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Entries by tag: week 1

LJ Idol, Week 1, Empty Gestures

To: God
From: Briley on behalf of humankind

I hope this reaches you. The postman looked a little confused when I handed him a letter that was to be delivered to Heaven, but if the postal service can handle Santa Clause’s mail, I figured this would be no problem. I apologize for the sheer number of stamps. I wasn’t sure how many it would require.

On to the purpose of this letter.

This letter is meant as a most sincere apology from the human race for our shortcomings. I’m sure you’ve seen the signs of our rapid decline; the startling lack of music on MTV, the male musician’s sudden preoccupation with skinny jeans, and the unfathomable success of Twilight. But these trespasses, (though most certainly egregious,) are not the reason for this written supplication.

We write to you today to beg your forgiveness for the modern church sign. With attendance down in our church’s, we thought the best solution lay in advertising. Instead of asking our already dwindling congregations to spend their precious time dealing with the hungry, homeless, and imprisoned, we thought bright signs with witty, eye-catching phrases was just the remedy for our illness.

“Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.”
-Fear is sometimes a great motivator.

“Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons — come hear one!”
-The original target market for this one was the balding middle aged man with a large collection of joke books and Whoopi cushions he liked to bring to parties…not as big of a demographic as we originally thought.

“I kissed a girl and I’m going to hell.”
-Yes, this one clearly affronts the whole “judge not” precept in the Bible, but hey, it is singable.

In hindsight, these were definitely not the way to go. Studies are showing that they are actually decreasing people’s desire to attend. We are sorry for our massive error in judgment.

The good news is, we’ve figured out the solution!

Strobe light Sunday night!

We do hope you approve.

Love,
The Church

LJ Idol Week 1, Saying Good-Bye

It’s midnight, and I sit alone on my apartment steps, the August humidity wrapped around me like a heavy blanket. I feel the judgment of the moon and stars weighing on me as they look down from their heavenly dais, their points of light cutting into me like a thousand silver needles. Two weeks have passed, but I am only now starting to glimpse the gravity of what I’ve done, the summer night sky casting a pale glow onto the ugly truth; I am a murderer.

I remember the physical anguish of that Saturday afternoon, curled up on my bathroom floor, guttural cries of pain reverberating against the white walls. The pain killers they gave me have no affect, and no one is answering the emergency pager number.

Why aren’t they answering?
When will it stop?
So this is what it feels like for something to die?

“Residual pain is normal.”
“Avoid sexual intercourse.”
“You should feel normal again in a few days.”

The dreams keep me from sleeping. Phantom cries slice through the darkness, and endless hallways lead nowhere. I never get any closer to them, but I search anyway, the screams growing louder, and yet no nearer. It is much easier to fuel myself with caffeine pills and bypass the ghosts.

This is what they call normal?

“How are you?”
“Did it hurt?”
“Do you feel different?”

There’s no scar, no mark where they removed it; only a fracture in my soul that I don’t know how to mend. Crickets hum as stale tears fill my eyes, silently falling onto my shaking hands. I realize for the first time the root of it all; I’m alone, more alone than I’ve ever been before. If sixty-seven days wasn’t enough to make it real, then why do I miss it?

I have no name, no face, not even a grave to cling too. Only bright pink and purple instruction sheets, a red stain on white porcelain, and the empty feeling in my stomach, serve as reminders of your existence. I killed a piece of myself with you, and I can never get either back.
Good-bye, little one.


A/N: Please no judgment from pro-lifers, or justification from pro-choice people...It is what it is, and I can't take it back no matter how much I want too. I simply had to post it because I know there's someone out there who has been through this, or is thinking about having an abortion. These are the aftereffects that no one tells you about...do with it what you will.