
we neveer stoppped.
and i also hung out with christian.
that was fun.
but. i wish i woulda spent some of it with ashley.
she drives me 309u039hjoiehot.
and it makes me hate her sometimes.
but at the same time. i love her.
love over-powers the hate.
i really want a chilli dog.
and this one girl.
ehhh. mixed emotions. ahhh.
austins an asshole.
blha blah blah blah blah suck it. hard.
i feel like shit.
i have all this bottled in feeeling for ehoiahto3ie and ahh.
nigger. fuck shit . bitch. cunt. go die. assholes
hah funny time
and the this ugly girl.
and poh yea. ehotie
me and nikki are love
and me and my soulmate.
yea. i miss them.
and this is beautiful
so this guy
wants his whisky
hes not gonna get it.