Life is too short to spend your days complaining. Life is to short to not live everyday like its your last. Life is to short to hate. Life is to short to not know love. but life is also long tough and can kick the shit out of you at times. chew you up and spit you out with no remorse or second thoughts.... but thats just life... get used to it or get out
I love everyone and eerything that this crazy fucked up swirling mess of reality has created. I have also become so completly self aware that i now know that reality is just a reflection of my own state of mind. i feel so sorry for the masses of unawake blind sheep slowly following the heard.....
WAKE UP AND LIVE!
WAKE UP AND LIVE!
WAKE UP AND LIVE!
WAKE UP AND LIVE!
livin in the bay these days... lovin every minute. i still get homesick but not for my home necesarily but just the people and memories i left behind. i have friends up here. but there not necesarily "my" friends. everyone ive met up here ive met through other people. whether it is through Lanore and all the people i meet through her who are mostly people she works with. and by the way i now work with her at 8x8. and everyone else i meet is generally through Alx. i love everyone ive been meeting up here in the last 8 months. the only thing is i need my own friends. i havent had a chance to really meet anyone with the same intrests as me. i need someone i can talk to about music. i need daniel. i wish he lived up here more than anything. it sounds dumb but i feel more comfortable talking to daniel than i do lanore. whether it be just bullshitng and talkin about whatever... or having a truly deep and meaningful conversation. i can tell daniel anything. i feel like we have soo much in common.and we have gone through so many of the same problems in our lives. he really is my "best" friend. i need to meet more people with similar intrests. i need someone i can talk about music with!!!
so i went to one of the sickest raves ive been to up here in the bay this past saturday. it was a renegade out on hunters point near portero hill. i was exhausted from being at the beach all day. me lanore and alx went to santa cruz for my supervisors birthday bbq and we didnt get back till around 930 or 10... the directions for the rave didnt get posted until 11pm and the party started at midnight. we got a little lost on our way there (but shit it wouldnt be a good rave unless you get a little lost on the way, who the hell wants to go to a party if you know where it is! haha)so we finally reach the destination and we park in a little lot off of cargo way. we see a small grioup of people hiding behind a storage crate so we walk towards them. we were greeted by a group of very friendly people who informed us that the party was down this path about a half mile or so. we started to head that direction and we could see the stage off in the distance. it was the traditional green lights that we have seen before at other renegades put on by this same production company (anotha-level)so we get out there and there is maybe about 40 or 50 people there at this time and the music was already in full swing. luckily we got there just as the dubstep was starting!!! it was soooooooo amazing. all the sets were "vs" sets so there were two dj's spinning at a time. i heard some of the sickest dubstep tunes ive ever heard minus the shit they were dropping at stilldream. ive never heard anything that will compare to what i heard at stilldream (year 10 is gonna be unbelievable!!!)
im gettin new turntables soon... hopefully within the next few weeks im gonna get two Stanton C.324's and a Beringher DDM 4000 mixer. I AM SOOO EXCITED!
all and all life is good these days. i havent written in this journal for well over a year now but it feels good to write again. even if its just a list of all the shit i did that day... it still is nice to have somewhere to vent.
wow so my life has changed sooooo much since i last wote somthing here... numerous addictions both gained and lost (i dont smoke those fucking cancer sticks anymore!) numerous friends both gained and lost... ive been up, ive been down, ive been ALL around. these past two years have been a constant roller coaster. but i wouldent change a thing. NO REGRETS!!! they only bring you down. all they do is sit there in the back of your mind slowly eating away at you until you just cant take it anymore. so i just say FUCK IT! SHIT HAPPENS, GET OVER IT!!! the only thing that brings me down lately is the fact that im turning 20 in a little over a month. to be perfectly honest im pretty scared of growing up. im not sure what to expect. on a brighter note... i have a new girlfriend, she is great... i guess ive always known that somthing would happen between us... i just didnt know when.
i dont even know who is going to read this... who the fuck still uses livejournal?!?! send me a comment if you actually read this. i wanna know if any of my friends still use this site.
it sucks losing such a good friend... ill always remeber the good times.
im becoming more content with my life... i have a completly different view on life now, and it seems to be working out really well. im happier than i have been in a long time, these past few weeks have been amazing...and its all because of her, i hope all things go well.
ive felt so inspired lately in my music... im trying to experiment with new sounds and new instruments... i realized that music is my life its the one thing that keeps me centered and thinking straight.
santa maria is gay....school is gay...work is gay...everything is gay!
im going to leave for a while, i dont know when im gonna come back. maybe the end of summer... maybe not, ill come back when i feel like it i guess.