Journaling is my ketharsis. I'm sorry that so many of you are a part of this, especially the new people on my friends list. I have many happy parts of myself that are just currently drowning right now, but they'll emerge again.
All that said, here is my "good things" list.
+Carlie, Carrie, and Dom are the best friends I could ever have. I know I wrote about them in the LJ Idol entry from a few weeks ago, but it bares repeating. I have cut Blessing out of my life for the time being, (an X-boyfriend/misplaced bes friend who became way too entangled in my life...ask if you want more background,) and it hurts so much right now. I feel responsible for him, and miss him, and my sadness spills out onto my friends sometimes. I try so hard not to suck them into my vortex, but I can't help it sometimes. All I can say is that it's a good thing they're forgiving, graceous people. I want to show them how much they mean to me, but I don't know how. Words seem feeble at this point. I fail at emotions and outward expressions of appreciation sometimes...I just want them to know.
+I get a dog in a few short days!!! Praise God indeed. I think the time away will be good for me. I just hope my body can stand up to the training.
+I got a new Bible yesterday in hopes that it will inspire me to read it more. My faith is important to me, and it seems to have been swept under the rug and lost in the pile of emotional dust. I want my relationship with God to be complete, whole, and honest. I know not all of you are Christians, and this is not my atempt to "convert" anyone. I'm just expressing my inner thoughts and feelings from my personal life. So if you see more spiritual entries in the future, feel free to scroll past if need be. I won't be offended. Feel free to comment with opposingviews as well. As long as we all stay civil, there could be very productive conversations that occur.
I can't promise that more glowing entries will be coming soon, but please understand that this season of darkness will not last forever, and I will return to my regularly scheduled, sarcastic, rediculous self.
thank you for putting up with me...all of you