||[Oct. 30th, 2005|09:17 am]
i've really realise how much stuff i take for granted (sp).|
not only simple things such as my job, my friends and my general day to day life, but there's one thing that stands out from almost everything, one person who (yes it's cheesy) makes me so stupidly happy i can't believe i was stupid enough to even get close to loosing it.
The other night i made a terrible mistake, and i put my relationship with adam at risk, at a stupid risk. Why would i do something like that when i'm so in love? why would i when i'm so so happy? That's what i want to know, as i'm sure adam does.
It's going to be ages until we're back to the way we were, but, i don't know...i guess i wrote this entry to find out how you feel about people who fuck up. Do i deserve to be trusted again? People who honestly know me should know i'd never ever do this intentionally, especially not to hurt him, not of all people.
& adam, if you read this, i know i've said sorry so many times, and you say it'sokay, but in my head it's still not. I can't help but think about how badly i've let you down.. I'm so so fucking lucky to have you still be with me, and there to love me. It makes me happier than i could ever imagened knowing that you still want to be with me although i've fucked up big time.
I hope this will get better.... because i really truely love that boy
Amy, you've got to remember that we're only human and we ALL make mistakes from time to time. Mistakes make us the people we are. If we didn't make mistakes then how would we learn in life? No one wants to get hurt, but it happens whether its intentionally or not. In this case, I know you didn't mean for this outcome. As you know, I've been in exactly the same position with someone I loved. What I did wasn't right and as much as my (then) girlfriend said it was "ok" it made me more mad because, of course, it wasn't OK. But I can honestly tell you that situations like this only make you stronger, as an individual and as a couple. Keep your chin up because I know you're stronger than this and I know you will fight through this in no time. It will take time and patience, but oh how it is worth it.
Before I post this, I just wanna say you know where I am whenever you need me: remember that, girl.
Love as always, Rachelle xxxxxxx
=) you're a star rachelle, you really are.
well...i was about to write some stuff..but then i read what rachelle wrote...and well, thats almost exactly what i was gonna say!
but yeah, we all fuck up, its inevitable. regrets only lead to pain, so all we can do is learn from it.
i know your still dealing with what happend, and i guess in my own way i am too. but whats most important to me right now is moving on and rebuilding our relationship. i know your sorry for what you did, and i beleive you when you say it wont happen again. just never forget that i love you more than words can describe, and something as meaningless as this isnt gonna change that. nothing will change that.
your the best thing thats ever happend to me, i know the last thing you wanted to do was hurt me, but we always hurt the ones we love. and the last thing i want to do is hurt you, but one day it will happen, its inevitable.
i love you, thats all there is to it. nothing can change that, and nothing ever will.
thank you for making my life livable again.
you are my everything
i love you, more than anything else in my life.