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So.. it's been a while. Recently, a lot of stuff has happened… - is this love.. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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[Oct. 2nd, 2005|08:39 am]
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So.. it's been a while.

Recently, a lot of stuff has happened although, it's not really that..uh..big?

I've started college, or 6th form, whichever you'd like to call it. It's a pile of wank. It really is. I hate it. I wouldn't tell anyone to go to imberhorne 6th form. It's just..so unwelcoming. Don't get me wrong, i love the lessons.. especially art, although it's too much work a week, i love it. I get to fraw in every lesson (which yeah sounds stupid, but it's more every week..it's not all write ups and stuff). Plus my art is being displayed in ANOTHER gallery. So, i'm guessing i'm good at it..heh. Psychology is what i expected it to be, but it doesn't help that i'ms cared of the teacher (but i hate her, and she haets me) and i sit next to the most irritating person on the planet. Sociology is exactly the same.. I love the lesson, although the teacher doesn't scare me.. i sit next to one lovely person and one icky person.

I just hate that social side of 6th form.. everyone's friends, and now all the popular people have left, all the twats are becoming popular, and are making utter idiots out of themselves. For example.. SOCIALLY SMOKING.

IF YOU CAN'T SMOKE..DON'T FUCKING DO IT!

*ahem*
Anyway, on that note, i've given up smoking & drinking.. oh, and casual sex. One would call me a straigh-edge. Although, yeah i do have an x on me, and yes i do believe in the stuff sXe's do.. i don't really like.. i'm not being one just to fit in. It's a great way of keeping (semi) healthy, and i'm fed up of just messing about. Hanging about drinking and smoking doesn't really..do it for me anymore. I'll go out with friends and because i used to smoke and drink, it'd give me something to do.. but because i don't anymore, things tend to irritate me..then i get upset and take it out on people. Last night my dad said he thinks i'm growing up.. haha. If only he'd noticed a month ago. So, it's been a month i've been clean now. And i'd say to anyone smoking - it is hard to give up, but it's totally worth it..i save a tenner if not more per week, and i've bought so many new clothes and cd's because of it. Oh, and plus..my car won't stink like an ash tray ^_^

Hmm.. that leads me onto.. it's my birthday in a month. I don't have any idea what to do. I want to go out and celebrate, but the no drinking means no drunkness which is fine with me, but hmm.. i don't know. I might go and look for a car during the day XD and then possibly in the evening go to a gig? Or i don't know.. i don't want to jsut sit out in a field.. so if anything like that is going to be/getting planned. Cancel it. I really don't want to spend my 17th in a field getting cold =) Also, friends...

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY?

well, i thought i knew, but obviously i don't. There are a few who have stuck by me and stuff, but thats only what.. 3 people? And they mean the world to me, but i've really got to the stage where i'm like, everyone can go fuck themselves. I'm sick of people wanting help from me and i give and give and give, and when i'm down, they ask how i am, i reply shitty and they're just like.. i hope you get better soon, or.. oh god not again. Something like that is really hurtful.

For the past month i've been trying to get two friends of mine together, and these past few weeks, i've been REALLY down. He, one day asks if i'm okay, i reply no.. and he's just like.. are you ever happy amy haha. It's like, yeah i am, but when people treat me like a councilling service, i'm not.

Agh.

Anyway, thats the rant over with and what i've been up to.

Sorry i don't write on here often, but it seems pointless when noone reads it anyway.



summed up = right now, sucks.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: msloz
2005-10-02 08:43 am (UTC)
I read, I read!

It's good to have you back :D

I hate to sound like an old granny, but the transition into 6th form is way bigger than anyone expects (ok, well, biger than I expected), and I hated it for a while till I got used to it, but it WILL get better.

Take care!
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[User Picture]From: ____like__woahh
2005-10-02 08:49 am (UTC)
Yeah.. it's odd but you know, i hope it'll get better.

=) it helps having adam, although he lives in australia.. =( but he's coming to england this weekend to see me yay!

xxx
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[User Picture]From: distillers_girl
2005-10-02 10:02 am (UTC)
Firstly, I don't know what to say about your 6th form situation because I dropped out of college two months into the three year course. This is because I hated my class and my form tutor. Like you, I felt it was unwelcoming too. A few of my friends are in similar situations to you and I will tell you the same: at first it will seem hard but it WILL get easier (remember your first day/week at high school, aye?) But at the end of the day, if you're not happy just remember that furhter/higher education is always there for you to return to in college and what have you. I aim to go back into education next September.

Secondly, congratulations on giving up drinking alcohol and especially giving up smoking! That is really, REALLY impressive and I cant actually put into words how proud I am (OK, now I am just starting to sound like your mother).

You birthday soon, aye? Give me the dates or a weekend or something and we will do something together: shopping in London is calling or like you said, a gig or something.

As for your friends...if only I had a pound for every time I have been in this situation. Put it this way, I'd be so rich I'd give you money to go to Australia and see your friend. But remember it is times like these when you realise who your real friends are and those people that are worth your time and patience. It's their lost if they cant put themselves out for you.
You've been there so many times for me in the past and you know where I am if you ever wanna talk, etc. If I didn't think the world of you or your friendship then I wouldn't still be "internet" friends with you for like two years......

Last but not least, I luff ya girl. Keep your chin up because it is times like these in life where you get experiance ready for tmrw. (God, I sound like some person who should be going to Church 'round about now...)

Rachelle x x x x x x x x x x x
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[User Picture]From: ____like__woahh
2005-10-02 04:22 pm (UTC)
I tell you what.. that made me smile.

I'm so glad i know you, you aren't "mother like" remember heh you're like a sister to me, that's how i think of you (hope you don't mind) but i've always looked up to you, and i guess.. i duno..you always seem to know what to say and that.

With the 6th form, i'm going to try and keep it going.. if i get the grades, i'll get a decent job i guess so it'll be worth it in the end.

5th november is my birthday, but you're away so maybe after that or something we could meet up and yeah.. camden or something ^_^!

Uh... friends - i don't really need many anymore, i just need the few close ones i have. I appreciate you still beign aroudn in my life, although we don't talk much i always like hearing from you and reading your entries on here.


I love you tooo XD and i really do hope we can hang out soon.

Thank you for the advice & everything, i really do appreciate it <3 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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[User Picture]From: relaxxrelapse
2005-10-02 06:05 pm (UTC)
i miss you loads
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[User Picture]From: ____like__woahh
2005-10-02 06:34 pm (UTC)
i really miss you too

=( i miss our friendship and our like endless hours of talking about crap..

=( miss youuuuu!

xxx
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From: wolfamongsheep
2005-10-07 01:41 am (UTC)
Hey, I have always been an email, phone call, or letter (I still havent gotten one of those from you :-P) away! I didnt even get a birthday card from you :-( I am your friend and secret lover, that ALL the girls wish they had. Pull out your card and you will know its true. ;-) Anyways, just hang in there. If you were here, I think on your birthday I would take you out to a nice dinner, get you floating on water and pop, then take you to a comedy club and make you wet yourself. Instead, I can only say, "happy birthday beautiful!" Be good and remember to think about me from time to time....
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