||[Oct. 2nd, 2005|08:39 am]
So.. it's been a while.|
Recently, a lot of stuff has happened although, it's not really that..uh..big?
I've started college, or 6th form, whichever you'd like to call it. It's a pile of wank. It really is. I hate it. I wouldn't tell anyone to go to imberhorne 6th form. It's just..so unwelcoming. Don't get me wrong, i love the lessons.. especially art, although it's too much work a week, i love it. I get to fraw in every lesson (which yeah sounds stupid, but it's more every week..it's not all write ups and stuff). Plus my art is being displayed in ANOTHER gallery. So, i'm guessing i'm good at it..heh. Psychology is what i expected it to be, but it doesn't help that i'ms cared of the teacher (but i hate her, and she haets me) and i sit next to the most irritating person on the planet. Sociology is exactly the same.. I love the lesson, although the teacher doesn't scare me.. i sit next to one lovely person and one icky person.
I just hate that social side of 6th form.. everyone's friends, and now all the popular people have left, all the twats are becoming popular, and are making utter idiots out of themselves. For example.. SOCIALLY SMOKING.
IF YOU CAN'T SMOKE..DON'T FUCKING DO IT!
Anyway, on that note, i've given up smoking & drinking.. oh, and casual sex. One would call me a straigh-edge. Although, yeah i do have an x on me, and yes i do believe in the stuff sXe's do.. i don't really like.. i'm not being one just to fit in. It's a great way of keeping (semi) healthy, and i'm fed up of just messing about. Hanging about drinking and smoking doesn't really..do it for me anymore. I'll go out with friends and because i used to smoke and drink, it'd give me something to do.. but because i don't anymore, things tend to irritate me..then i get upset and take it out on people. Last night my dad said he thinks i'm growing up.. haha. If only he'd noticed a month ago. So, it's been a month i've been clean now. And i'd say to anyone smoking - it is hard to give up, but it's totally worth it..i save a tenner if not more per week, and i've bought so many new clothes and cd's because of it. Oh, and plus..my car won't stink like an ash tray ^_^
Hmm.. that leads me onto.. it's my birthday in a month. I don't have any idea what to do. I want to go out and celebrate, but the no drinking means no drunkness which is fine with me, but hmm.. i don't know. I might go and look for a car during the day XD and then possibly in the evening go to a gig? Or i don't know.. i don't want to jsut sit out in a field.. so if anything like that is going to be/getting planned. Cancel it. I really don't want to spend my 17th in a field getting cold =) Also, friends...
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY?
well, i thought i knew, but obviously i don't. There are a few who have stuck by me and stuff, but thats only what.. 3 people? And they mean the world to me, but i've really got to the stage where i'm like, everyone can go fuck themselves. I'm sick of people wanting help from me and i give and give and give, and when i'm down, they ask how i am, i reply shitty and they're just like.. i hope you get better soon, or.. oh god not again. Something like that is really hurtful.
For the past month i've been trying to get two friends of mine together, and these past few weeks, i've been REALLY down. He, one day asks if i'm okay, i reply no.. and he's just like.. are you ever happy amy haha. It's like, yeah i am, but when people treat me like a councilling service, i'm not.
Anyway, thats the rant over with and what i've been up to.
Sorry i don't write on here often, but it seems pointless when noone reads it anyway.
summed up = right now, sucks.